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Fantastical Alignment

@haedia / haedia.tumblr.com

I'm a 20-something person who does things on the internet. Occasionally, funny words come out. I also do art things and participate in fandomfoolery. Current fandoms: Shingeki no Kyojin, Haikyuu, Zankyou no Terror, Avatar, Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun, and...

i had a thought today like man, my ancestors would probably not approve very much of me being such an extravagant glutton, but then i was like wtf are u kidding. those dumbasses didn’t live on a fuckin potato ass diet for no minimalism. they didn’t do what they did, whatever the fuck it was, for me NOT to fucking eat my bodyweight in sashimi!!! they would be fucking ecstatic to see me making the most of my opportunities for plenty. they would be fucking cheering me on. every lice-covered cossack and illiterate serf and three-toothed yak herder in my lineage is with me in this restaurant, and they are going absolutely apeshit watching me try to fit an entire samosa in my mouth

me, standing in front of the burger king counter like the blithering hunger gibbon i am: i’ll have… uhhh… double whopper with fries. thank you. large please

the 500 mongolian tatar and polish jew ghosts behind me: [ERUPT INTO WILD SCREAMING AND HIGH FIVES] 

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can you believe there is a painting of cossacks going hogwild out there that fits this situation perfectly

It shocks me that people are legit complaining that dva has more to her character instead of being a tiddy steaming, dorito munching goblin made for the sole purpose of sex appeal. What the actual fuck.

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it’s literally them ignoring all the character development she was given. It’s like why do would you take a hero of color who finally got the lore she deserved, and try to make her into some racist and sexist caricature? people are legit trying to say that we didn’t get any ‘lore’ or story with the short but we literally did. we found out

  • the omnics attacking Korea are Gwishin. wherever they are from, they are targeting the southeast coast- specifically Busan. Which is interesting. Busan is a big city but it isn’t the capital, so the fact that they crossed the ocean and are specifically attacking Busan can give us an idea on the direction that the Gwishin are coming from and possibly lead to the location, if that makes sense. 
  • D.Va has an entire team of other MEKA pilots. Those pilots are Yuna, Jae-Eun, Kyung-Soo, and Seung-Hwa. They all have their own types of MEKAs and they fight with D.Va, however they aren’t used as much as a propaganda tool as Hana. 
  • Each MEKA pilot has basically an assistant to help with the mechanics of their MEKA. Hana’s is Dae-Hyun. 
  • The commanding officer for MEKA is a woman dubbed Captain Myung. 
  • D.Va was apart of another esports team alongside D.Mon. They were both picked for their skills and put on the MEKA team afterwards.
  • Both times there are new reports in the shorts, the news anchor specifics that Hana comes out alright- as if there was no issues. This shows that the government is censoring exactly how bad the situation is. 
  • D.Va’s face is used everywhere. She is spoken highly of and is always portrayed as strong and being able to get out of situations with no issues. This can be described almost propaganda-like. She is used to keep the Korean citizens in a mindset that everything is okay and that the Gwishin isn’t as big of an issue than they actually are. 
  • Hana feels a responsibility to her city and her country. She takes all of the pressure and feels that she has to keep everyone safe, even if it means constantly putting her life at risk. 
  • Hana suffers from PTSD flashbacks, which often can tie in with anxiety and depression as they are also symptoms of PTSD. 

and that’s just a few things from the short and Michael Chu’s tweets. To say she is a joke character who is based off of Doritos and twitch streamers is ignorant. A lot of people interpreted her like that before the short as well, but at the end of the day the was wrong. even before Shooting Star, we knew she was a war hero who kept Korea safe. At the end of the day people are still racist, sexist, and shitty, and it’s really sad. Especially after the amount of effort Michael Chu and Overwatch put in to reaffirming that she’s not just some ‘waifu’ 

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Interspecies lesbianism

It’s cute guys

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nothing but respect for MY lesbian big cat couple

Butch/Butch couple

This is actually hella interesting, bc in simple terms, tigers are extroverts and lions are introverts. There’s more to it, but that’s the gist.

