“this meeting could have been an email” but instead it’s “this video tutorial could have been a post with less than a hundred words”
drunkwario-deactivated20210407
Anon hate from the late 1800’s.
What I love most about this is that this person was SO INCENSED at the recipient that they couldn’t even wait the days/weeks it would take for the mail to go through. No, they had to say “FUCK YOU” as soon as fucking possible and, AND, let the recipient that they were not done with the fuck you, nay, this was merely the first volley in what would undoubtably be a dressing down of Biblical proportions.
i will gleefully reblog this every time i see it
oh hey its the post i based this off of
today i stubbed my tow very hard against my dressor but didn't feel anything #numb🤘
i spelled dresser wrong are you serious
And toe
wait what
this is so embarrassing
Posts that have 10k to me
hey now
you’re a rock star
get your game on
Fantastic feature guys!
Fix this by turning "show upload progress" off in Account Settings 👍
Gotta love the tumblr time honored tradition of telling each other how to turn off fucking annoying updates 🤝🏽✨
Anonymous asked:
Is he eepy?
The eepiest eeper to have ever eeped
the gimmick blogs are like tumblr’s rogue gallery. yes we’ve got some heroes, yes we’ve got some villains, but more importantly if you look over here you will see some freak who devotes all their time to counting the number of “t’s” in a post
T Count: 15
Letter Count: 198
Your T Percentage: 7.58%
Average T Percentage: 6.95%
You used the letter T 1.09 times as much as average!
YOU EXIST???
Sometimes you create a guy and it turns out they already exist
For years, I’ve been fascinated by magnetism. You can just get these special rocks and click them together and then a whole bunch of free energy comes out. It’s free! And you probably get way, way too much. Wait, it’s not magnetism? Hoo boy this is going to be hard to explain to the condo board.
In recent years, the Japanese have leveraged the principles of magnetism to make a train that goes really fast. Like, really fast. Six hundred and three kilometers an hour fast, also known as “eat shit, passenger airliners.” It turns out that the big downer for trains is friction, and if you can instead hover the train above the tracks with magnets, you can shoot that thing like a railgun and nobody can stop you.
Further, the Japanese rail folks swear up and down that you can ride this train, right now, if you show up at the one station it goes to, and pay a bunch of money, and then win a sort of mini-lottery to be allowed to board it. And the weather co-operates. It’ll be ready by 2027, they explain quickly and then distract you from your questions by showing you some footage of them driving the fucking thing so hard that it has to be sprayed down constantly with water just so the air around it doesn’t spontaneously combust out of jealousy.
One of the things they had to solve is the tunnel boom effect. When you go through a tunnel as fast as this fucking thing does, the air you displace pops out on either side of you and out the back of the tunnel like a gunshot. A lot of complicated aerodynamics is required so that the train doesn’t fall off the “tracks” that it hovers over, and they celebrated solving this problem by making it go even faster. The resulting sonic boom is so loud and so dramatic that some farmers were complaining it would make their nearby cows explode. So they decided to go into the tunnels slower, more politely. That’s not how I’d do things. I’d turn it up even more out of spite. Clearly their boss has been feeling a lot of heat (or maybe a lot of meat) from Big Beef.
All this is to say: magnets! They’re great. In fact, they’re so great, that I’ve decided to leverage this exciting new technology in my own transportation. Namely, I bought a bunch of those cool welding magnets from Princess Auto and are using them to hold the driver’s door onto my Volare, rather than fix the hinges. It doesn’t even rattle as bad as it used to! Truly the wave of the future.
Concept: a woman is holding hands with a robot, and the woman is wearing a shirt that says "I like my women like I like my keyboards" on the front and "mechanical" on the back, over an exploded view of a cherry mx brown keyswitch.
The robot's shirt says "flesh lover" in the old recaptcha distorted text style. The back has "select all the squares with the cutest girl" and a 3x3 montage of photos of the woman currently holding her right hand.
obligatory Gee, I sure wish robots were shoving their lesbianism down MY throat!
"But WHY won't you cut all the parts that I don't like out of your art, so that I, a bigot who hates what you are, can enjoy what you produce in selfish unenlightened comfort, in between bouts of crusading for people like you to be forced to cut all the parts that I don't like out of yourself? How MEAN."
The aliens are gonna be so confused when humans first board their ships and start doing this, and by GOD I hope at least one of them is going to have a camera when it happens.
Need head from a broad with acid reflux. Make it sizzle princess
how does tumblr think they can possibly police the content on this website
ROUND 1, MATCH 17
NO MAGIC, POWERS, OR WEAPONS
I spent far too long on this
Thank you for the meme
yeah im “transitioning” *dissolves into tiny pieces as i click to the next slide*
Is there a transfem version?!?
ask and ye shall receive
Nonbinary version?
enjoy 💛🤍💜🖤
like status: sick 😎
“French is such a beautiful, romantic language.”
“Cat, I farted.”
