In his defence I also saw that necklace and fell in love immediately
why do i have to be on the frontline casting spells when i could be on the shoreline casting hooks
I haven’t seen this one yet.
This isn’t about fillings or candy bars, just the chocolate itself.
I cannot put into words how much I Fucking Loathe the fact that when you search something on youtube now it will randomly intersperse blocks of "people also watched" and "for you" into the results. That's not what I searched for, youtube. I typed in a search query because I wanted to see search results, not random unrelated garbage you have placed in my way apparently to either inconvenience me or force me to scroll further for actual results. I despise your wretched little games and every time I see it I can only instantly close the tab as I am overcome with the urge to burn something down.
"I despise your wretched little games" perfectly conveys how I feel about the entire algorithm/attention economy
They also refuse to actually show the parameters you searched for. If you sort by “upload date,” the first few videos might be more recent ones by upload date, but anything past that you’ll find a video that was uploaded five years ago, then five months ago, then three years ago, etc, which—NO! That’s NOT WHAT I ASKED FOR!! PUT THEM IN ORDER!!!
Also sometimes the “people also watched” bullcrap will not only be entirely unrelated, it will also be videos with violent, sometimes outright triggering thumbnails. I’ve gotten some AWFUL unrelated video thumbnails just when searching for video game music videos.
This is precisely why I love conventions
anyway, here’s one of the most iconic moments in cinematic history
shrek 2 was a fucking masterpiece
So Universal Pictures may have just intentionally over-pruned all of the city owned trees in front of their LA corporate office in an effort to fuck with the WGA/SAG-AFTRA picketers during what is predicted to be the hottest week of the year so far:
And the LA City Controller is looking into it:
Once again it looks like it's time for:
the "came back wrong" trope except like... they didnt. like this mad scientists wife died, and so he studied necromancy, brought her back, and she came back and it all worked. like she came back exactly the same as she was before with literally no difference. but the scientist guy is like "oh no... what have i done.... shes Different now!!!! she came back Wrong!!!!" and shes just like. chilling. reading a book. cooking dinner. shes just so so normal but in the guys mind hes like "oh shes soooo weird" but shes just normal
Peer reviewed tags from @somanyofthekids
NO its a JOKE and YOU DONT GET IT. ITS NOT THAT DEEP
While she was dead he put his memory of her on such a high pedestal that she could never live up to it alive
alternatively‚ she came back perfectly fine but he thinks she came back wrong‚ because the tragic reality is that he never actually knew his wife
im going INSANE thats MY POST.
It's your post but the journey to posting it changed it to such a degree that even its closest intimacies are now foreign to you. Sorry dude.
it's come to my attention that a lot of people don't know about bluemaxima's flashpoint and genuinely think they'll never be able to play their favorite 00s internet games ever again so i just want to remind everyone that flashpoint is a huge internet flash game preservation project that allows you to play just about any internet flash game/animation despite the death of flash. if they've got it in their database (and they probably do) you can play it. go forth and drink in the 00s nostalgia
even if you think there's no way they'll have the game u want. they probably do anyway. when i first downloaded flashpoint i thought for sure theres no way they will have the obscure flash game i played for hours as a kid that was only even available on the internet for like 2 months in 2006. but you know what. they had it. seriously, download flashpoint
imagine getting this review
I guarantee that Monica at the front desk has not been able to live this review down and her coworkers absolutely bring it up regularly.
If I were Monica I'd print this review out and frame it
After shoving Hansel in the oven, the witch turns to Gretel - who is currently fending the witch off with a gingerbread chair - and says:
“I can’t believe you thought a trail of breadcrumbs would save you. I mean, honestly, this is a forest! It’s full of animals. Honestly, the very idea that a dumb shit like you thought you could get the better of me is absurd.”
Gretel hits her in the face with said chair. To be fair to the witch, she takes the chairshot like a champ.
“Ow!”
“Did you know,” says Gretel, “that crows are capable of facial recognition?”
“Eh?” Says the witch, clambering to her feet and pulling a candy cane sledgehammer off the wall. “What’s that got to do with anything?”
“Not only that,” Gretel continues, “but they can remember both friends and enemies. And they’ll often follow people they remember as friends.”
The two fence with their sugared weapons for a moment, before the witch knocks the chair out of Gretel’s hands.
“Enough with the bird facts! Honestly, this whole attempted escape has been utter clownshoes. Get in the fucking oven!”
She seizes Gretel by the collar. Gretel immediately sandbags, letting her whole body go limp. This eminently practical defense forces the witch to try and deadlift her. Which is hard, as the witch often skips leg day.
