in my worst moments, someone is always telling me of the countless people who love me. and i never have the words to explain why this brings me no comfort. i don't know how to tell them that the more somebody cares for me, the less i trust them. in my world, anyone who loves you can devastate you in a moment. anyone who promises to be there for you will leave the kind of wounds that never quite heal. how can i trust anyone who loves me? in my world, i think it is better to be hated than to be loved. at least then i'll know to expect the damage they give. at least then i won't be surprised when i am devastated once again by someone who claimed to only want the best for me.

“If you have to speculate if someone loves you and wants to be with you, chances are they don’t. It’s not that complicated. Don’t waste moments waiting and wondering. Don’t throw away your time dreaming of someone who doesn’t want you. No one is that amazing, and certainly not someone who would pass you up.”

“I still haven’t figured out how to sit across from you, and not be madly in love with everything you do.”

“Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it’s not because they enjoy solitude. It’s because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.”