No no no it's worse because it's a hard t at the end. Chat as in cat has a silent t. Chat with a hard t at the end is slang for pussy. It's "pussy, I farted". Or in other words ChatGPT is a queef.
you know what’s a trope that never gets tired is when theyre bouncing around in the plot and suddenly an important name crops up- it’s blorbo bleebus. and some dude is like who the hell is blorbo bleebus. and we immediately cut to our new friend blorbo bleebus pulling the most absolutely buckwild shit you’ve ever seen
enhanced edition of this trope is when they cut to blorbo bleebus doing something entirely contradictory to how they were just introduced, like “i know a professional, someone discreet who can handle things quietly” cut to blorbo bleebus in the wildest fucking bar brawl you’ve ever seen, screaming their own name and stopping to down shots while still holding some dude in a headlock
We need a Dracula movie where they do this with Van Helsing.
you, reading this. you're a creature now. reblog to creature your followers
get creatured idiot
oh thank fuck i thought i was never gonna get creatured
Rating Non-Disney Animated Horse Designs
I’m back by popular demand/well not really but my optimism’s grand
A sequel to my Disney horse Rating post for all the other random non-Disney horses. Dreamworks, Bluesky, random cartoons, anything I could find. Featuring: Altivo, Spirit, some Barbie horses, and a few abominations.
Horse (Sing)
6/10 I don’t hate it and I feel like I should because it’s really hard to anthropomorphize horses that much without making them into the stuff of nightmares.
Shadowfax (The Lord of the Rings)
5/10 There’s nothing WRONG with him per se, but it’s SHADOWFAX. Lord of all horses. He should wow me, and he doesn’t. Check out Gandalf’s weird sock-boots though.
Hervé (Barbie as the Princess and the Pauper)
-6/10 Horses’ mouths don’t look like that. Horses’ mouths should not look like that. This thing wants to eat human flesh but can’t because it has two solid curved huge teeth with no physical relationship with its jaw. Also this horse has the beginnings of male-pattern baldness.
Princess Brietta (Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus)
1/10 Her eyes are flat like they’ve been painted onto her socketless skull. And there’s something very off-putting about this shade of pink.
Beauty, Merry Legs, Ginger (Black Beauty)
4/10 Ginger isn’t ginger. That is not a sorrel horse. There’s ONE requirement. Beauty’s the best of the three which is I guess what counts.
Hans, Klaus and Greta (Ferdinand)
2/10 I hate them so much. The core design isn’t that bad but the way they move and pose is. No horse should make that face. The one on the left is stretched putty.
The Grand Chawhee (All Dogs Go to Heaven)
I know what you’re thinking– “isn’t that a mule or a donkey of some sort?” No. He’s a racehorse. Maybe a thoroughbred. And it’s his birthday so the other horses let him win.
9/10
Stella (All Dogs Go to Heaven)
1/10 She gets one point for being nice to Chawhee. But she’s clearly some sort of alien giraffe hybrid.
Odette’s horse (Swan Princess)
7/10 Just a nice little palomino design.
That little shaggy pony (The Quest for Camelot)
12/10 Amazing. Look at the determination.
Buck (Barnyard)
2/10 See this is what that horse from Sing COULD have looked like.
The Horse in the Back, Not Klaus But I Couldn’t FInd a Better Picture (Klaus)
9/10 He matches his owner and I respect that
Leah (The Star)
4/10 This is horse is voiced by Kelly Clarkson. That has nothing to do with her rating, I just thought you should know.
(Starchaser: The Legend of Orin)
8/10 for both. I have questions but I do not want answers. It’s better this way.
Fred (Over the Garden Wall)
7/10 don’t love that his head is a different color than his body in a weird way but he looks neurotic and fun.
The Chariot Horses (Prince of Egypt)
8/10 I’ve just always liked these guys with their square faces and fun hats.
Altivo (The Road to El Dorado)
7/10 Look at the little curl in his mane. Good personality. A little too much “Dreamworks Face”
Donkey in Horse Form (Shrek 2? one of the Shreks)
3/10 Look at his face. I DREAD what he might have to say.
Esmeralda, Esperanza, Ernestina (Madgascar 3)
2/10 They’re coming for you. Coming to drag you into the Abyss.
Police Horse (Madagascar)
7/10 I like his face shape. Compare him to the Madgascar 3 horses– look how much more identifiable as a horse he is.
Melvin (The Lorax)
10/10 He’s not a horse, but he’s so fluffy I love him.
Babieca (Puss in Boots)
4/10 This horse has dead eyes.
Onyx (Rise of the Guardians)
13/10 She’s the leader of the nightmares and I would fully support her terrorizing the dreams of children. I’m pretty sure she and her mares ate the boogie man. A true Girlboss.
Yi Min (Kung Fu Panda but I think just an online game)
-20/10 Just from a design perspective there’s far too much going on so it’s hard to even make it all out. Also I would have zero idea that this was a horse if the wiki page didn’t tell me it was. It has split hooves?
Spirit Jr. (Spirit: Riding Free)
8/10 Objectively I know the design is good but my heart rebels against this show’s existence.
Boomerang Thomas Stone (Spirit: Riding Free)
8/10 I’m not doing all the horses from this show but I had to throw him in because he’s cute and he has a middle and last name for some reason.
Horse (Centaurworld)
Why are there two distinctly different designs for her? This one gets a 9/10. The round one is like… a 5. All the other creatures in this show are eldritch abominations that will haunt me in my sleep now.
Esperanza and all the other horses from this movie (Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron)
10/10 No notes. Perfect horses.
Rain (Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron)
15/10 I don’t have a joke here I just really like the way they differentiated her and made her pretty without too much anthropomorphizing. I like that she has a roman nose. I like her feather.
Spirit (Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron)
100/10 He’s everything. He shaped me as a person. No other animated horse can compare.
OP disabled reblogs but it needs to be known
🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🦌🟥
Sleigh ride!
🤺 🙎
Nothing personal, kid
🤺 🔫🕵♂️
Vengeance!