Whenever zoo’s tried to put lions and tigers in the same enclosures, the tiger would eventually try to groom the lioness and play constantly. The lioness would lose patience and snaps at them

So basically what I’m saying is that you have a regal and refined gf who stands at the edge of a balcony during parties, sipping champagne

Then you have the other girl who drank all of the little flutes on the servers platter, and is now drunkenly pointing at her gf and telling everyone that that’s her gf and doesn’t she look beautiful I love her so much

BIG DISCLAIMER: i was 9 when 9/11 happened, so this might be more about my own crystalizing tastes than anything else. i think it’s a pretty darn good theory tho and other people have validated it.

BIGGER DISCLAIMER: i am not saying that country music prior to 9/11 was free from nationalist, racist, misogynist undertones - i just think that these themes became more the norm!

MY HOT TAKE:

with very few exceptions, including goodbye earl, before he cheats, and daddy Iessons (side note - all women!) 9/11 ruined country music. around 2014 onward we’ve got margo price, sturgill simpson, jason isbell etc., who are making country music great again (wink), but those folks are mostly considered “alternative” country. the mainstream country music for well over a decade now is a glut of trash performative patriotic / working-class-but-not-really lab-crafted budweiser-sponsored nonsense that has managed to sound rebellious (or has convinced its fans that it sounds rebellious) without ever actually questioning any power structure. so much so that artists who ACTUALLY criticized the government were literally blacklisted for nearly a decade (the dixie chicks)

pre-9/11 country music, though not perfect or ideologically pure by any stretch, did not have the raging american flag painted truck boner that comes to mind for a lot of people who say “i like everything except rap and country”

SPECIFICALLY, toby keith’s “courtesy of the red, white, and blue (the angry american)” (2002) literally destroyed country music. it was a direct answer to the 9/11 attacks and war song in support of the invasion of afghanistan. the lyrics read like a disjointed feverish email chain letter forwarded from your great uncle sprinkled with glittering american flag gifs and heavily saturated pictures of bald eagles. the entire song is lifted from an estimated 248 peeling bumper stickers collected from rusted trucks on cinder blocks in overgrown yards, cut up and arranged to fit a catchy, formulaic tune that is almost certainly the background music playing in george w. bush’s head at all times.

“we’ll put a boot in your ass, it’s the american way and uncle sam put your name at the top of his list and the statue of liberty started shakin’ her fist and the eagle will fly, and it’s gonna be hell, when you hear mother freedom start a'ringin’ her bell”

country music and the new country musicians that toby keith paved the way for became so pro establishment and so unquestioningly nationalistic that, again, the dixie chicks who went against this grain were blacklisted by the industry and received death threats from country music fans. hell, there are folks who STILL froth at the mouth at the mere mention of the dixie chicks.

9/11 killed outlaw country - how can you sing the praises of law breakers when your main circuit consists of singing to troops? there are some great classic country songs critiquing the police state - especially from johnny cash and merle haggard - now country music artists hold fundraisers for FOPs. new country music is basically in-law country music.

you don’t have to write a pro-bush patriotic anthem to be part of this post-9/11 ruination. playing meaningless songs about living in the heart of (read: white) america, eschewing the city (read: not white), and cracking open a cold one with the boys for “authentic” country music is also important to the war effort.

there’s a progression of themes here:

post 9/11 top tier: war anthem, vocally patriotic, directly used as pro war propaganda; which paved the way for: “things used to be so much better” thinly veiled racist laments, good for campaign ads; which paved the way for meaningless party anthems - attempts to make things “like they used to be” and craft a reality that neither the artist nor listener likely ever experience.

that brings us to what most people think of today when they say they hate country music: the country party anthem - “tiny hot gal in tight jean shorts who can drink beer like the guys, she doesn’t like beyoncé Like Other Girls, oh she’s so into me and my truck, i’m gonna take her fishing after i finish sowing my corn - sung by a guy who’s never touched a tractor” - has overtaken the tragic, done me wrong, despairing country ballads of tammy wynette, george jones, and even up into pre-9/11 contemporaries like reba mcentire and george strait. you didn’t necessarily have to be country to relate to their pain. now you have to perform suburban redneckness to enjoy luke bryan.

when was the last time you heard a sad country song?

after 9/11, cowboys (whether or not they had ever been near a cow) weren’t allowed to be sad anymore (no more done me wrong country), and they certainly weren’t allowed to question authority (no more outlaw country). partying hardy became the most important American Thing and if you don’t sing about that, our Enemies Will Win.

so - understanding that country music has always had bad stuff, and that like any genre it suffers from commercialization, 9/11 DESTROYED COUNTRY MUSIC. and toby keith gleefully helped destroy it.

for some further evidence of the decline of country music, please listen to the dixie chicks’ “long time gone” which is an indictment of the industry (i believe it was written before 9/11 but my point still stands - the genre was on the decline and 9/11 was the major cultural event that hastened the decline).

maybe i am a curmudgeon - almost every generation of country music has had its own “country music is not what it used to be” anthem, but i really think something distinct happened with 9/11.

