Isn’t it ironic that all the internal pain I feel must be felt externally on my wrists?
Source: tumblr.com
the irresistible smile that spreads across your face when you experience a moment of joy is truly infectious. dopamine straight to the brain when your eyes start to crinkle at the edges. it’s ironic though, because no matter what mood I’m in, I can’t help but to smile back.
photoshoot
photoshoot
“She thought she loved you, but when you pop the cherry of a girl who didn’t want to be picked, you then, face the utmost consequences of your cruel intentions”.
“I wasn’t limitless, but when learned abstinence turns into rape, I then obey every word”.
“i’m just releasing the pain from utter existence.”
-what i really mean
it wasn’t pillow talk like he said.
he didn’t say i would be absolutely gasping for air.
he did, however, say, “it’s almost over” as he smothered my face with a pillow.
“DSM-5 Criteria for Depression Coma:
1. Feelings of excessive fatigue or loss of energy
2. Consistent Lethargy
3. Diminished ability to think or concentrate (see ADHD and Anxiety diagnosis)
4. Drowsiness or hypersomnia, sometimes insomnia.
5. Recurrent thoughts of death or recurrent suicidal ideation (see PTSD diagnosis)
(Commonly mistaken as symptoms to postpradinal somnolence or food coma)”
-my everyday.
“Sex is art.”
-rephrasing my #1 fear
“mama, one thing: retaliation? it’s everything.”
-my chosen last 6 words to my mother
younger self,
two things:
don’t.
and
why?
-what I would say to her if I met her
stopping? punished.
pain? punished.
air? punished.
choking? punished.
puking? punished.
gagging? punished.
-shower then head.
you criminal.
you willingly committed arson to my already burning soul.
I then had to breathe your oxygen to stay lit, because you smoldered the beautiful blaze.
Your touch burned me.
A fourth degree burn just from your corrosive fingertips.
My muscles and bones, destroyed permanently.
I feel continuously numb from you depriving me of my flare.
Remember, “only you can prevent wildfires”.
But you knew I was afraid.
That is why I always obeyed.
But when being utterly weak, turns into “you’re simply not unique”, I start to wonder, if you instead took my soul? would I have ever regain control?
The crack in the window left the disorientation of time into her being. Which, then, sprout the endless, constant, disassociation and utter spiral from the pure reminder of your existence.
a whirlwind of expression explode on the extremity of my tongue but seems to get lost in your utmost ability to make my words utterly useless.