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@happinesswithasideofconverse

History and American Studies //19//Boston// from 447.3 to 14// 1 Timothy 4:12

“I was leaving my apartment one day and someone I’ve known for a long time, my mom’s age, said to me, ‘Oh, wow, look at you!’, I tried to explain [I had lost weight for a role] and she goes, ‘No! I want to know what you’re doing, you look great!’ I got into the car with my mom and said, “That is why the problem exists.” Lily about her “To The Bone” Role.

I'm having a tough day at work today. It's been hard since day one. My first day my bike was hit by a car on my way in, and I was late another day because I couldnt peddle fast enough. And today I was yelled at for dress code... I feel like I'm not cut out for this job. I've been trying so hard to stay here at this job and I feel like I havent been good enough or made to feel welcome.

I decided I am going to tell my therapist about my trust issues. I am going to tell him I feel like I can't be honest with anyone for fear of disappointing them. I try to be nice and when I get caught lying I look like a bad person. There are some people I feel more comfortable with than others and I can talk more openly about my feelings, but sometimes that comes off as dishonest. I don't know how to fix it. There are people I still feel uneasy around but I shouldn't, but I do anyway and it makes me look bad because I don't trust them or seem like it's an argument. I don't feel like I should be forced to be honest with people I don't trust.