if I could never see another ig model again 💆🏼‍♀️ life would be good

this is what fiona apple meant when she said i resent you for presenting your life like a fucking propaganda brochure

Fiona Apple, interviewed by Vulture .   : )

HELP

💀💀💀💀💀

someone said ‘the version of me you created in your mind is not my responsibility’ and wow

genius

She really answered ‘where are you from?’ with ‘the accent is australian’ she’s a professional scammer

I hate English

English might seem complicated, but it can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.

Fuck you

NSNNSJSNSKSKZKOS

YOU NEED TO MAKE IT MORE OBVIOUS THAT THIS IS ABOUT THE SIMS

10 tricks you didn’t know you could do with your food.

By Blossom

The internet went from showing food recipe videos to alchemy in less than a decade. There’s going to be a quick video on how to make the philosopher’s stone from tomato sauce next week. 

akshajlfjsldjdjdkdndjxkaldk

so much has happened this year it feels like i lived 3 years in one.

Inspired by this photo that I laughed at for like ten minutes.

[d|p] [More: Comics | PKMN] (I am so sorry for assaulting your dashboard with this).

WHAT.THE.FUCK?

(i saw this on twitter but hadn’t seen it on tumblr so i needed to post it. pls watch this)

This is what sports should be about <3

i fucking lost it when she opened the fridge

why do russians end their sentences with) while texting. ??

Yeah I was wondering the same thing! Can anyone explain?

ooh i’m glad to explain this! see this smiling face :) ? well! in Russia we somehow ended up not using the eye part. so if someone texts you with lots of “))“s in the end of their message, they are just trying to be friendly and smile! same with (, if a russian person ends their message like that((, it means they are sad. hope that helped!)

#russians dont have eyes

your heart is a muscle the size of a rat

SPONGE BOB SQUARE PANTS

brilliant

IT’S 2 O CLOCK IN THE FUCKING MORNING AND I’M HOWLING MY MOM JUST WALKED IN AND NOW I HAVE TO TURN THE COMPUTER OFF FUCK IT WAS SO WORTH IT

The chicken doenst even articulate and it’s more convincing as a living entity than 90% of Hollywood movie monsters

THIS IS SO ME