GEORGE: She came on my glasses.
JERRY: On your glasses?
GEORGE: All over em! It was a nightmare!
JERRY: Well why were you wearing your glasses during sex?
GEORGE: I gotta see, don't I?
JERRY: What's there to see? All you need is the basic gist.
GEORGE: You're missing the point.
KRAMER: She came on your glasses? Oh that's the worst.
GEORGE: Thank you!!
JERRY: Kramer, you don't even wear glasses!
KRAMER: I do for sex!
inspired by this tweet
and @orbitalpirate ‘s resulting tags
i did my best george jerry and kramer imitations, if they sound off 1st of all it’s cuz we’re all trans 2nd off Shut Up
new favorite youtube comment just dropped
I pillowed too much princess Jerry. What do you mean by that George. You know what I mean Jerry I was pillowing princess and overdid myself. I don’t think you know what that phrase means George. Oh you think I can’t have the restful delicate sleep of a princess you think I’m too rough and ill mannered. I don’t mean that George buddy you could be a princess you’re classically beautiful. Oh do you really mean that Jerry that means a lot from you. [Kramer enters] fellas I finally mastered my wakefulness tulpa
season 7 episode 6 of Seinfeld is infamous for the “soup nazi” bit, but I’m personally more invested in the strange lovers-like quarrel between Jerry and George, which culminates in them angrily making out with their respective girlfriends across the table from each other, out of spite. It’s explicit that they don’t even like these women.
Sometimes I can’t believe Seinfeld had an episode where George was dating a woman who looked like Jerry. That’s not editorializing. It’s a major plot point. And then when she cuts her hair short George has a breakdown/epiphany that if he likes this girl… because it’s like hanging out with Jerry 24/7 … and they can also have sex…. then that must mean…
And then the episode ends and George tells Jerry “we just never speak of this again” and goes back into the closet.
And this somehow isn’t something we all hallucinated
george forgets which neopronouns his partner uses. elaine starts dating a guy with her birthname, and discovers his birthname is elaine. jerry takes newman's comment that he isnt "really" butch because he uses bath salts to heart. an ominous horoscope drives kramer to audition for rupaul's drag race.
Seinfeld episode where George can't decide whether to stay with a woman who gives amazing strap game but keeps slapping his bald head while they fuck. Meanwhile Jerry and Newman realize they've been in the same polycule for months without realizing and are now getting into lovers spats. Elaine starts an Onlyfans but realizes the only people subscribing are doing so because they are antiquers and her furniture is so old they are marvelling at it and trying to guess each items value. Kramer becomes a twitch streamer, but somehow accidentally sets off a twitch notification noise for every single thing that can happen in his apartment.
elaine starts dating an endocrinologist for free hormones. a mean comment about jerry's voice makes him reconsider his stance on hrt. kramer gets big on tiktok after a few true crime fans decide hes a serial killer. george's parents sell him to one direction.
george costanza screencaps that speak to me (part 1)
love when a dynamic is like. this would be deeply toxic for anyone else but considering the people involved this is actually far and away the healthiest option
