I Saw You Yesterday.

My friend told me not to freak out to warn me that you were standing there, with another girl. I never thought I would run into you were I did. If I knew I would avoid it forever. The truth is that I didn’t stop thinking about you when we ended but I guess you did.

The second I saw you I started freaking out despite my friend telling me not to. I started shaking and my heart was racing. Why?

Because to this day I still don’t get what I did wrong for you to hurt me like you did and I always feel like it’s my fault.

But I held my head high and didn’t make eye contact to spare myself from crying my eyes out in front of all those people around us who didn’t have a clue what was going on because they we’re too focussed on getting to the places that they had to go.

As we walked past you I let out a big sigh of relief because I succeeded in passing by you without crying or making it obvious to you that I still miss you like crazy even though you hurt me so bad.

The truth is that I did want to make eye contact with you to give you a dirty look but my friend kept me from looking at you as we passed by because she knew that I would regret it the second you were out of eye sight.

She was right. I know now that I would have regretted it if I gave you a dirty look, I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself.

You didn’t leave my mind that day. I still think about you every day but not as much as I did the day I saw you. I am thankful to my friend for giving me a warning and telling me what to do because she knew that I would regret it.

There are still things in my daily life that remind me of you, which isn’t that bad I realise now. You were a part of my life and I am kind of happy about that because we made some good memories and faith decided that the memories that we had was enough for us.

I know now that the next time I see you that its nothing to freak out over. You were a part of my life and now you’re not. End of story.

-D. N.

A day will come

May be days, or weeks, or months or longer, but one day you will be able to get over some one who left you. One day you will be able wipe those tears forever. A day will come when memories won’t feel as hard to breathe around, they won’t reach out and manage to cut the breathe from your throat. A day will come when you will look up and the stars will shine brighter than they did the night before and something will set inside you. That something will be hope. A hope that even the most impossible heartache come to an end. Just because you are alone, doesn’t mean you’ll be alone forever. Just because you cry doesn’t mean you will cry forever. Just because the night has come doesn’t mean the sun will not arise the next morning. For, it is the promise of the Almighty; if a wound has touched you, be sure that a similar wound has touched the others, and so are the days. Good days and bad days have their turns. Today you are crying, but one day those tears will give you reasons to smile and shine. And in the midst of darkness, a day will come when you will become your own source of light.

Sana Afreen -Via @substantive-thoughts

I tried you know?..

I tried you know, I really tried to let it all go. I tried to convince myself that I would be better of without you and I was, one month passed and I wasn’t really missing you that bad. My friends made me laugh, I went out, I was doing great in school. Two months in and I didn’t even mention your name when I talked. Somewhere between the third and the fourth month my mind started wandering back to you. I could lay in my bed wonder if you were in yours and… I don’t really know why but something happened one of those nights, I was laying there and my whole body stared to feel different. Seconds later I was sobbing, trying not to scream your name out loud. I guess that’s when the reality kicked in and I was drowning. I didn’t sleep that night. In the morning on my way to school, I mentioned your name when I talked and I felt something in my chest, it wasn’t pain..just a feeling. That feeling kept coming back every time I said your name out loud. 7 months later I was laying in my bed, with tears falling down my face and I deleted all of our pictures that day, one by one. 9 months later I found myself thinking about you every second of every day. I found myself thinking about you when I laughed, and I stopped laughing every time. 10 months later I stopped laughing at all.. and if I was thinking that I felt pain at the third month, I was wrong. Drowning would be a blast compared to how my whole body started to ache at night. But life goes on right? Until that pain wasn’t only there at nights. Here I am, over a year later, looking at pictures of your new girlfriend and wondering, baby what did I ever do wrong…what did I ever do wrong so you could just leave me like that? I tried you know… I really try to let it all go.

love and loss 17.16 (via intimateorcheesy)

raven // staircase

voicemails (11/03/16)

cynthia go // Doubtful heart (via cynthiatingo)

Hopefully someday you’ll read this and realise how much I loved you // a.s (via excerptsofyou)

Saudade // a.s (via excerptsofyou)

excerpt from a book I’ll never write #41 // @loveactivist (via loveactivist)

Day 185 (via myonlywayoutofhere)

Clementine von Radics (via thelovejournals)

(via ifthenightcouldtalk)

Tenari Ioapo // I am yours and you are mine (via tenari-ioapo)

ma.c.a // Summer Leaves (via vomitingwords)

I love you, too.

Last night, after you left I lost the words to tell you I loved you back. I couldn’t say those simple words that were brewing out of my heart and reflecting out of my eyes. You said those three words, but I didn’t have the power to respond. I looked into your eyes and walked towards the door without a word, just a knot in my throat. “I love you” he says

but after he announced that he would be faraway from this place and long gone from me. He said it with simplicity, but his eyes told me a different story. His eyes told me, “I’m sorry. This wasn’t meant to end this way, but maybe one day.” He left to follow her path since she was the one that would make him happy, but the lies that followed from his lips and the stutters of his words reflected how unsure he was. But I should know,  If you love someone you go where ever they end up and do whatever it takes to be with them, and he did exactly that. but sadly, I would have done the same; only for him.

You probably wondered why I didn’t say those three words back; why I didn’t follow you and stopped you from leaving, why I didn’t kiss you like I once did when we went through a bad time, why during the last days I acted like you never meant a thing; but I was angry that you can leave just like that, you said the words I’ve been longing to hear after goodbye, I was angry that my heart was in pieces and I couldn’t talk to you about it. I was angry, but what I really did was cry, what I really did was break anything I could get my hands on and smash it against the wall; I wrote you letters that would end up in the trash, I paced back and forth in regret. Truth is, I loved you more than words can describe, more than I can show, but you will never know. Tonight I wished I would have said I loved you back, but we were both a little too late;

but I love you, I really do; each day a little more than yesterday.

– Topaz P. May 26th, 2017, 12:49 am