Can confirm. Alan Jackson and Toby Keith, the blacklisting of Dixie Chicks, literally the only singer I can think of that ever spoke out against anything from 2001-2010 was Johnny Cash. I’d also say that the uber-patriotic stance lead to the shiny, vapid County Boy® nonsense that lead to so many of the solo artists all sounding and looking the same.

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The rework of the Horizon Lunar Colony is on the PTR at the time of writing this, and there’s more info present on it relating to the missing character, and possibly future hero, Hammond. And again, it’s pretty clear that whatever he is most definitely isn’t an ape and yet again, it seems like a bunch of people in the playerbase assume he’s a chimpanzee or something. And I just. What.  (To follow is some character speculation, map lore, and bafflement at some wide-spread assumptions in the fanbase)

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Oh. Oh well then. Would you look at that: Hammond turns out to NOT be a chimp. It’s almost like all the stuff on Horizon that directly referenced him never suggested he was a chimp, but was, instead a small, otherwise inconsequential mammal.

Weird.

consider: adhd immortal people

“what was it like 400 years ago?” fuck if i know. i don’t even remember what it was like last week.

catch me procrastinating basic tasks for twenty times longer

“oh yeah, I’ve been meaning to get around to fixing that window, but I’ve just been so busy, y’know?”

“you’ve lived here since 1740″

MMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Walking through a museum and seeing some old things of yours and just going “FUCK. FUCK GOD DAMN IT, I’ve been looking for this forEVER” and then trying to haggle with the curator to get your shit back

ahhh now I understand why Jeff Goldblum is like that

STROKE: Remember The 1st Three Letters… S.T..R … My friend sent this to me and encouraged me to post it and spread the word. I agree. If everyone can remember something this simple, we could save some folks. STROKE IDENTIFICATION: During a party, a friend stumbled and took a little fall - she assured everyone that she was fine and just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes. (they offered to call ambulance) They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food - while she appeared a bit shaken up, Ingrid went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening. Ingrid’s husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital - (at 6:00pm , Ingrid passed away.) She had suffered a stroke at the party . Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke, perhaps Ingrid would be with us today. Some don’t die. They end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead. It only takes a minute to read this… STROKE IDENTIFICATION: A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke…totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough. RECOGNIZING A STROKE Remember the ‘3’ steps, STR . Read and Learn! Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke. Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions : S * Ask the individual to SMILE .. T * = TALK. Ask the person to SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE (Coherently) (eg ‘It is sunny out today’). R * Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS . If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call the ambulance and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher. NOTE : Another ‘sign’ of a stroke is 1. Ask the person to ‘stick’ out their tongue. 2. If the tongue is ‘crooked’, if it goes to one side or the other that is also an indication of a stroke. A prominent cardiologist says if everyone who gets this e-mail sends it to 10 people; you can bet that at least one life will be saved. And it could be your own.

First reblog post that actually saves a life.
This is a life-saving post.
the more you know
yeah don’t think that this can’t happen to you or someone you know if they’re young. my cousin’s wife is 33 and she had a stroke last year
I’ve had a stroke. It happens to people, and the more you know about this kind of stuff, the better.Because it could be important to know.

LIVE SAVING. WOOOAHH. REBLOG REBLOG REBLOG REBLOG REBLOG 

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Had a family member almost die of one, so signal boosting because you never know when you could save a life.

Because I feel bad if I don’t reblog…

My mother died after being paralyzed by a stroke. Please read this^

I remember a while ago here in UK there were stroke-identifying adverts. Their catchphrase was FAST:

  • F- Face: is their face fallen on one side?
  • A- Arms: can they raise both their arms up and hold them there?
  • S- Speech: is their speech slurred? Can they speak a full sentence?
  • T- Time: if all the signs show a stroke, call 999.

We managed to save my nana with this information when she had her first stroke. 

