a daily reminder to myself...
I. Breaking up:
If you are in abusive relationship, leave. If you can’t tell whether or not you’re in an abusive relationship, leave. If you aren’t happy, leave. If you’re happy but you could be happier, leave. If he threatens to kill himself if you leave, leave. You’re not heartless, you’re just trying to save the one you have. If your parents don’t like him, they’re probably onto something. If he cheats on you, leave. If he cheats on you but promises to change, leave. If he doesn’t treat you right, leave. If you feel uncomfortable, leave. If he does something wrong, give him the chance to fix it. If he doesn’t, leave. If your feelings change, leave. Love is not always reason enough to stay.
II. Moving on:
to put it simply, it’s hard as fuck. It takes forever and aches all the time. There’s nothing you can do about it, all there is to do is hurt. You just have to hurt for awhile and eventually the pain subsides. Don’t be a cliche. Drinking doesn’t really numb the pain it just makes you cry and text him that you miss him and then cry harder when he ignores you. Cutting doesn’t help either. Pain is temporary, scars make it permanent. Don’t you fucking dare wear your sixteen-year-old heartache on your wrists for the rest of your life. Delete his number and all the pictures on your phone. Unfollow him on instagram and unfriend him on facebook and do not watch his fucking snapchat stories. When he gets a new girlfriend, try not to let it break you, okay? She’s not prettier than you.
III. Sex:
Have it. Or don’t. It doesn’t matter if you’re a virgin at 16 or 36. It doesn’t matter if all your friends are doing it. There is no number that coincides with the loss of your virginity. People will tell you that losing your virginity doesn’t matter. That’s not true. The truth is that it doesn’t define you. But it does matter. Not because it means something important or because it changes you or the way people see you, just because it’s an emotional thing and it’s really fucking personal. And no, you don’t have to have sex with someone you’re in love with, but you do have to be comfortable. And you have to want it. You’ll know when you’re ready because you won’t have to question it, and it’s okay to not be ready for awhile. Don’t do it because your boyfriend is begging, if he pressures you, refer back to “I.” If it hurts, stop. Use protection. It’s not what you see in the movies and it’s definitely not what you see in porn. If you get sexually abused, go to the police. He can’t touch you like that and get away with it. You’re allowed to say no. You’re allowed to change your mind. You don’t owe anybody anything and it doesn’t matter how fucking short your goddamn skirt is or how drunk you are.
IV. Your body:
You’re probably not going to like it very much. You’re going to hate the way your tummy looks when you sit down. You’ll stand in front of the mirror and suck in. You’ll hate the way your thighs rub together and the little bumps you get from it. You’ll manage to find something wrong with everything, your left boob is bigger than your right, one of your eyes squints a little more when you smile, your hands are too small. People will tell you to love yourself and to be body positive. No one really acknowledges that it’s not that fucking easy. Learning to love yourself isn’t the same as learning geometry, there’s no textbook or answer key or teacher. There are going to be things that you hate about yourself that you learn to love and there are going to be things that you hate about yourself that you’ll always hate and that is okay. Fix the things you can fix. If you hate your nose, get a nose job. If you want to lose weight, go to the gym and eat healthy. if you’re sick of your hair, change it. Change the things you can change and accept the things you can’t. By the way, everyone has stretch marks and cellulite, they just don’t talk about it.
V. Other things to remember:
If you’re gay, you’re not obligated to come out. You don’t have to tell your parents. Live your life and love who you love. It is nobody else's business.
There is no such thing as “girl code.” If you and your best friend like the same boy and he wants you, you’re allowed to be with him. You need to put yourself first and do what makes you happy. Don’t put boys above your friends but don’t put your friends above your happiness.
Try really hard in school. I mean it. You will thank yourself later.
You don’t have to have a relationship with your parents, sharing blood with someone doesn’t give them the right to treat you like shit.
Don’t keep toxic people in your life, it’s okay to cut them out. Do what is best for you.
Don’t drink to black out, it’s dangerous and it’s not fun.
None of the bad stuff lasts. You’ll be fine.
