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K-pop and Manhwa stan

@happycheesecakedelusion

Why is the McDonalds Ice Cream Machine always broken? Who broke it in the first place?

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A friend of mine worked at McDonalds for almost a year, and of the 300ish days he worked there, about 250 it was broken. The machines are prone to breaking not so much because they are sensitive to alignments and such, but because of the human cost of keeping them operating.

The common McCream Supreme Machine is based on a prototype from 1940s, when rules for food prep were very different. The prototype, known by the Los Alamos McDevelopment Team as the "Demon McCream-core" was pretty dangerous, using numerous blades and grinders to crush ice for future creaming. About ten of the lab's fifteen employees were at various times injured, some severely, by the Demon McCream-core. Team leader Ronald McDoppenheimer was adamant though that the machine be perfected.

Working around the clock, most of the injured employees got their hair caught in the machine at some point. For the final tuning before the machine was registered for reproduction and shipping, McDoppenheimer set the device's systems without knowing that it did in fact contain almost a pound of hair at the time. Thus to maintain the machines, they demand a pound of hair from (usually) the most recent hire at any given McDonalds.

Sadly this practice continues to this day, so the machine can be delayed for some time when a new hire is unwilling to perform the sacrifice. McDoppenheimer is said to have remained haunted by the development till his dying day, commenting:

“We knew that the fast food industry would not be the same. A few people laughed, a few people cried. Most people were silent. I remembered a line from The Grimace, in his first commercial appearance: 'Now I am become the McCream Supreme, destroyer of hairstyles.' I suppose we all thought that, one way or another.”

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There's a lot of speculation that Taylor will announce 1989 TV at the Detroit show and am I the only one who doesn't really want that to happen? I understand that she wants to own her albums as soon as possible but I also want Speak Now to get its own moment. Not necessarily a massive era, but I don't want another album to be announced before it's even released.

When Tina Turner left her first husband - who was also her boss, captor, and brutal tormentor - she snuck out of their Dallas hotel room with a single thought in her mind: "The way out is through the door." From there she fled across the midnight freeway, semi-trucks careening past her, with 36 cents and a Mobil gas card in her pocket. As soon as she decided to walk out that door, she owned nothing else. When she filed for divorce, she made an unusual request. She didn't want anything: not the song rights, not the cars, not the houses, not the money. All she wanted was the stage name he gave her - Tina - and her married name - Turner. This was the name by which the world had come to know her, and keeping it was her only chance to salvage her career. Things could have gone a lot of ways from there. She could have labored in obscurity for decades, maybe making records on small labels to be prized by vinyl connoisseurs in Portland. She could have stayed in Vegas, where she first went to get her chops back up, and worked as a nostalgia act. And, of course, given what she had been through, she might have … not made it. What happened instead is that Tina Turner became the biggest global rock star of the 80s. I'm old enough to barely remember this, but if you aren't, it was like this: The Rolling Stones would headline a stadium one day, and the next day it would be Tina Turner. A middle-aged Black woman - she became a rock star at 42! - sitting atop the 1980s like it was her throne. She managed this because of whatever rare stuff she was made of (this is a woman whose label gave her two weeks to record her solo debut, Private Dancer, which went five times platinum); because she decided to speak publicly about her abusive marriage and forge her own identity, and in doing so give hope and courage to countless women; and also because - in a perhaps unlikely twist for a girl from Nutbush, Tennessee - she had her practice of Soka Gakkai Nichiren Buddhism, to which she credited her survival. She remained devout until the end. Tina's second marriage - to her, her only marriage - was to Edwin Bach, a Swiss music executive 16 years her junior. Of him, she said, "Erwin, who is a force of nature in his own right, has never been the least bit intimidated by my career, my talents, or my fame." In 2016, after a barrage of health problems, Tina's kidneys began to fail. A Swiss citizen by then, she had started preparing for assisted suicide when her husband stepped in. According to Tina, he said, "He didn't want another woman, or another life." He gave her one of his kidneys, buying her the remainder of her time on this earth and perhaps closing a cycle which took her from a man who inflicted injury upon her to a man willing to inflict injury upon himself to save her from harm. Born into a share-cropping family as Anna Mae Bullock in 1939, she died Tina Turner in a palatial Swiss estate: the queen of rock 'n roll; a storm of a performer with a wildcat-fierce voice; a dancer of visceral, spine-tingling potency and ability; a beauty for the ages; a survivor of terrible abuse and an advocate for others in similar situations; an author and actress; a devout Buddhist; a wife and mother; a human being of rare talent and perseverance who, through her transcendent brilliance, became a legend.

