In a parallel universe, it's me you can't resist.

stop running towards the red flags girl ure not a bull

My gay ass storming into a bakery demanding my damned cake.

someday people will understand that not wanting to have kids and be responsible for tiny humans doesn’t mean you have to keep saying “i hate kids” and i hope that day comes soon 

someday people will understand that disliking children doesn’t automatically mean you are openly mean and nasty to children and want to ruin their lives and it just means you don’t care to be around them whenever possible

no offense but im sick of a school system that constantly preaches “dont be afraid to fail!!!” and then creates an atomsphere where grades are so excessively important and youre anxious if you get anything less than an A

The first time I heard an adult say the f word was when I was in fourth grade and we were doing some project that involved us baking cookies together as a class. My teacher Ms. Lindsey, who was real sweet, was demonstrating for everybody and she asked if anyone knew how to crack an egg, and I really didn’t know how to crack an egg, but I’m a go-getter, so I raised my hand and she called on me. I instantly knew I was in trouble at that point but I’d seen my dad crack eggs hundreds of times so I figured, ya know, it can’t be thaaaat hard. So I grab the egg but I have no sense of how softly you’re supposed to tap an egg to crack it, so I just slam it against the desk and splatter raw egg ten feet in every direction and my teacher said “what the fuck, Dion?”

dion: aries, taurus, gemini, leo, aquarius, pisces

ms. lindsey: cancer, virgo, libra, scorpio, capricorn, sagittarius

Me: hey how’s it going

My Australian friend: ???????

Me: oh sorry

Me: noʎ ǝɹɐ ʍoɥ ʎǝɥ

Them: ohhhhhhh LOL the spiders are coming and I only have minutes left

vegan: man, animals are treated fucking awful and we should do something about it

y’all: hmmm i guess that means you dont care about racism and sexism and human lives.. dam

My website – My Facebook page – See me on LINE Webtoon!

For any high school students out there wondering what college professors are like

HOLY SHIT

i’m a grower not a show-er what do this mean u might ask? means my peepee dumb small when it’s soft but when i get hard my shit bigger than your feet anyway the upside to this? no one ever expects how big i get when i’m hard it’s like “dam i ain’t even notice u got a big ass dick boy” the downside? if i get pantsed in public i immediately have to start jacking off before i pull my pants back up in order to get hard if not everyone will think i’m packing chicken nugget when in reality im not vegan but i brought the cucumber with me

why is this formatted like a poem

Because it is one

people are just posting pictures and not moments alsldjfjf im screaming if that ain’t bey

A relationship with no gender roles. We both hustle, we both cook, we both clean, we both pay, we both spoil each other.

literally gay ppl been doing this for years lol being straight sounds exhausting 

We know she’s just mad cause they have more melanin than she’s used to seeing

Lol I used to work at target and know for a fact that that’s literally one aisle sandwiched between several containing several an array of bland white dolls why would you fake a struggle like this?? It’s so flawed 😩😂

^^^^^^^

White girls are so pathetic

And…there’s absolutely no reason she couldn’t’ve bought one of those for her cousin, anyway? (I mean, no reason beyond “that cousin is probably being raised just like her and would do terrible things to the doll”)

i found this post on facebook this morning and went to My Generation to tally their dolls by skin color just to see how absolutely out of proportion the OP was blowing things. they have 106 dolls total on target’s website. 87 of these dolls are white. 46 of those white dolls are blonde. counting all their total dolls of color, you get 19 (and that’s being generous and tallying any exceptionally tan ones). only one of these dolls resembles someone east asian. so yeah, this lady only found 8 dolls (two of which are from seperate brands) and she’s still steamed when the brand she was looking at has 87 white dolls for her racist ass to choose from.

It got better!

“I’m only 19…”

91% said NO redemption for you

Translation: This went viral and now my racism is affecting me negatively so I am going to try to get sympathy with my age/ignorance with out actually doing anything.

Get real. People have been prepped for this for years of political leaders doing the same thing reading the same paper. Everyone can see though it.

“i got caught so give me a second chance”

how about no

Lmfaoooooo this is still funny

this video has stripped me of my will to live

since i had to see this so do you