some kind of failgender shamebot

@guinevak / guinevak.tumblr.com

guinevak. autistic, tumblr granny, queer as in fuck you.   i am either a filthy apologist or a godless kinkshamer depending on who you ask.  arthuriana is the one fandom that has never betrayed me.

They’re too good a team, Cassian and Jyn. Left to themselves they’d make love the way they do everything else: fast and efficiently. They’d fit their bodies together like well-made machinery, perfectly synced, the whole process of pleasure streamlined down to its essence.

Bodhi’s seen them do it; it’s beautiful to watch.

He’d think they don’t know what they’re missing, if they weren’t both fully capable of taking their time with him. Jyn’s wet blossom-mouth, lingering where he wants it most; Cassian’s strong hands mapping every inch of him. They should give each other the same. He’s only one man.

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Ummm... everything on your WIP list sounds amazing and I am going to try to be good and patient and use this time to catch up on all your stuff that I haven't read but want to but I must confess I find the idea of Jyn and Draven working together (Allies in Truth) super intriguing!!

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Thanks for the compliment!  And as for your comment re: Jyn working with Draven….I always sort of hate how Draven somehow became this heartless, hateful monster in a large portion of fanon, maybe because I personally don’t think he behaved all that evil. YES, his subversion of the chain of command (his secondary order to Cassian to kill Galen Erso) was absolutely 100% wrong, but he was not malicious, cruel, or incompetent, which seems to make up a large portion of his character in many fic. There are a lot of otherwise well-written fic that I just cannot read because they turned Draven into someone petty, vicious and worse, strategically clueless. (I’m sorry, both Cassian Andor and Jyn Erso are assets that a commander in his position cannot afford to mistreat/throw away, not only because they are so valuable as allies in a struggling paramilitary underdog movement, but also because they would be so very fucking dangerous as enemies, and there are exactly zero living intelligence commanders that would not recognize that fact). 

Also, I personally think there are a lot of parallels between Draven and Cassian, just two men who hate what they do but believe in the necessity of it.  

[Putting the rest under a cut because this turned into a long “In defense of Davits Draven” thing with some introspection on Jyn and Cassian relating to him]

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“Fuck #Ice shoutout to my Mexicans , pass this shit”

All the people in the notes saying “they aren’t protected by the Constitution,” know nothing of our laws and constitution. The Constitution does not state anywhere that it’s protections fall only on us citizens, ( in fact if states wanted they could open up voting for non-citizens ) and this is the opinion held by the supreme Court in multiple cases.

Just because you don’t like foreign people doesn’t mean they don’t have rights. Even if they didn’t you should still have enough of a heart to care for others.

Hey! This is the link to the cards, a good resource for anyone who needs them or wants to provide them to their community. https://www.ilrc.org/red-cards

THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT! Nice work @kropotkinisrecruitin! FOLKS PLEASE SHARE!!!

“ As an individual detained by the United States government, you have numerous constitutional and other rights, regardless of your immigration status.”

my favorite part in attack of the clones is when obi-wan just fucks off to play space nancy drew on Clone Rain Planet with the alarming giraffe-necked aliens and swans in like “HELLO IT’S ME, the jedi who definitely… … was here before and probably, uh, spoke to you, and stuff” and theyre like “ah you are here for the order” and hes like “beg pardon” and theyre like “the order of millions of identical human men?” and hes like “RIGHT YES. ABSOLUTELY I AM HERE FOR THE ORDER OF MILLIONS OF IDENTICAL HUMAN MEN”

and then later when he SNEAKS INTO A CORNER TO FUCKING… facetime yoda… like “ok so we have these millions of identical human men who were apparently suspiciously ordered for us by someone???” and yodas fucking response is just “when countless sapient lemons life gives you…….. send those lemons into intergalactic battle you must”

 and obi-wan’s like “shit man you’re so right" 

There literally isn’t a frame of this scene where Obi-Wan doesn’t look confused as hell

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Do you think Hardison, who is well-versed in fanfiction and fandom tropes, ever stops to look at his life and is just like: omg.

Undercover at a coffee shop? COFFEE SHOP AU. Parker, please let me make you a coffee so we can have our very own meet-cute. 