“For example,” Gretel says, as the witch struggles and grunts, “if you feed crows a lot of breadcrumbs, they’ll probably start to see you as a friend and follow you in the hope of more food.”
The witch stops. Outside, she hears the thunder of wings.
“They’ll even bring you shiny things they find as presents!” Says Gretel, as a corner of the gingerbread ceiling is suddenly cut away by a large crow with a knife in its mouth.
“Oh shitballs.” Says the witch, as the crows descend. “I hope you know this is a great unkindness.”
“Technically,” Says Gretel, “It’s a murder.”
The Ring: If I had a quarter for every time a hobbit picked me up, I’d have two quarters. The Ring: Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.
Of all the bearers of Sauron’s ring, 4 of them were hobbits.
I was wrong. It’s 5. Not 4
The lineage of ring bearers is as follows.
- Sauron.
- Isildur
- Deagol
- Sméagol
- Bilbo
- Frodo
- Samwise
I love how Deagol counts as a ring bearer even though he had it in his possession for all of like five seconds
He held it for the rest of of his life!
[Image description: Tweet by @banalplay saying “but something happened then that the ring did not intend. it was picked up by the most unlikely creature imaginable: a hobbit, the same fuckin thing that just had it for like 500 years.” End Image Description.] Link to original here. Otherwise reblogging for the final rb there, which made me cackle.
From the ring’s perspective:
1. Home, the finger of my creator and other self.
2. Well, I don’t like it but I can work with this. Cause some trouble, get some revenge, find my way home, this is fine.
3. What the fuck is you?
4. Right personality, wrong species, I don’t know what you are but I hate you and I don’t know why you’re so resistant to my powers.
5. NO NO NO there are goblins everywhere how did I find another one of THESE horrible things. This one’s even more resistant than the last one and also disgustingly nice. I suffer.
6. Listen, I’ll cooperate, just get me the fuck out of this hellhole full of small cheerful people my power doesn’t work on properly. No, not like that. I hate you. Please stop.
7. FUCK
8. (Frodo again) I still hate you with every molecule of my mortal form but at least you’re not number seven. Think I’m starting to get through finally.
9. (Smeagol again) YES it’s you I actually missed you now get me back to the Master and NO FUCK NO I HATE YOOOOUUUUU…. *fzt*
pmmeyourrenamon
you CHAIN The One Ring?! you chain it like the prisoner?! oh! OH! trauma! deep psychological trauma for hobbits for One Thousand Years!
Heh. :)
my favorite calvin and hobbes comic is the one where his dad just rolls up and casually destroys his entire night by pointing out some neat trivia about record players
phoenixavalon
#his expression in the last panel is black comic gold #the best part is that his dad was trying to be nice
are you sure. are you sure calvin’s dad is not a seasoned elder trickster. are you sure this isn’t the exact outcome he was hoping for
backdropkid
ok but that’s actually canon
You forgot this one
*looks pointedly at ETD*
Calvin’s dad is basically a Calvin who has learned that he can’t get away with running outside naked or throwing snowballs at neighborhood girls, but he is still precisely the same little shit under the thin veneer of civilization.
@lyricwritesprose Calvin and Hobbes has been one of my favorite things since I could read and Calvin’s dad one of my favorite characters, but that last comment blew my mind wide open. Of course that’s what he is. Of course.
one of the most subtly delightful things about calvin and hobbes is that you can SEE that calvin is his parents’ kid: his dad is so playful and imaginative, and his mom has a heck of a temper and a good sense of what’s right and wrong. calvin is a smart, passionate, imaginative kid who gets really upset when he thinks things are stupid or unfair. he drives his parents crazy sometimes because he’s a kid. but they were probably a lot like calvin themselves, when they were little.
bird-says-be-gay-do-crimes
My favorite goddamn comic
Also didn’t Calvin make a comment once that apparently his grandma said his mother was just as much of a troublemaker as he is
use, and i cannot stress this enough, thriftbooks
if thriftbooks doesn’t have what you’re looking for, especially if you’re looking for it used/cheap, alternatives include betterworldbooks and discoverbooks.
Other tips for cheaper books is checking amazon and scrolling down to the “buy used” or “other sellers” section and then checking to see if those sellers have storerfonts off of amazon.
There is also a good chance that you might have a local, indie book store that likely also has a used book section! Indiebound might help you find those book stores!
Also, check out your local library, sometimes, they have a for sale section or might have certain times of the year where they do massive used book (dvd, cd, etc) sales to fundraise!