As a first responder, often times we are too late because 911 wasn’t dialed soon enough. Please, please, PLEASE pay attention to these small but significant signs. Every one rings true, and WILL save a life if you call 911 RIGHT AWAY!

Freya Was Jacked

So there’s this story in Norse mythology, Þrymskviða. Compressed down, it goes like this: A Jotun steal Thor’s hammer Mjolnir and says he’ll only give it back if he’s given Freyja to marry, as she is the most beautiful goddess in all of existence. The gods argue over what to do for a while before Heimdall suggests they stick a bridal veil on Thor, says he’s Freyja, and pretend they’re giving Freyja (Thor) to the Jotun to marry so Thor can get close enough to the Jotun to steal Mjolnir back. 

Now typically when people talk about this story, it’s with an element of disbelieving comedy. “Oh my god, who would believe Thor was a woman, let alone Freyja, the most beautiful goddess in the world?” 

But I propose a different way to look at the story. 

See, different cultures have different beauty standards. Modern western beauty standards may be a delicate hourglass supermodel, but that’s not always been the case. Greece, for instance, depicted Aphrodite like this: 

Yeah. A Greek sculptor was told “sculpt the goddess of beauty” and they thought “alright, fat rolls, that’s where beauty is at, let’s do this”. And everybody else apparently agreed with them, because up went the statue. Beauty is a malleable concept is what I’m getting at. 

Now this is where it becomes relevant that Freyja is not just the goddess of love, sex, and beauty. She’s also the goddess of war. And the righteous dead. Goddess of war in the same Viking warrior culture that gave us shield maidens, women who wielded seven fucking kilogram (15 lbs) shields in combat. 

Sooooo … when the Norse storytellers said, “This is Freyja, goddess of war and the righteous dead, who rode giant murder cats into battle, she is the most beautiful goddess in the world”, I’m guessing they weren’t thinking of her as some willowy waif. No, I’m guessing they probably thought more along the lines of:

190 cm (6′3″), broad shoulders, built like a brick shithouse, with a jawline like whoa, and fully capable of murdering everything in her path.

Put in that context, the story of Thor dressing up as Freyja sounds less like a punchline about “how could anyone ever mistake Thor in a veil for Freyja?” and becomes more a case of “ohhhhhhhhhhh, no wonder all the gods thought this plan would work”. 

It did, by the way. The plan totally worked. 

I love this

Morally grey: A character who does too much bad to be a good person, but does too much good to be a bad person.
Sympathetic villain: A character who is a bad person, but whose backstory/character arc makes you feel sorry for or sympathetic towards them.
Anti-hero: A character who does bad things to achieve a good goal.
Anti-villain: A character who does bad things to achieve a goal that they believe to be good, but is actually messed up.
Just plain annoying: A character who does bad things to achieve a bad goal but has one throwaway line about a hard childhood that is expected to put them into one of the aforementioned categories when in reality it just makes them annoying

The rework of the Horizon Lunar Colony is on the PTR at the time of writing this, and there’s more info present on it relating to the missing character, and possibly future hero, Hammond. And again, it’s pretty clear that whatever he is most definitely isn’t an ape and yet again, it seems like a bunch of people in the playerbase assume he’s a chimpanzee or something. And I just. What.  (To follow is some character speculation, map lore, and bafflement at some wide-spread assumptions in the fanbase)

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You could say that I have reservations about the Mercy charity skin. And I could (and have in other places) write a fuck-ton about WHY this skin is pretty gross in the context of a breast cancer research fund charity campaign. Especially since this is obviously wank fodder to get people that find Mercy hot to buy this skin. 

Yes, money is going to a good cause. But the vehicle through which that happens matters and overly sexualizing women’s bodies to get people to donate their money for the cause is gross. It’s pretty much just a fancier version of “Save the Ta-tas”, wrapped up in a faux-magical girl aesthetic filtered through male gaze objectification. And before anyone tries to whine about how characters can be depicted in lots of different ways or something: yeah, I agree. The skin itself, outside of the context it was introduced in, is a pretty well-designed skin. Except the gross up-skirt quality to it and the pigtails are pretty ick. But for the context, it’s fucked up. Pretty, yes. But also pretty fucked. Up.  Maybe if I’m feeling less angry about it later, I’ll write up more thoughts on WHY this is so fucked up. But I can’t at the moment. 

