chloe

When will I get a post about how SHE committed atrocities but SHE'S my special little guy and also SHE looked hot while doing it

I love that people just screenshot tiktoks. Fuck videos

the legend of Orlando Bloom’s broken rib

Dominic absolutely roasting Orlando gives me life

Also Viggo explaining that Orlando is just a delicate ELF sbcjsnxjxs THE BOND OF THESE GUYS IS EVERYTHJBG.

me for the last 10+ years whenever i feel the slightest inconvenience: oh bAbes. oh bAbes it hUrts. and i can’t ride the hOrse now bAbes

the time for games is over . disorders ... activate

Nine Inch Snails

the fact that a cat considers “sit in the same room ignoring each other” to be an acceptable social activity and not an insult is great for me because that’s how i like to socialise

i think about this tiktok literally every day

I recently found out why my mom would never sleep around me when I was a kid. Like she’d never let herself take naps or sleep if I was awake, ever. Or if she did, she would lock her bedroom door. So when I was 6, I was asleep in my bed in the middle of the night when I hear a loud bang, like a pot being dropped and come out to the living room to see my mom standing by the window, with just a huge pile of spaghetti all over the sill, and a pot on the ground, and I ’m like “Are you gonna eat all that?” And ya’ll she get’s BIG MAD and yells at me and chases me to my room but then a little while later a bunch of cops show up and ask me a bunch of random ass questions about my art? Like this one cop lady keeps asking me to draw dragons for her?! And they seem mad as hell

I didn’t want to get arrested so I just never asked my mom for spaghettis after that. Lesson, learned. Don’t ask mom for spaghettis or she’ll call the damn police on you. 

So I have this memory in my head, and it goes unquestioned until I say it outload for the first time a few months back and as soon as I say the words “When I was six, my mom called the cops on me for asking for spaghettis” My adult logic slams into place and is like “Hang on. Your mother definatly did not call the police on a 6 year old for asking for spaghetti.” 

So obviously that’s not what really went down. I call up my mom to tell her how I remember it and on top of her figuring out why her kid has always been really cagey around spaghettis for the last 3 decades she tells me what really happened. 

So on that night, a man tried to break into our house through the front window. It was just my mom, and her kids so she did what she felt she had too and shot him in the head. He’d been wearing a helmet, which landed on the floor under the window.

Now I just want ya’ll to put yourselves in my moms shoes for a minute here. This woman has just taken a human life. The trauma of that- the instant agony, the panic, the guilt, the fear- all of it hitting her at once, her only solace the knowledge that her children are safe. She protected her daughters. No matter the cost to her soul- her children are safe.

Then she looks up and sees her six year old staring at the inside of this mans head before saying “Are you gonna eat all that?” 

I suspect they were trying to keep me busy and distracted while they cleaned up the corpse in the living room?!?

honestly water is red and if you have any disagreements just fall over and explode

growing up on tumblr is weird bc they let you say anything on here except show tits but on tiktok you have to censor curse words and say things like d1e and then instagram calls it hate speech for saying u dislike men

They used to let us show tits

They used to let us show tits

Original Tumblr rules:

“id send you this post but u are dead to me” is such a strange feeling. im retreating to the woods

When you stumble across a meme that perfectly fits the niche of someone you no longer talk to…. like we have parted ways for good reasons but i’m still left with the knowledge that this would make you laugh. What do i do with that

I just found out these are all the same fucking person how is she so powerful

playing minecraft single player survival like “this is the loneliest i have ever felt in my entire life. not sure if i should go on. holy shit a flower forest”

you guys dont know what a himbo is anymore. youve lost sight. you cant just call every man you like a himbo. theres nuance

i hope your onions caramelize. i hope my onions caramelize. i hope we both sauté our root vegetables to perfection. slow cooked onions in loving pan.

The Princess Bride (1987) dir. Rob Reiner

@itspileofgoodthings:

#murder me#the princess bride#I used to think they were only good because of their chemistry and faces#(bc they actually say so little)#but the script deserves so much credit too#because even though they barely speak they say ENOUGH#and then Cary and Robin fill the spaces in between with such TRUTH#I’m obsessed with the balance in writing romance between saying too much and not enough#both pitfalls and commonly made mistakes#the princess bride strikes that balance perfectly#this exchange alone says so so so much#through their words and their expressions#the moment starts out so Playfully Hard#she’s still in her bossing him around/tossing her head at him mode#but then he stands up and looks at her Like That#and she’s suddenly caught off guard by his humanity on a deeper level#so she softens and adds the please#almost as an apology- or at least an expression of gratitude#like she knows she’s just been kind of unfair (even if just in a fun way)#and then he Looks At Her Like That Again#and says what he always says#As you wish#and he’s so deliberate with it#and it’s like- it’s like#[screams into the void]#it’s like he’s saying ‘I don’t care what you ask me to do or how you ask me to do it’#‘I will always love you and I will always do what you ask me to do’#he’s almost (almost) laughing at her a little#but more than that he’s being pointed#to let her know he loves her and look at her face in the last gif. it takes!

Me after this post:

So often allo-hetero love stories frustrate me and a lot of people assume that means that I hate them. I don’t. I’m just comparing them all in my head to the princess bride and the majority of them don’t pass the bar of believability or chemistry or entertainment that this masterpiece of a movie has set up in my brain.

You know what’s funny?

They never actually explain why they’re in love.

In that way, the story is very shallow.

But ARE they in love? Who could doubt it? Look at them! Look at the risks they take and the lengths they go to for each other!

i reject the idea that the only 2 stances to take on ghosts existing are “believer” and “skeptic”