How to Keep From Rotting (via extrasad)
😒😒😒
As fall approaches, I get ready for the trees to teach me the art of letting go.
I've always had so many problems with this..and I'm facing one of the biggest challenges thus far. Praying to put my worries to Him 💛
Source: wnq-writers
I’m not interested in whether you’ve stood with the great. I’m interested in whether you’ve sat with the broken.
Unknown (via deeplifequotes)
Yes. A thousand times yes.
“i’d lie for you.”
well don’t. i remember breaking your heart. i felt it. i typed the message, because i couldn’t bare to hear your voice, you’d feel abandoned, like you left me for weeks, with nothing but small talk and distant chats. i found myself being able to feel it as “read” popped up on the screen. i felt your heart sink and your jaw tighten. it hurts.
this being said, don’t pretend to love me, don’t pretend you need me.
if you meant it, it would’ve worked out the first time, but now that i know you’re willing to do this, maybe you just wanted someone, and everything meant nothing.
at this point i dont know what hurts more, knowing you’d willingly lie to keep me, or knowing all of this could’ve been some sort of sick game called ‘how long can i hold on to her so i’m not lonely anymore’
🙌🏻
1. He left. But no, he’ll come back. He’ll walk through the door saying he made a huge mistake. He’ll text you, saying he made a big mistake. He misses you. He needs you back. You won’t talk to anyone. You won’t step outside. You will cry so hard to the point you are blinded. He left… but he can’t really be gone.
2. You hate him. You hate yourself. He could have stayed. You could have tried harder. He doesn’t deserve the love you had to offer him. He’s nothing. It’s all his fault. How could he leave you like this? He didn’t care enough. He didn’t do enough. You hate him so much that every time someone mentions his name you just storm away. He didn’t deserve to walk away perfectly okay.
3. If only you had done something. If only you had told him you loved him more often. If only you kissed him more. If only you held him tighter. If only… if… only.. You’ll want to text him with everything you should have done to make him stay. You’ll want to beg and plea, saying you’ll try harder. You’ll change. You’ll fucking change just to feel his skin on yours again. Just to hear him breathe into your hair while you sleep. If only you had done something better. Something right.
4. You’ll want to die. You’ll want to tear your heart right out of your chest. You’ll cry every single morning. You’ll cry every single night. The days will be a blur. Nothing will matter. You’ll miss him so much to where you can’t stand up straight. You won’t eat. You’ll eat too much. You’ll want to die. He’s gone. Nothing will matter.
5. He’s gone. He’s gone. He’s gone. It doesn’t hurt so much anymore. He’s gone. You no longer need him by your side. Everything feels real again. You can finally smile for real. You’ll look at the blue sky while the summer breeze soothes your skin. He left. And that’s okay.
The 5 Stages (via unsends) Efimeraestadia (via agoniiized)
😭😭😭😭😭😭
“But the GREATEST of these is LOVE”
(if anyone actually reads this I’ll be thoroughly impressed, hats off to you)
“If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained NOTHING.” 1 Cor. 13: 1-3
Looking through my feed the last few months, Ive noticed an obvious, heartbreaking trend. So much hate, so much sin, and so many political agendas,- all with the common trait of being hellbent on ripping someone or some group to pieces. We are letting our feelings, morality, and political views be determined by who screams the loudest. And if someone decides to listen to another vocal opinion, by all means, scream at them too. Everyone is “offended.” One of my favorite sayings is “The amount of followers you have doesn’t matter, Hitler had 4 million, Jesus had 12” But what people forget is LOVE. “..And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” (v13) And I don’t mean love as in sexual orientation, I mean love as in compassion.
Jesus dined with sinners, people he KNEW were in the wrong, but what mattered the most was showing them the love of the father, because “ALL fall short of the glory of God” He didnt ignore their SIN, but he offered GRACE. All people are beautiful creations made in God’s image. Jesus died for all. He died for your annoying neighbor, he died for the political bigot, he died for the snobby feminist, he died for the druggies and substance abusers, he died for the hypocrite who doesn’t practice what he preaches, he died for people of other religions, he died for the racists, he died for the sexually immoral, and he died for the lost souls who just want to watch the world burn.
