@guyfieritm

psst i'm beth
washington
29 • she/her

on the one hand, extremely funny to get told “get help” by a fortune cookie, on the other, i can’t believe betterhelp has breached influencers and podcasters and started getting fortune cookies to shill for them

if I opened a fortune cookie and there was a fucking advertisement inside I think I'd become the joker

i got a worse one

Update from the man himself

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holdtightclothing

The Porn Guy aka The Nice Guy aka The Canadian side of Pornhub aka SFW Pornhub’s REAL NAME is Ryan Creamer. No joke, that is legit his real name.

Also this.

Which led him to this.

Bless this man.

I can appreciate him and the service he’s providing independently of the shitshow that is the platform he’s hosted on.

He remains just as funny and weird on other platforms dw

By the way, the topic he was presenting was

‘Can I get an Honorary Degree if I Just Ask Really Nicely’

when i say i like hiking, i don’t mean “eight mile backpacking trip with special gear and an emergency beacon” sort of hiking, i mean a three mile loop to go look at pretty things and then a huge brunch after.

this is in no way a slam on hardcore hiking, it’s very fun, but i mostly just need to lower people’s expectations when i say hiking is a hobby of mine

"No no, that's ranger hiking. I like hobbit hiking."

Long Walks Georgs were outliers adn should not have been counted

when i say i like hiking, i don’t mean “eight mile backpacking trip with special gear and an emergency beacon” sort of hiking, i mean a three mile loop to go look at pretty things and then a huge brunch after.

this is in no way a slam on hardcore hiking, it’s very fun, but i mostly just need to lower people’s expectations when i say hiking is a hobby of mine

"No no, that's ranger hiking. I like hobbit hiking."

Long Walks Georgs were outliers adn should not have been counted

we need to make using chatgpt embarrassing bc sorry it really is. what do you mean you can’t write an email

i mean fuck i like pills i like drugs i like gettin money i like strippers i like to fuck i like day drinkin and day parties n hollywood i like doing hollywood shit snort it probably would

i swear to god NOTHING makes me more pissed off then when everyone is like “oouheuehghoughough ough [thing] is so good it’s a classic you’ll love it” and they say it SO OFTEN that you resolve on principle to loathe [thing] with your entire being but when you actually get around to experiencing [thing] it literally IS That Good. physically trembling with rage at the fact that hamlet actually is one of the best plays ever written. DIE

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hamletplinko

me when shakespeare plays actually DO have modern-day relevance and universal themes:

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Reblogged

CHAPPELL ROAN + text posts (67th Annual Grammy Awards Edition)

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CHAPPELL ROAN wins Best New Artist at the 67th Annual Grammy Awards — February 2, 2025

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CHAPPELL ROAN accepts the Best New Artist award onstage during the 67th Annual GRAMMY Awards (Feb 2, 2025)

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"And I'm trying my best to stand up for you in every way I can." 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️