Credit: Will Stenberg

i’m going to need the crowds to scream “taylor, you’ll be fine” as loud as humanly possible next weekend, bringing her some much-needed comfort and making her feel immensely loved and cared for in the process

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GENSHIN IMPACT ꒰ sumeru ꒱

none of the works in this rec list belongs to me. all due credits go to the respective authors. contains mature content, aimed for +18 audiences. reader discretion is advised. most of these works are f! or afab! reader. ALSO! minors + blank + ageless blogs will be blocked. 

last updated: feb. 14, '23

٤ · VARIOUS

PUSSY P♡WER. ──── cyno, al-haitham, tighnari

⌜ ୨୧ ⌟ They only have one goal before you leave Sumeru for another land, and that is to satiate their fantasies about your cunt.

  • cw. afab!reader. tease!reader. traveler!reader not pertaining to the twins in game. i got a biiit carried away with cyno’s part (i mean, it’s cyno my number one slut). nonetheless, please enjoy!

realistic courting. ──── cyno, tighnari

⌜ ୨୧ ⌟ how they court you/act around you based off of the research i did on their animal counterparts

  • cw. mostly fluff, g/n reader

roommates. ──── al haitham, kaveh

  • cw. smut, roommates, domestic fluff, wall sex, bath sex, rough sex, fingering, cockwarming, fingerwarming, grinding, exhibitionism, coming in pants, handjob
  • afab reader, threesome, double penetration, creampie, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, belly bulge, squirting

untitled. ──── al haitham, kaveh

  • not sfw, mdni, reader and kaveh are in a relationship, kaveh is kind of getting cucked. afab reader, no pronouns. 

٤ · AL HAITHAM

boys who wait. ──── 0.8k

⌜ ୨୧ ⌟ giving you the gift of life is exactly what he needs to get out of working so much.

  • cw. fem!reader, explicit sm.ut, breeding, unprotected sex, implied established relationships. kinda soft (don’t perceive me), mating press, full body orgasm, use of “pretty girl” and “mommy”, implied multiple rounds.

jealous. ──── 1k

⌜ ୨୧ ⌟ after spending too much time with your best friend Kaveh, Alhaitham gets jealous.

  • cw. fem!reader. mean rough jealous sex, dumbification, creampies, low-key possessive Alhaitham, mentions of breasts and nipples, degradation: slut, whore. petnames: baby, good girl.

just know, I mean it. ──── 1.1k + ft.kaveh!

  • cw. fem!reader. genshin 3.2 archon quest spoilers, cheating (by reader), unprotected sex, dumbification, exhibition, semi-public sex, vouyerism, pet name (pretty girl), multiple orgasms, creampie.

maybe we’re a forest fire. ──── 1k+

⌜ ୨୧ ⌟ he comforts you when you overthink on certain aspects of your relationship.

  • cw. gn!reader, hurt/comfort fic, reader has a pyro vision, slightly suggestive at the end if you squint

only fools fall for you. ──── 8.1k

⌜ ୨୧ ⌟ some feelings came to haunt you after ten years since the last time you saw him.

  • cw. alhaitham x fem!reader. rivals / enemies to lover ish, slow burn, reader and alhaitham are in their middle twenties, reader has a pyro vision and is also a dancer and actress, reader is also the daughter of a genshin character, angst and a bit of fluff (happy ending of course but they're idiots in love).

sorry to interrupt. ──── 2k + ft. past! kaveh x reader

⌜ ୨୧ ⌟ hey siri, how do you apologize to your ex boyfriend for fucking his roommate?

  • cw. one night stand! alhaitham, ex boyfriend! kaveh, cunnilingus, fingering, handjobs, unprotected sex, slight size kink, creampie, kaveh walking in on y’all rip
  • cw. not sfw, minors dni. squirting, alhaitham bullies reader a bit. reader is afab with no pronouns used.
  • cw. modern au. gamer!alhaitham, fem!reader, mild enemies to lovers, fluff

the art of war. ──── 3.2k

⌜ ୨୧ ⌟ seeing that you came in second for your class ranks yet again after getting the second-highest score on your last exam within the Haravatat Darshan, you decided to ask your enemy for help. after all, you'll do anything to win this war against him.