They have to get out of town fast and end up at a shitty little motel. Eliot opens the door and growls. Parker shrugs. Hardison stands on the treshhold, fist to his mouth, and gleefully whispers: there’s only one bed.

Fake dating? He is here for it. Fake married? HELL YEAH BABY they will be so married nobody will doubt their marriedness. 

Parker doesn’t understand why he’s so excited about the tattoo shop next door to their clients, a flower-shop being harrassed by a big property developer who wants their building. “Do you want a tattoo?” she asks. No, babe, it’s just this fandom thing… “Oh it’s one of your make-believe about make-believe things.” Um… yeah.

Stuck in a snowstorm? Not as great or as sexy as fandom made it out to be.

Hardison meaningfully saying: and they were roommates and being annoyed that nobody answers.

He’s still waiting for the ‘undercover as a stripper’ episode. He’s ready. For whoever it is. He has outfits. He has nipple tassles. He has the whole Magic Mike choreography down just in case it’s him, okay?

That time Parker steals an entire busload of orphans through the power of Haagen-Das and he’s like: this is not how Accidental Baby Acquisition Fics usually go but okay, that’s cool.

Hardison saying Eliot shouldn’t try and seduce someone to get information out of them, because ‘Sam will kill him if he tries anything’ and everyone being like WHO THE HELL IS SAM.

Giant Fandom Nerd Hardison living his best fandom life, okay?

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Human: “It must be a dreary existence, unable to love, to eat, to sleep, to laugh… I feel sorry for you.” Robot: “I can laugh. I have a sense of humor, you know.” Human: “Really? I’ve never heard you laugh before.” Robot: “I’ve never heard you say anything funny.”

Hello 911 I’d like to report a violation of the First Law of Robotics, this robot just straight up murdered a human

Earlier I got a request for lesbian and asexual edits of this post. I changed the background color to gray in order to accommodate flags with black stripes.

(Image description: a gray background with pride flags on the left side of the image and green text on the right side which reads “still here, still queer, won’t be erased.” The post includes the nonbinary, asexual, more color more pride rainbow, bisexual, lesbian, pansexual, genderfluid, bigender, aromantic, and intersex pride flags. End image description.)

Hey can I just say that it’s utterly fucked that George RR Martin and Patrick Rothfuss are revered as gods of modern fantasy writing when neither of them has been able to produce a book in years and they also can’t write women

plus George RR Martin just copied wars of the roses

and Rothfuss made a legit plot point that Kvothe fucked a fairy for months

I’m not saying that I don’t enjoy these books, because I do, but I am just saying that I read fantasy books 10x better by women all the time. 

meanwhile, there are so many female fantasy authors who produce brilliant work, but because it is marketed towards women, it’s either YA or it’s paranormal romance (BOTH OF WHICH I STAN OK) and therefore doesn’t get considered “serious” fantasy even though they have better world building, magic, and writing style than most “masters of the genre.”

like, why is it that fantasy books written about women and by women are ONLY READ BY WOMEN AND MARKETED TO WOMEN, meanwhile fantasy books written by men about men are READ BY EVERYONE AND MARKETED AS THE NORM. 

like male fantasy nerds are just sleeping on Ilona Andrews because they write about women and add a romance plot line, meanwhile Kate Daniels is one of the best damn fantasy series I have ever read with some of the best world building and plotting e v e r. 

And I’m not implying that authors have to produce 3 books a year to be serious authors, but it’s a bit ridiculous that the fantasy genre and pub industry keeps pushing asoiaf and kingkiller chronicles at us when we don’t even have a date for the sequel. WHY DON’T YOU PROMOTE BOOKS BY WOMEN WHO KNOW HOW TO WRITE GOOD FEMALE CHARACTERS?? WHY NOT PROMOTE FANTASY BOOKS BY AUTHORS OF COLOR??

WHY IS FANTASY ON THE SAME WHITE MAN BULLSHIT ALL THE TIME????

One of my favorite fantasy series of all time is N.K. Jemisin’s Broken Earth trilogy. In which every book in the series has won a fucking hugo award! but do you see it getting the same amount of press that these male fantasy authors do? no. and that pisses me off because her books have such amazing fleshed out female (and male) characters and a complex world. 