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Since apparently a bunch of people’s reading comprehension is pretty shit and wow the projection, here are some words and bits on why this skin is at least somewhat problematic:

To start, some positives since people assume I hate everything about it (lol, okay), the aesthetics, as a skin, are nice (except for those two specific issues with the skirt -- that’s just shit design meant to titillate dudes primarily). Composition is fine, details are fine.  It's a good legendary skin in the context of it existing as a skin -- divorced of the charity event. I wouldn’t purposefully unlock it since I don’t care too much for it overall, what with it being so incredibly pink-femme (and if you’re really femme or like really femme things, that’s great! But I’m not one to feel that way overall. It’s neat being different from each other, even!), but it’s fine and it’s fine if you like it. Surprising to some, it’s actually possible to have nuanced opinions about a thing. You can even like something and still have reservations about it! You can also like parts of something and think other parts of it are gross! Humans are capable of holding complex opinions! Shock horror!  Outside of a breast cancer fundraiser, the panty-shot shit would be irritating but it’s not nearly as gross. But in context of the charity event, it IS problematic. Full fucking stop.

Mercy is a doctor and, though she is more femme-presenting than not, the pigtails are pretty ick here (though that’s mostly an issue because it’s paired with the upskirt shit). Pigtails can be, and often are, infantilizing. In younger people, they are deeply tied to innocence, youth, girlhood, and other such concepts. Dva, in pigtails, is generally a better fit (see the Black Cat skin), given her dichotomous existence of super cute and super deadly. 

Pigtails on grown, older women, though, have other connotations to them. Those connotations don't go well with Mercy in the context of a breast cancer research charity event. And, no matter how much you’d like to, you can’t just deny that those connotations exist just because you want to.  There are definitely Mercy mains and others that will get this because 1.) great cause (and going to a foundation that doesn’t squander donations like other foundations out there), 2.) she's real pretty, 3.) it’s a well-designed skin and it’s nice, and so on. But this is obviously aimed,at least in part, at getting dudes to buy this skin that find mercy hot (again, fucking upskirt shit and pigtails). I mean, I don’t think I need to explain the history of upskirt shots, fanservice, and related topics and how ick they can be -- how objectifying, disempowering, and sexist they can be -- but then again there are people trying to claim that I’m making it sexual. (again, lol) Though I guess it needs to be said: this isn’t me making the skin sexual. A person pointing out sexualization of a design actually doesn’t mean that that person is making that design sexual. Mentioning that you notice a terrible smell in a room doesn’t mean you made the smell. Not sure why people trip up on that concept, but oh well. So, sorry if me showing purposeful design decisions that show off her ass when she moves, or, ya know, she happens to be standing with her back to you, makes you cranky. Whoever made that design did that on purpose. That was a decision that was made and deemed a-okay to be the flagship for a charity event meant to help save people from a terrible cancer. Ya know, people who, thanks to how terrible cancer tends to be, can feel awful about their bodies after recovery thanks to how much weight our cultures tend to put on female ideals of beauty -- especially if they had to have a mastectomy of some kind.

As I said above, I can't help but see this skin as a muuuch fancier version of a "Save the Ta-tas" kind of shit and that’s real gross. But breast cancer campaigns can, and do absolutely, have problems when it comes to using sexuality, titillation, and women's bodies as objects to sell the concept of saving them (See: any kind of “Save the Ta-tas”, “Save the boobies” kind of garbage; campaigns that feature nearly entirely white women that are “feminine” ideals; campaigns that never feature women post-remission that had to have invasive surgeries, etc. And also, check out where donations made to cancer foundations can actually end up). Yes, they raise at least some money. And yeah, that money raised is good. But the message and the subtext is still there, whether it was intended or not. And yes, this event will raise money for breast cancer research. Yes, that's a good thing. And it’s real good that BCRF is receiving these donations, since they’re not known for the bullshit other foundations have been busted for. 

To wrap up: the above isn't about me trying to say that Mercy should never, or could never, be in pigtails. Nor that she should never have a skin that’s more sexualized. No, I definitely didn’t say that. And that on its own is okay, but again, the symbolism will always be there. Sometimes, that’s perfectly fine. I mean, I draw erotica, sometimes straight up porn, and other art that celebrates sensuality, sexuality, and so on. I’m about as far as one can possibly get from disliking things that show skin. It's the context that’s the issue here.

