i have more scars than the ones you can see on my wrists.

i have more scars than the ones you’ll find if you undress me.

i can’t help but be a scarred and damaged person, a broken and useless girl, a waste of space, with a messy life and too much shit for most people to handle.

i will never ever tell you how i feel. you should do best to remember that. it will be a complete and utter lie, unless i am totally smashed. i can’t help it. i’m worthless and useless and everything you could ever hate. it is just who i am, its just me.

i hate myself more than anything else in this world. i hate my clothes, my hair, my face. i hate the things you think i love most. you have to remember that most of me is a lie. i cannot be trusted, i cannot be helped and i wouldn’t deserve that anyway.

i don’t deserve anyone. i don’t deserve anything. and i will always feel that way because i have been left scarred and broken one too many times.

i have dragged those blades across my skin one too many times. i have pressed flames into my arm one too many times. i have said yes when i meant to say no one too many times.

you have screamed at me one too many times. you have left me broken and come back only to break me again one too many times. you have left me scarred one too many times.

now i am left here thinking about how i will never mean anything to anyone.

sitting here wondering when this pain will end, wondering when will i loose weight, wondering when anyone will notice me, and wondering if anyone cares.

but then again, i’m just that girl who never sleeps with too many secrets. the one that nobody cares about.

cause, after all, i’m just me, worthless and inconsiderate, fat and ugly, with scars on my body that will never completely fade away.

i hate me.

groovyb96 reblogged

lipstickstainer

more texas gothic stuff

a large sweet tea at chicken express costs 50 cents. nothing in 2016 costs 50 cents. the sweet tea tastes mostly like syrup, but something makes you go back for refills.
you scroll through your social media feed. close to twenty-thousand photos of the same sunset appear in a row. nothing like a texas sunset, the caption says. how many people took the exact same photo? how?
there’s a pair of horses tacked up in the buc-ee’s parking lot. there are no horse trailers in sight. nobody seems to be watching them. one cocks a leg lazily. there’s a chance they may be there out of their own free will.
the local public highschool has thirteen football fields, but frequently releases statements saying they cannot afford new textbooks. you see them water the fields every night, even though there is a drought warning in effect.
austin city limits fest ended four days ago, but you can still see lights and smoke and hear bands playing in zilker park. every time you get close to seeing what’s going on, there’s just an empty park. somebody tells you you can’t go into the festival without a ticket
the neighborhood moms play bunco together every wednesday night and go to church meetings every friday night, but none of them ever remembers attending any of these activities. you find empty rosé bottles scattered around the dumpster every weekend
the girls at school all wear oversized t-shirts with running shorts and chacos. the shirts seem to be getting longer while the shorts get shorter. one day, you notice their shirts brushing their chacos and you want to feel strange, but all you feel is a strong desire to monogram your own t-shirt

groovyb96 reblogged

groovyb96

i didn’t realize growing up meant dying inside but hey it’s whatever

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technicallity

sleepygyal

me: *keeps creating dramatic love scenarios at night and can’t fall asleep*

groovyb96 reblogged

little-queer-kid-deactivated201

Me: hello darkness my old friend

Darkness: I have a boyfriend

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okagaraga

Never disrespect a girl, to impress your homies

groovyb96 reblogged

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@ July please be good to me. I am so tired.

potatochipped

@ July lay me to rest you’ve made your point

groovyb96 reblogged

Sometimes

Sometimes, I want a fresh start. I want a fresh city. I want to leave everyone but a single person behind. I want to pretend I never made the choices I did. The worst part is, I want it all for me; I want it, because it’d make me feel a million times better and fuck everyone else.

groovyb96 reblogged

dopefiendwithahopescheme-deacti

lovingoliversykes

groovyb96 reblogged

If you love your Dad reblog this. If not he dies in 13 days.

sleepypalms

I fucking hate these posts

groovyb96 reblogged

marisatomay

I am held together by a handful of bad coping mechanisms and selective hearing

groovyb96 reblogged

pablosusername-deactivated20180

cloudbff

Me: depression isn’t bothering me Me: *forgets to eat, either sleeps too much or not at all, feels nothing 90% of the time, doesn’t change clothes for 8 days* Me: positive vibes ✌