  • cw. afab!reader with no set pronouns, hate sex, heavy degradation, humiliation kink, rivals to lovers?, masturbation, blowjob,  fingering, dacryphilia, doggy-style, slight anal, facial, cock-warming, semi-public sex, library sex, all characters are 21+
  • cw. not sfw, minors dni. squirting, alhaitham bullies reader a bit. reader is afab with no pronouns used.

٤ · CYNO

⌜ ୨୧ ⌟ your boyfriend agrees to letting you cockwarm while you work on your research papers, unbeknownst to you —- you’re driving him insane. 

  • cw. fem!reader, cockwarming, vaginal penetration, cervix fucking, breeding, biting, size kink.

dangerous games. ──── 3.3k

⌜ ୨୧ ⌟ your boyfriend finally comes home after being gone weeks for mahamatra duties and finds himself in a rather difficult position when you make it your goal to cause him to lose control while finishing up his mission report.

  • cw. fem!reader, oral (f->m, m->f), brief manhandling, reader teasing cyno, pussy drunk!cyno.
  • cw. pre-relationship; written before release:); fluff? slightly suggestive
  • cw. afab!reader, cunnilingus, light fingering, kinda fab

٤ · KAVEH

  • cw. fem reader, reader is in lingerie (and it’s stays on hehe), soft sex, minor manhandling, lots of praise, creampie

٤ · TIGHNARI

  • cw. rough-dom!tighnari and sub!fem anatomy/pronouns reader. aphrodisiac usage (reader didn't know it was an aphrodisiac she gave tighnari), overstimulation, a lot of cum (unsafe sex 👎), biting, mating press, friends to lovers 🥵🥵, fingering/oral, also mentions of venti because he is your mondstat friend but he is wild
  • cw. a little ooc, afab reader (gender neutral prounouns), feral!dom!Tighnari x bunny!sub!reader, biting (hard enough to draw blood), mating press, cum. predator and prey themes, oral(reader receiving), unprotected sex, breeding (?)

bubble pop electric. ──── 5.5k

⌜ ୨୧ ⌟ tighnari really should have known better than to bring you up to the jungle to help him remap a flooded path--you always seemed to let the curiosity get the best of you and this time was no different than the rest. 

  • cw. fem!reader, aphrodisiacs, biting (tighnari bites hard enough to draw blood, not much tho), switch!tighnari, switch!reader, breeding, unprotected sex, thigh riding, dubcon (aphrodisiacs involved), implied marathon sex

⌜ ୨୧ ⌟ tighnari is so glad he’s got you to help him through his heat cycle. 

  • cw. somnophilia, f!reader, heat cycle mentioned, pussy jobs, previous consent mentioned, he’s a little teasing ? maybe ? 

honey-coated poison. ──── 2.9k

⌜ ୨୧ ⌟ tighnari has enjoyed your return to sumeru, but when he thought a fatui agent was you, he gets dosed in their new weapon—leaving him helplessly horny and desperate.

  • cw. afab!reader with no set pronouns, sex pollen, tighnari gets drugged (not by reader), tighnari has a knot, aphrodisiacs, rough sex, fingering, biting, marking, creampie
  • cw. tighnari x fem!reader. mild description of ptsd symptoms & injuries; mild nudity (nothing mentioned); a couple of suggestive parts? it's pg-13 really; hurt & comfort.

oxytocin. ──── 2.4k

  • cw. fem!reader, swearing, smut, praise, sub!tighnari, dacryphilia, choking, breeding, oral (f ⇾ m), begging, creampie, overstim, cum swallowing, porn no plot

⌜ ୨୧ ⌟ tighnari doesn’t think anything will come close to how you feel against him, but he’ll still try.

  • cw. female genitals mentioned but not present, pillow humping, very needy tighnari
  • cw. knotting

Me, before reading ACOSF: Who is this Gwyn person and why is half the fandom shipping her with Azriel???