The real kicker to all this: None of the things produced in a culture, global or otherwise, exist in a vacuum. And even if you want to, you can't just strip an artifact, image, piece of art, or in this case campaigns, from its history and its connotations. 

Breast cancer campaigns have a history of problematic shit: from problematic slogans to not being clear about how much of the donations go to actually finding cures to sexualized imagery to the nearly complete erasure of men, cis or trans, as people that can be personally affected by it. (That last one can be pretty bad since it means that most men don't check themselves nor think of it as a possibility until it’s far too late and even doctors of those people don’t always consider it as a possibility as well.) Things overall have gotten better over the years, but you can’t just ignore what came before. Especially when it’s still happening.

And if you're one to whine about "Well, if you know so much, what do YOU think would have been better??", I'll tell you: something that actually, ya know, draws on her medical background. Even if it's in a stylized motif within the vision of her in a magical girl theme. It can still be femme but ya know, not something with as much built-in, passive upskirt. Give the material on the outer part just a bit more weight and even out the hemline a bit, something. Just changing those alone would vastly help this skin -- in its charity context. Again, it’s fine if you like the skin. I’m not demonizing people that like it. Fucking obviously. It’s a great cause (And BCRF is definitely deserving of being the recipient) and the idea of charity skins, alone, is great. But as I said in the OP:  “Yes, money is going to a good cause. But the vehicle through which that happens matters and overly sexualizing women’s bodies to get people to donate their money for the cause is gross.” And that bit doesn’t lay at the feet of the organizers behind the event, BCRF, nor the people that like this skin. Any anger here is directed at the people who made those unnecessarily, pretty ick design decisions for the skin, in the context of this event. And if you’re not familiar with the history I’ve mentioned above, look up pinkwashing and related things, problematic slogans, etc. Some were quite awhile ago now, but again, that shit lingers and still has echoes today. Like, it’s not uncommon and it’s not really a thing of the past. Unfortunately.

You could say that I have reservations about the Mercy charity skin. And I could (and have in other places) write a fuck-ton about WHY this skin is pretty gross in the context of a breast cancer research fund charity campaign. Especially since this is obviously wank fodder to get people that find Mercy hot to buy this skin. 

Yes, money is going to a good cause. But the vehicle through which that happens matters and overly sexualizing women’s bodies to get people to donate their money for the cause is gross. It’s pretty much just a fancier version of “Save the Ta-tas”, wrapped up in a faux-magical girl aesthetic filtered through male gaze objectification. And before anyone tries to whine about how characters can be depicted in lots of different ways or something: yeah, I agree. The skin itself, outside of the context it was introduced in, is a pretty well-designed skin. Except the gross up-skirt quality to it and the pigtails are pretty ick. But for the context, it’s fucked up. Pretty, yes. But also pretty fucked. Up.  Maybe if I’m feeling less angry about it later, I’ll write up more thoughts on WHY this is so fucked up. But I can’t at the moment. 

Remember in 1993 when Jurassic Park was like…the end all, be all of special effects?

not gonna lie that still looks intimately real

I’m still somewhat convinced that someone sold their soul to create the special effects in Jurassic Park because that shit is over 20 years old and it still really, really holds up, better than the stuff in a lot of current movies, even.

Fucking witchcraft, man. 

fucking look at this shit though

Literally see this post flying around with a few different responses added to the bottom each time so I’ll say it for this one myself:

THEY ACTUALLY BUILT A GIANT MASSIVELY DETAILED FUCKING ANIMATRONIC T-REX FOR ALL OF THIS THAT’S WHY THE EFFECTS ARE SO GOOD. CAUSE IT AIN’T CGI. AND IT AIN’T GUY IN A COSTUME. IT’S A BIG FUCKING ROBOT DINOSAUR. AND EVERY PART IS DESIGNED TO MOVE. IT COST LIKE HALF THE BUDGET OF THE FILM.

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amazing

And they had the film it in small increments, especially in the outdoor scenes, because the rain fall kept soaking into the ‘skin’ of the rex and would slow down and mess up its movements. So they would stop filming and have a crew out there drying off this massive, fake dinosaur, and then they’d start filming again until it was too wet. Repeat until the end of the scene.

They used animatronics and detailed costumes for most if not all of the dinosaurs in the first movie.

The triceratops for instance, was also animatronic.

And the raptors were dudes in suits. I shit you not.

