Absolute ✨Disaster✨

Doctor: $140,000 a year

Furry artist on Patreon: $160,000 a year

i think you’re lowballing the furry art amount tbh

I’m sorry for the inaccuracies, Doctor Yiff

no matter how I respond to this I don’t look good, well played. i walked right into that

Well, furry artists are typically more competent and courteous than your average doctor, so I can see that.

Did you just legitimately tell me that a person who draws wolf ass is more competent than a dude who spent 8+ years in a university to give you your lung transplant?

doctors are bullshit and furry artists perform an infinitely more valuable service to society compared to them

You will die in 7 days

It took doctor’s like 10 years to diagnose what was wrong with me, some insisting I was faking for attention while a furry artist I knew just went “that sounds like crohn’s” after hearing me complain once and ended up being right

Also I can’t go to a doctor and ask them to draw Rouge the Bat wider than she is tall with tits to match, now can I

You could if you weren’t a fucking coward

have you ever noticed you pick up little habits and phrases from the people you love? it’s no wonder our hearts are so easily broken when people leave. we become a reflection of the people that we care about and those personality traits stick with us even if the people don’t

I make my ramen the way a friend taught me in eleventh grade. Every fall, I listen to a playlist made for me by a boy I drove across a border to hook up with. I eat sushi because a girl who won’t talk to me anymore made me try it, and Indian food because my best friend’s parents ordered for me before I knew what I liked. There are movies I love because someone I loved loved them first. I am a mosaic of everyone I’ve ever loved, even for a heartbeat.

it's a pretty niche trope but when a character defeats a villain and then becomes their successor i go fucking wild every time it's so tragic and so so sexy

congrats to @edge-lorde for being the funniest bitch in the notes

Salt preserves food because it smells like the ocean and mold doesn't know how to swim and gets scared

Everyone tagging this as "#greek philosophy" or "#pliny the elder" should be informed that I posted this during a really nasty bout of insomnia shortly after I'd eaten a double dose of marijuana edibles in an attempt to knock myself out so Yeah I'm pretty sure this counts as an oracular revelation actually

DID YOU SEE HIM?

no such thing as wasting your 20s your 20s are for recovering from whatever the fuck happened to you as a kid so that youre ready to get weird with it in your 30s

The really weird autistic sweet spot where you just say things you think and people find you super funny

Some of the best screenshots of despair are irl (part 2).

I want to die in a flower field and let the flowers eat me. Is that really so much to ask?

nothing but respect for my trans cow best friends

happy pride to my trans cow best friends

one more day til the stop sign

Everyone get up it’s stop sign day

babe wake up new stop sign just dropped

What is or isn't a slur can be highly contextual, y'all.

"Jonny Sims bummed a fag off my ma" doesn't contain a slur, but "What are you, some kind of fag?" does.

"Queer studies", "the queer community" and "I'm queer"? Not a slur. Some bigot calling you a "dirty queer"? Slur.

"Be gay, do crimes" and "He's gay" ≠ slur, but "Ew, that's so gay" = slur.

In conclusion, stop buying into this fucking "q slur" bullshit. Queer people talking about the queer community aren't using it as a slur any more than a gay man calling himself gay is using that term as a slur.

please be patient with me i am experiencing horrors unknown to you at all times

one of the best things about fanfiction is that you can make the characters say fuck

Love these notes

reverse gaslighting where i pretend to know exactly what you are talking about

academic conferences

Work meetings

Interviews

Auditory processing disorder

conversations with my cats who are yelling

telling a small baby that they made an excellent point and you fully agree