It’s Spoilers All The Way Down

“this is the hill you want to die on?” oh no i just love arguing. i fully intend to leave this hill once it gets boring. sorry for the confusion!

i fully intend to just grab a piece of wood and fuckin slide down this hill once im done

Vampires and the filtered lights.

okay but to be fair I don’t like capsaicin from a vegetable in my eyes either

You’re definitely not gonna like capsaicin from pepper spray in your mouth.

i would have suuuch a bad time if i lived in adventure time i would eat a hot dog and it would turn out to be a princess or whatever and i’d plead diplomatic immunity but the cop is a banana who has only ever been taught capital punishment by his war crime lesbian overlord and then i would get publicly guillotined in the candy kingdom and the last thing i ever heard before my head fell off would be a teen boy going “oh my björk that was hella wooble shambalooby!”

“I would be a cool adventurer and defeat dungeons with Finn” “I would be a powerful water princess and go out with other princesses” No you wouldn’t you would be berry person extra #35 and you would be on screen for 6 seconds before getting eaten by a giant bird for a background gag.

I like the total lack of solidarity displayed by French towards English when it comes to the word colonel. I mean they did borrow it from us and we did take the Italian colonnello and spell it coronel, but then we sneakily switched back to colonel pronounced co-lo-nel. We pointed English in a weird direction then turned tail. It’s like “debuted” pronounced day-byood… in French débuter is pronounced intuitively, with the T, and yes I know we don’t pronounce the t in début… and English went with that and kept the silent T in verb form, meanwhile French was like no, début with a silent T is just the right amount of silly but débuter with a silent T would be crazy, you’ve got to draw the line somewhere. And we sat idly by as English committed all the way to something we’d started

Sharing space is nothing new. Sharing bathrooms is nothing new. The reactionary outrage is so manufactured.

The parking lot? As in the gender neutral parking lot? As in a place where you have no privacy?

These are the bathrooms at the airport in question:

As you can see, complete privacy for all waste-expulsion activities. You only encounter other people around the sink.

This just proves a point that I’ve repeatedly noticed and it’s that every time a bathroom goes gender neutral it gets about a hundred percent safer.

I distinctly remember coming back from college to find that they’d converted the two of the bathrooms into all-gender restrooms. Among the changes were doors that went all the way up and down, a locking mechanism within the door, and actual door handles. Even the single-occupancy bathroom got a wall for extra privacy.

In contrast, I remember the women’s bathrooms in my old school. They were broken as shit. Some doors needed to be held by a friend, some doors you held with your foot from inside. The wheelchair-accessible bathroom straight up did not have a door at all. And yet we all pretended this was okay because hey, the womanly honor code. You think that shit would have flown if there were two gender-neutral restrooms?

All I’m saying is that if I were fleeing a predator or wanted to be absolutely sure I was private, which one would be the better option? The one that assumes that a “no penises allowed” sign will be enough? Or the one that actually, physically protects me?

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

for context:

“Beep Beep Bitch, You’re Gay!”

Updated the lesbian flag and added nonbinary, pan, ace, and aro for all your tacky LBGTQ+ barcode needs.

Hope yall  like my abomination

That last one is fucking moving istg

at last. the gaydar

I need this on a Spoonflower print, stat

A movie adaptation of a classic book, which is as loyal to the source material as possible in everything the source material mentioned, but also throws in whatever weird shit to the backgrounds of the scenes with the argument that well, Jane Austen never mentioned what these two specific characters are doing on the background of this scene while the protagonist and her love interest talk. So of course they're working on constructing a giant mecha furby.

I’m kind of losing my mind at this idea.

Like, there’s there’s the normal Jane Austen A-Plot going on the foreground, beautiful period sets and historical costumes, lovely spoken dialogue, and all the pining.

And in the background is the B-Plot… a silent movie of a completely different genre that no one in the A-Plot notices or even mentions. Frantic mech building, people running around with increasingly bizarre objects, at some point a bear runs by, exit stage right.

Culminating in Mr. Darcy walking dramatically to profess his love to Lizzie, as two giant mechs have a Pacific Rim battle in the background. A mechanical limb lands next to Lizzie and Darcy. Neither notice or flinch, aside from Darcy tenderly brushing Lizzie’s hair from her cheek because of the wind caused by the impact.

In a stinger during the credits it’s revealed that Mr. Bingley’s dog is an alien. No context is ever given.

This would absolutely kill as a Muppet movie, zero context would be needed for the B plot. It's Muppets.

The fact that the CEO of OceanGate said "at some point, safety is just pure waste" and took some billionaires down to the grave of 1500 people whose deaths were, in large part, due to the hubris and negligence of the ultra wealthy and is stuck there is just shit you can't make up

The fact that this guy's wife's great-great grandparents were Isidor and Ida Straus aka these people:

Just proves to me that the ghosts got them

Anyways, donate to sea watch and/or SOS Méditerranée to donate and aid in rescue efforts of refugee and migrant ships in the Mediterranean

being aware that your behavior is shaped by childhood experiences is so cringe every time i notice it im like ooo look at her can't even get over what someone told him when she was 7. grow up

recently learned about a horticultural technique called Espalier, it’s the funniest goddamn thing i’ve ever seen.

Espalier allows trees to be trained into 2-dimensions, by tying the branches to a flat surface as the tree grows. They literally flatten the tree. They make the tree flat. Flat tree!!!

Look at this. This is objectively hilarious:

And people get fancy about it. Look at this nonsense:

(the first one’s called a Belgian Fence, and can be used as an actual fence)

Espalier is actually a very useful technique for

Like. this is a legitimately practical gardening method. but it looks like they squished a tree between the pages of a book. just squashed it flat like a sad little dried flower! i could use these trees as a bookmark!!!

But yes, it is also a healthy and clever way to grow lots of fruit in small spaces, in climates they might not otherwise be suited for. I’m still going to make fun of it, but it honestly looks delightful and delicious.

Espalier!

Flat tree/flattery puns GO GO GO

Me every time Trump mentions DeSantis

best tweet on earth. Sublime

I’m sorry but this is literally fucking hilarious

western cat twitters are like “HoOman” and japanese cat twitters are like “Today I will consider the state of things.”

you forgot russian cat tumblr

Russian cats are right in the middle of the two