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One of my favorite anecdotes I’ve read on tumblr is how the t-rex robot from Jurassic park would malfunction while it was drying out. How did it malfunction, you might wonder?

Motherfucker randomly started moving.

So apparently if you were on the jp set you would sometimes hear people screaming bloody murder even though they were all well aware that it was a giant animatronic puppet and wouldn’t actually, you know, eat them.

Did not know this, had to reblog for awesome movie history insights.

So, I knew about the animatronics bit but I did not know the raptors were guys in suits and the malfunctioning t-rex sounds terrifying.

And i just googled malfunctioning t-rex and was not disappointed. Apparently in order to put the skin on over the steel frame a guy had to crawl inside the t-rex while it was turned on and glue the skin down. And if somebody turned the t-rex off or the power went out the guy in the t-rex stood a very real chance of getting mangled and killed by the hydraulics.

So of course, the power goes out.

And this guy is still in there gluing the skin down.

Apparently the way to survive getting sheered to death by huge sheets of metal while you’re inside a giant t-rex robot is to curl into a ball and hope for the best.

And this guy hoped for the best and got it.

Some other people on stage pried open the t-rex jaws and glue guy crawled out of its mouth and was totally okay.

This is getting better and better.

I think they only had like 6 minutes of CGI

I’m just waiting for the T-Rex to come to life and leave its stand.

@spinosaurus-the-fisher is this the kind of content you love?

Realism comes at a cost, it seems.

i mean ok but why has nobody posted this:

It’s a three piece raptor suit.

Old movies had the best special effects

The thing about this that gets my special effects nerd going is the fact that EVERY single dinosaur was sculpted by artists based on the current existent archeological evidence of the time.

Even better than that, this movie ADVANCED our best understanding of dinosaurs at the time.  They were blowing out a budget bigger than anything Hollywood had ever seen, and along with employing almost the last hurrah of incredible physical FX, they had a bank of those newfangled digital SFX computers.  Nobody’d ever really created convincing dinosaurs in a movie before.  It’d all been stop-motion animation, and even when the models were exquisitely crafted, you could just tell there was something OFF about them.  Spielberg wanted THE BEST DINOSAURS EVER, and he figured on using the cutting edge of digital modeling and animation technology to build them for him.

So they got hold of some of the best paleontologists they could find and said, “We want you guys to take this tech that your labs could pretty much never afford and use it to build us the most realistic, accurate dinosaur models the world has ever seen.”

The paleontologists knew an opportunity when it bit them in the ass.  They plugged in everything they knew about dinosaurs, all the skeletons and their best guesses about soft tissue and all that.  And when they’d created those dinosaur models, they had the computer start moving them as they realistically would with anatomy like that.  One guy took a look at those walking t-rexes and velociraptors (really utahraptors, but whatevs, fam), and he said, “Wait a minute, I’ve seen movement like that before.”

He called up film of a chicken walking.  Everyone in the room said, “Holy shit.”

Prior to 1989, the idea that birds were descended from dinosaurs existed–we knew about archaeopteryx, we knew there was some minor connection there–but the idea that DINOSAURS LIVE IN THE MODERN WORLD AND THEY ARE CALLED BIRDS was not pre-eminent.  Jurassic Park changed our scientific understanding of dinosaurs.

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That paleontologists’d be Kevin Padian. Who is awesome.

This post just gets better and better with time

Fic-related news

Hey people. I haven't forgotten about Missing Moments, I assure you. I am going to be posting again soon, for real. If you're rolling your eyes, trust me, I get it. I get it more than you do, probably.

I could tell you the sordid tale of how my existence has been hijacked by depression and other life events, but it won't change my long, long lapse. But a laughably condensed bit could be: basically, a few years of my life evaporated out of my hands, out of my control. But, tentatively I can say that I'm finally back in a place where I don't feel like shit nearly 100% of the time. It's closer to 50%-60% of the time, which though that's still a lot, it's far more manageable. For the time being.

I'm going to be rewatching the series and picking back up where I left off. Thankfully, I make ridiculously detailed notes so when I'm able to do that, the next chapter should be up soon afterwards.

And I have another story bubbling away, this one a still untitled Dishonored fic. Though that one might not show up for a bit longer. I don't want to commit to posting unless I can keep it up more consistently.

My hope is that I won't be so severely interrupted anytime soon. Depression is such an erratic, debilitating condition and it's just hard. :/