(It’s also worth checking directly from an author’s or publisher’s page and seeing if they have other places they sell their books. I know this is about cheaper/used books, since some of y’all aren’t built for piracy or the library, but also if you want to dodge supporting amazon AND want to more directly support artists you support, there’s a good chance they might have alternate ways to buy the books!)
I use thriftbooks a lot, it's so good!
as someone who works in an independent bookstore, alibris is the best for supporting yr local bookstore! abebooks is now owned by amazon. thriftbooks is great also just doesn’t usually support independent stores.
When you see something sensible; Reblog it. :)
Chris Pine refuses to answer the question “Would you swipe left or right for Anna Kendrick on Tinder?” and instead gives this response
the clip in the link took me from having kind of a standard, pretty-celebrity crush on Chris Pine to being like “holy shit, I think I would genuinely and in a non-horny fashion like this guy if I knew him in person.“ I mean, he takes a super fucking inappropriate question, gives it the complete lack of acknowledgement it deserves, and says something so intelligent and thoughtful instead of whatever weird answer he was expected to give that nobody even remembers what the original terrible question was by the time he’s done talking.
If Chris Pine ever stops being a class act, please nobody tell me, my heart can’t handle it.
Because of the above comment, I went and listened to the clip as well, and I think it’s worth sticking the transcription of the whole here, because it’s even more in-depth than what the gifs show– including the stall time Pine has and the absolute English-major vibes of pulling complete paragraphs out of one’s pocket when faced with awkward questions, culminating with the absolute finesse of “So anyway, yeah”:
James Corden: Chris. Would you swipe left or right on Tinder, if Anna came up on Tinder? Would you swipe left or right?
(crosstalk) Anna Kendrick: Say something– say something that’s less of a bummer.
Chris Pine: Um, I think–
(crosstalk) Corden: Left or right?
(crosstalk) Kendrick: Answer the question, Chris.
Pine: I think that, uh–
Corden: Chris Pine doesn’t need Tinder. That’s what we’re all realizing. He just steps out– life is Tinder for Chris Pine. He literally steps out of his door into a virtual Tinder. That’s every day.
Pine: Um. You know, I think– I think, obviously we tell each other stories in life, and, as storytellers, that’s what we do. We tell each other stories so we can understand the world better, and there’s catharsis, and we understand the models of what a hero could be, and what the hero’s journey as a human being is all about.
But of course, I think sometimes, too, those stories too can be very prohibitive, confining, and this idea that we – especially in Western culture, in Western literature, Tristan and Isolde, Romeo and Juliet – there’s some kind of all-encompassing, burning passionate love that will never die out unless you both die. It’s so depressing and not real.
And that these two people– the Prince living out this storybook life all the time in a completely non-relational manner with the woman that he’s apparently in love with– I think it’s very telling that in this relationship, there’s not one conversation until the last moment when they break up.
Kendrick: It’s just chasing and [indistinct]
(crosstalk) Pine: If you look at the film, it’s just these little eighth-page things, looking up, gazing fervently at one another– it doesn’t mean anything. And I think the beautiful thing about it is, here’s a woman that chooses to get out of the story, of Romeo and Juliet, of Tristan and Isolde– it’s like, “check it out, I don’t want you. ‘Cause you’re lame. And you don’t listen to me, and–”
But actually, in that final moment, he does listen, and I think it’s very telling for the Prince, that he says, “Is this what you want?”– he’s actually, he’s being very respectful, the boundaries are very clear. Whereas I think what we’re–
Kendrick: It’s the first time he asks anyone a question.
Pine: Yeah! But I think there’s this – there’s this trope in – in literature that somehow we’re not whole unless we have another? Which I don’t think is corr– I– personally, for me, I think it’s not fair to the uniqueness and wonderfulness of the individual; that we can complement one another greatly, but we’re not the source of each other’s happiness. Especially if you don’t even know who the hell you’re talking to.
So anyway, yeah.
found a jean bustier at the thrift store. the justier
I found my jean jacket jress so now the joutfit is complete
that actually looks awesome though
er
jawesome, I suppose
Jeriffic!
Yeah my name is Tim, short for OpTIMus Prime
[id: tags saying "wait wait i wanna know where they plan on using their full name, why'd you cut it off"]
answer: THEIR WEDDING.
I can't describe to you the emotion I would feel if I was hanging out with my friend Tim and he was like "hey we've been friends for a while now I want to show you something," and he hands me his driver's license, upon which I read "Optimus Prime Jones"