I probably disagree with the moral and political views of 90% of the people I come in contact with on a daily basis. But when it boils down to it, everyone has their own reasons for believing what they do. Their reason may be as illogical as what is popular on social media, or it may be as meaningful as a major event in their life. I have no way of knowing. Only God knows someone’s heart and can judge them. You can speak the truth all day but if you do it with hate, and not genuine love for people, it is absolutely meaningless.
/ramble over
This is exactly what I needed to hear today. 💘
1. The friends you have at the beginning of the year can completely change by the end of it. People change, and if they aren’t improving your life in some way, it’s okay to drop them.
2. Take many pictures. Don’t let it take over your life, though. You don’t want to look back and see that you only captured your memories with your camera lens and not within your mind and heart.
3. Find your safe place. Whether it be in the arms of a certain person or on the balcony of Barnes and Nobles with a cup of soup, find it and don’t let it go. You can have more than one safe place.
4. Be nice to everyone. You honestly don’t know what skeletons people are hiding in their closets. Everyone has their skeleton. Every person on this earth has something in their life or past worth collapsing on the ground in uncontrollable sobs over.
5. Reading is so important. Highlight the things that you read that you find intriguing. Read a lot, it can only do good things for you.
6. Writing always helps.
7. The girl with anxiety has the deepest thoughts. The autistic boy has the kindest heart, and the schizophrenic has the ability to put a smile on your face in seconds. Do not judge character based on a mental illness.
8. Music has an indescribable ability to connect and heal. Let it do its thing.
9. Her prettiness doesn’t make your prettiness any less pretty.
10. Getting close and letting someone in is scary as hell. You know what else it is? Worth it.
11. The minute you feel your happiness being dictated by someone else, take a break from them.
12. Adventuring is a must. Sunsets always help the soul, showing that endings can be as beautiful as beginnings.
13. Spend more time with your parents doing things they enjoy. Later in life, you’ll be wishing you’d spent more time with them than on your Netflix account.
14. Home is not always a place, but whatever you love with your whole heart. I have many homes, and it’s okay if one home doesn’t feel like home anymore.
15. Making someone smile and feel genuinely happy has the ability to warm your heart from the inside out. No matter how much pain someone is going through, you made them forget about it for a few seconds. Isn’t that something?
16. Feel everything and let it hurt, but don’t go back to what broke you.
17. Don’t let fear hold you back from what you want. The view from the other side is spectacular.
18. Tell people how you feel. Even if you’re scared it’ll burn your life to the ground. You say it loud.
19. You find the most extraordinary things in the most ordinary places.
20. Swollen lips and sweaty “I want you’s” can make you feel again, but I don’t want to feel anything if it means having to sit there feeling like the wind is constantly being knocked out of me when he stops calling back.
21. Sometimes the way you think of someone isn’t the way they actually are.
22. Never underestimate the amount of joy the holiday season can bring you. Try and find ways to feel that way all year long.
23. Timing is never going to be perfect; if you care about something enough, you’ll make the time. It’s all about priorities.
24. If women used their words to build each other up instead of tearing each other down, our world would change drastically.
25. Recovery can take 2 weeks or 5 years. You aren’t any less of a person if it takes you longer to find a way to let go of what’s hurting your heart.
26. You only need yourself, but having people by your side trying to understand means a lot more than you might think.
27. You find your truest friends in your darkest hours.
28. You can feel the whole world in a month and nothing after 2 years. Time does not define love.
29. Always say yes to dessert.
30. Concerts make life worth living. So does yelling your favorite song along with your best friend in the car with your best friend with hands intertwined. These are things that show you that you don’t need to be on drugs to feel invincible.
31. So does kissing.
emmuuhhhhh, 31 Things I’ve Learned Coming Into 2016 (via wnq-writers)
I love this. So, so, so very much.
Source: wnq-writers.com
A dying friend once told me, ‘I wish I hadn’t spent so many Mondays wishing it were Friday. I also wish I had made better use of those Fridays, for better stories on Monday.’
A Wolf’s Thoughts (via forebidden)
thevintageloserforever