Me, after reading ACOSF & the Azriel bonus chapter: I have accepted this ship as my Lord and Saviour no other ship is above them I will live and breathe them for the rest of my existence

Gwynriel headcanons that must become CANON in the next acotar book

(please skitter away if you hate this ship, thank you :D)

  • A flashback to Azriel’s POV when he rescued Gwyn from Sangravah
  • A flashback to Azriel’s POV when he found out that Gwyn had been thrown into the Blood Rite
  • More Valkyries training scenes with trainers Az and Cass!!!
  • Spy missions with our spy master Azriel feat. his spy apprentice Gwyn
  • Detailed depictions scattered throughout the 900-page novel (yes, it better be 900 pages long to compensate for the toll this wait is taking on our mental health or else i am suing) on the evolving relationship between Azriel and Gwyn (trainer/trainee > friends > more than friends > confidants > what are we? > lovers > and finally, mates)
  • Azriel’s shadows playing cupid for their extremely clueless master
  • Azriel lets Gwyn take her time in exploring her sexuality and is extremely respectful and sweet and patient throughout her trauma healing journey (trainer Az in the pit and in bed OK BYE)
  • Badass Carynthian and Valkyrie Gwyn saving Azriel during a mission or in a battlefield
  • Gwyn feels the first tug of the mating bond before Azriel does and she keeps it a secret because she knows of Az’s unresolved feelings for Mor/Elain (MISS SARAH PLS GIVE ME ANGST)
  • Gwyn showing Azriel that he is more than worthy of love by constantly peppering him with hugs and kisses and words of affirmation because let’s face it, Az’s main love languages are probably touch and words of affirmation
  • A deeply emotional scene of Azriel finding out that Gwyn (kind, brave, loving, loyal, and beautiful Gwyn!!!!) is who the cauldron has chosen for him after centuries worth of waiting and yearning (I need this alone to be at least 5 pages long)
  • Gwyn falls first but Azriel falls HARDER

Nyx: Uncle Az, why have you forbade me from entering the delicious chamber?

Cassian and Gwyn, holding back laughter:

Nesta, shaking her head: 

Azriel: It’s called an oven and you will die.

Nyx, puffs up little chest: I am strong, Uncle. 

the more you go down the list of who this part might be comparing nesta to, the more disturbing it gets.

to mor? because fuck nesta for being cold when mor endured worse and is (debatably) nice? ignoring the fact she had 500 years to deal with her shit while nesta is fresh out of poverty? not to mention how this book is supposedly about mental health yet sets ridiculous standards for the traumatized and reinforces the idea of there only being one acceptable way to have trauma.

to eris? because they both could have done something? feyre can't cook. so riddle me this, who the fuck was cooking? not feyre. feyre was out hunting all the time. so who did the housework? not feyre. who chops their wood? not. feyre.

to mor's family? because what? being cold equates to literal torture? fuck rhysand, i feel like i don't say that enough. fuck him. needless to say the passage compares feyre and mor to act like rhysand has valid reasons for being just a huge fucking dick. 'where her failings were concerned' shut up. she's not your goddamn mother. she, a child, had no responsibility to parent another child.

acting like he has any right to be angry at anyone on feyre's behalf. like he was not the origin of her sexual trauma, like he didn't assist in amarantha traumatizing her. take a fucking backseat, rhysand, and think about what you did.

Engulfed In Your Flames

Chapter 3: Nesta

TW: Depression and Suicidal Thoughts

What?” Cassian exploded. “You can’t be serious.” 

“You all told me it was either that or the House. Well, I choose the human lands.” Nesta barely spared Cassian a glance. She was too filled with anger and betrayal to bother. She noticed his red siphons glow in anger out of the corner of her eye, but she paid no attention to it. 

I have no regrets in my life, but this. That we did not have time. That I did not have time with you, Nesta. I will find you again in the next world—the next life. And we will have that time. I promise.

Nesta blocked out those memories of her and Cassian on the battlefield, of his empty words and promises and their only kiss. She blocked them and shoved them deep in the cobwebs of her mind where she hoped they would never resurface and see the light of day. She turned to Feyre, who was unnaturally still and quiet, completely at odds with the stern and determined High Lady she had been trying to be mere moments ago. Her eyes were filled with unshed tears. Nesta couldn’t find it in herself to care, not after they pulled this phony and pathetic intervention