The Holy Trinity

You either die an incel or you live long enough to become a chad.

theres something very funny about people writing these rich and detailed backstories for dnd characters as if the characters aren’t gonna still be level 1 when they start 

“my elf has been alive for a thousand years and has won ten thousand battles!!!” you’re still level 1 aint ya i guess you those ten thousand battles you won werent all that hard to win 

i know this sounds all grumpy but i legit mean it when i say it is hilarious when someone writes it in to their backstory that they were the Smartest Mage on the Planet that has researched magic for A Thousand Centuries and then the game starts and they’re like “yeah i know fireball whats up” 

the more detailed your character’s backstory is and the more you boast about the character’s competence and abilities, the funnier it becomes when you roll a 1 and your character just drops their sword and shits themselves. president of the dwarves for six centuries and you just shit yourself in a bar you were trying to find work in.  

I’ll never be able to reconcile Shel Silverstein’s art and stories with his appearance. He looked like he would gladly murder you with a shard of broken glass and then throw your body directly into a shark.

you have odd notions about masculine faces.

real gentle-lookin’ sneer

really gentle looking when not say, in the grainiest over inked newspaper photo you could find.

buddy it’s literally the photo he put on the back of The Giving Tree

KSJQLJWLEJDKENELNFLUEODJE

“there’s a series of checks and balances to prevent the president from doing whatever they want”

US citizens since 1933, colorized

“if goofy is a dog and pluto is a dog why is one a pet” is the cartoon equivalent of “if man evolved from monkeys why are there still monkeys”

The implication that Goofy is just a more advanced stage in canine evolution is oddly terrifying somehow

theres no such thing as ‘more advance’ in evolution. a dogman isnt more evolved than a dog, just as you are no more evolved than an seagull or coral, they are just fitted for different environments and have evolved as such

Goofy is not more evolved the Pluto, Goofy just fills a different ecological niche. While Pluto is just a scavenger and Goofy is an apex predator both play important roles in the ecosystem.

Goofy’s a domestic dog, Pluto is a real one.

“Why me? I’m domesticated!” is the deepest rabbit hole of a line in the entire disney canon

This is exactly the kind of discourse I joined this hellsite for

This booby trapped meth house

@just-remington Had some meth heads living in my condo complex in 2017. They would hang spoons around the fence around their back porch area. They knew that if the cops were coming, the fence would move and the spoons drop. DEA came one day and got them. I asked an agent if this was common and he said “Oh yeah.”

We had crackheads that did something similar with glass bottles.

@we-are-knight

> implying a Claymore, an early longsword, isn’t razor sharp and able to cut you like a hot knife through butter.

0/10.

The theory that medieval swords were dull and used for bludgeoning is straight Katana Gang propaganda. 

^ >Using Cold Steel gifs of their Zweihänder >Cold Steel (A company that makes swords on Katana levels of sharpness) Anyway, no swords back then were definitely sharp for sure. But with anything they will dull and chip with repeated use if not kept in check. But that goes with ANY sword, doesn’t matter if its Medieval or Oriental in origin. Gotta keep your sword sharpened with that whetstone on hand.

Also, medieval swords were built to withstand constant combat. More for lasting durability than precision strikes. Some swords were designed so that if the edge became dull or the blade was damaged or compromised, you could just hold the blade in your armor clad hands and just use the guard and grip as a fucking battle hammer.

Precision strikes were still very much part of Western swordsmanship long before feudal Japan developed the katana. You don’t get far in a melee blindly hacking, even the most basic men-at-arms got some form of training to increase their efficiency in killing.

There’s still textbooks detailing longsword tactics that show how central precision strikes were. The reason that zweihander has the parrying hooks part of the way up the blade and the leather wrapping underneath was precisely because they were designed to protect the swordsman’s hand when he was half-swording to get more precise strikes. Precision and efficiency is a must in any sort of combat.

The weight behind the pommel and to some extent the hilt was to counter-balance the weight of the blade so that the sword wouldn’t be unwieldy. Yes, it could be used as a bludgeon, but that was a tactic developed because the pommel was weighty enough, not because the sword was designed with that in mind.

Also isn’t there a post going around showing that old school swords weren’t even super heavy?

A basic arming sword weighed around 3-4 lbs and if well balanced felt like even less. Katana weighed about the same but were often less flexible and would stay bent instead of flexing back to straight.

Mall goth energy

fingers in his ass sunday

you know what day it is

addicted to fingers in his ass sunday

This is it, chief.

The past 4 years have been rough on doge

if you’ve read this post then you’ve read ender’s game

The bugman tweets as if this is negative thing lol

>new Attorney General

>powerlifter

>gamer

>has so much Testosterone that he’s bald

dont believe me?! HAHAHA

YOU FOOL

(Source)

TAKE TO THE WOODS

I’ll still never get over how much this picture looks like Hannibal Buress without actually being a picture of a human

A while back I read an article about new mothers complaining that since they brought home a baby their husbands suddenly developed an obsession with exercise and started spending their weekends and spare time on long bike rides and training for half marathons and spending much less time at home, leaving the mother stuck looking after the kid.

There is obviously a strong gendered component to this, where time spent on outside interests considered normal for a father can be seen as selfish for a mother, either neglecting her children or forcing her poor husband to look after them; if he puts the kids to bed so she can have one evening to herself he’s already going above and beyond the call of duty by conventional norms.

But in this case the “lazy husband” analysis is missing something important. These guys just used to drink and play video games, and yet they are so averse to changing nappies that they decide to become marathon runners? Speaking as a lazy person, this doesn’t sound like the laziest possible way of ducking out of childcare duties; why not just go fishing? Getting people to follow a physically gruelling exercise plan is very difficult, but apparently all it takes is a newborn.

I suspect this drastic lifestyle change is at least partly triggered by a personal identity crisis brought on becoming a father and feeling pressured to match up to an imagined archetype. Their wife is now a mother: you can tell because she’s holding a baby, breastfeeding a baby, doing baby things; she’s embodying the role 24/7 and she’s had nine months of literal build up.

But who is he? Just a dude who plays video games in a house that now contains a baby, and soon that baby is going to be looking at him and thinking yep, that’s my dad, the biggest, strongest, bestest man in the world, because at this point he is the only man in the baby’s world, the sole representation of masculinity, the Patriarch in the flesh, and he’s sitting there getting his butt kicked by teenagers on Xbox. Oops.

Now sure, he should be a good father by bonding with his child and sharing the housework and supporting his wife, obviously. But it’s not entirely surprising that some men say “I’m a dad!” then look in the mirror and find they don’t match up to what they imagine a dad should be, and want to do something about it.

Support 👏 Dads 👏 Becoming 👏 Their 👏 Best 👏 Selves 👏