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Honestly we need to get the N.K. Jemisin love train moving and get the Broken Earth and The Inheritance trilogy fandoms popping Where are the fandom wikis??

oh man, y’all should read Ancillary Justice by Ann Leckie, so freaking good

Here’s a short list off the top of my head of women scifi/fantasy writers that deserve your time & attention, in no particular order: N.K. Jemisin (as mentioned above) Diane Duane Octavia E. Butler Ursula K. Le Guin Ann Leckie (as mentioned above) Tanya Huff Nnedi Okorafor Diana Wynne Jones Tamora Pierce  Madeleine L’Engle

Oh my god Diane Duane!!!! The “so you want to be a wizard” series was one of my favorites! Its been a while since ive read it though…. need to find it again

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Patricia McKillip Patricia McKillip  Patricia McKillip  Patricia McKillip

K Arsenault Rivera!!!!!

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Lois McMaster Bujold!! Elizabeth Bear! Leigh Bardugo! Robin Hobb!!!!!!!

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I’ve been saying this ENTIRE TIME that C. J. Cherryh’s Fortress series is like ASOIAF, but good.

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in 2017 can we stop defending the validity of queer readings by mocking the idea that a platonic relationship could ever be as intense and meaningful as a romantic one

it’s one thing to challenge homophobic double standards and another thing entirely to shit on friendships while you’re at it

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no? how about in 2019?

staff You are recommending that I follow a nazi blog I blocked last night. Your site promotes anti-semitism to Jews. Your site shoves Nazi Swastikas in the faces of Jews. It’s bad enough that the Nazi blogs seem to be sprouting up like weeds on a site that claims to have an anti-hate policy, but to actively promote them to people who have taken the steps of blocking these blogs is beyond the pale. Clean this place up. It’s turning into Stormfront. I encourage everyone who sees this post, Jewish or otherwise, to reblog it. Tumblr has been ignoring the growth of Nazism on this site for too long. It needs to end.

In the midst of yet another Tumblr crisis, I would like to remind everyone that if I come out of this alive you’ll find me at number 55 Rue Plumet

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No doubt our paths will cross again.

:)

this entire website could be deleted right this second and i still wouldn’t move to twitter sorry

How to Backup your Tumblr

I was just semi-complaining that I was still looking for a decent way to backup my +6k posts without having to use paid services or even just wordpress (which has an import from tumblr tool that asks for permission to access your blog and also make posts), when I decided to actually put some effort into my google search. 

Results were positive: I have successfully backed up my blog

*By which I mean: everything that I have ever posted.  Not included: drafts, queue, likes, followers, following, comments, notes, chat. 

I followed this method (word by word), and now have a 450 MB folder on my computer with the name of my blog on it containing: 

1. Folder “Archive” (contains .html files listed by month) 2. Folder “Media” (contains gifs and images, mine has +1k files in it; might contain also audios but I have no way of confirming that because I’ve never reblogged an audio post from this blog) 3. Folder “Posts” (contains single .html files, each one a post; I have +4k files in it) 4. Folder “Theme” (contains only my avatar, but it might be a matter of if you have personalized themes or not) 5. .html file “Index” (by opening it it will give you the archive of your blog organized by month; clicking on a month will open up the archive for that month, and you’ll be able to read all the posts for that month as if you were on your blog**, except sans your theme graphic, with each page containing 50 posts)

**I can see gifs, links, embedded videos, tags, number of notes (but I can’t open up the notes, clearly), text is also correctly formatted. 

So yeah, in case anyone wants a very quick way to back up their blog, it took me less than 10 minutes. 

P.S. I didn’t have any issue, but to be on the safe side always check for spyware and virus threats before and after downloading anything. 

this is actually really useful if you have an art blog full of years of work that you otherwise no longer have access to the original files. A lot of the art I have in the early days of my art blog are in that boat. I did this process JUST for that reason and I was pretty astonished at just how many pieces of media it backs up! (literally all of it) Drawings I didn’t even realize were sitting in my archive due to having been posted to text posts or undercuts, or untagged for years! It’s worth it if just for that, even if tumblr isn’t shutting down or deleting your blog.