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chronically correct

@gravygremlin

20 | Criminal Minds, Grimm, NADDPOD, OFMD mostly. also on ao3!

The term and concept of "rent lowering gunshots" has seeped into my mental vocabulary, and I've welcomed it there. Something I'm up to is gross and weird? Good, keeps the rent low. Keeps judgy people out. Post weird shit on your blog, do weird shit to your hair, be as fucky as your heart ever wants to be. If you're not the one making the profit, make yourself unprofitable. The aposematism of brightly coloured creatures is there to warn predators, not friends.

You have no moral obligation to make yourself palatable for those who would consume you.

You have no moral obligation to make yourself palatable for those who would consume you.
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i can’t decide if this is the single coolest girl in the world for making danger her middle name or the silliest for not seeing the raw power of “millipede danger” which is the greatest name i have ever heard

I read an AITA post a few weeks back about a woman who liked having snacks in the bath when she's had a long day (a result of residual trauma iirc - the bath was her safe space). Her brand new husband of three weeks, a man twice her age who had no job, made her pay all of his bills and do all housework, and spent all day every day gaming because he wanted to make it as a Twitch streamer, had always been fine with this; but, on the day in question, had whisked her bath snacks out of her hands as she was on her way to the bathroom and tried to bin them, telling her it was time to 'break her of that filthy habit in his home'. She told him if he ever actually paid anything towards the house she owns outright he might get a say, took her snacks back, and had her lovely bath. He was since giving her the silent treatment.

(Obviously the judgement was an avalanche of 'NTA and also he's abusing you', which she agreed with, and decided to kick him out, so happy ending.)

Anyway I told my husband about this and he was outraged. "I would never do that!" he told me, furious. "I would find it adorable if you had bath snacks!"

Since then, every time I try to have a bath (which I only do as a rare treat) after about ten minutes there has been an anxious scrabbling at the bathroom door.

"Elanor!" he says. "Do you have bath snacks? Do you need anything?"

My answer is irrelevant. He brings me wine and poptarts. Now I have bath snacks. I'm a bath snacks person. Last time he was literally sleeping on the sofa when I went for the bath. Somehow this still happened. I now have an eager bathroom butler. How did this happen. I have never been so decadent yet bewildered.

the joys of being sincere and giving compliments to friends: they’re so cool and since they’ve inspired it in me I shouldn’t hide the reaction from them

the horrors of being sincere and giving compliments to friends: what if I phrased it weirdly

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Still obsessed with Arthur Conan Doyle’s letter to Bram Stoker gushing about how wonderful a book Dracula is, but particularly how it makes such a good template for leaving fic comments, so I’m gonna to a BREAKDOWN:

  • Just say you loved reading it - “I am sure that you will not think it an impertinence if I write to tell you how very much I have enjoyed reading Dracula.”
  • Comment on a detail of the craft or structure that impressed you - “It is really wonderful how with so much exciting interest over so long a book there is never an anticlimax.“
  • Comment on how it emotionally affected you - “It holds you from the very start and grows more and more engrossing until it is quite painfully vivid.”
  • SHARE YOUR BLORBO FEELINGS - “The old Professor is most excellent and so are the two girls.”
  • Show appreciation for them as an author - “I congratulate you with all my heart for having written so fine a book.”

Next time you don’t know what to say on a fic you enjoyed, just use the ACD method~

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eye-opening tumblr post for me included the words "people are meant to be burdens" as in humans rely on and support one another and it's not a bother it's our purpose; to love and be loved in return. so if you ever think you're being annoying just remember we were made to love and it's going to be okay

explanation: a Quality Assurance Engineer is someone who (among other things afaik) does software bug testing, like in videogames or websites.

So the joke is that the QA tests the bar by doing a bunch of random unexpected things that might make it glitch.

Then when the first actual user of the bar does something that is normal and should have been accounted for way before the QA was called, everything goes catastrophically wrong because nobody bothered to think about anything other than ordering (and presumably profit?)

[image description: a tweet from Brenan Keller @brenankeller, reading: "A QA engineer walks into a bar. Orders a beer. Orders 0 bears. Orders 99999999999 beers. Orders a lizard. Orders -1 beers. Orders a ueicbksjdhd (random string of letters). First real customer walks in and asks where the bathroom is. The bar bursts into flames, killing everyone." End ID.]

Round 1, Week 1: Match 24 of 32

Propaganda as submitted by YOU, in initial entries, tags, and reblogs:

Mythbusters:

  • "I love how they would keep finding excuses to blow things up. truly admirable"
  • "Explosions."
  • "Science made fun! Sometimes the myths tested were just really interesting -- seeing a bull trot around the close confines of a makeshift china shop was one of the most fascinating things I've ever seen. So was the reaction of an elephant to suddenly seeing a mouse in its path. But others conveyed important information to the public, like how far the contents of a toilet bowl will spread into a room when flushed, or how much your judgement gets impaired when you drink a certain amount of alcohol. Plus all five members of the team were entertaining and likeable. It was a winning formula and they fully deserved all their success."

Seinfeld:

  • "George Costanza is the backbone of this website and society"
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Love when writers do an insane amount of unnecessary research for their fics. I follow an author that did like 8 months of intense research into 14th century Scotland so they could write smut about it, and guess what. It was some fucking incredible porn AND I learned about old Scottish politics

One of my favorite tricks for designing alien species/cultures is to take a real animal with an interesting lifecycle and think about what that biology would translate to if they had human intelligence

Example: silk moths as a base species

Because the moths themselves don’t eat and only live long enough to mate and then starve to death, the entire culture is made up of children and adolescents. The older children raise the younger ones, with families being made up of hatchmates from different years.

Because molts and eventual transformation into a short lived adult happen on a set schedule, families have a cycle— when your oldest set of siblings cocoon to become adults, you wait at the mating grounds and try to adopt their newborns after they pass. If that fails, you take any ‘orphans’ you can find.

Because death and birth are nearly simultaneous, they have a religion based around reincarnation, and infants with markings similar to a parent are often given their name. Claiming the offspring of a beloved family member is vitally important, because you want to be able to protect their soul and keep them close.

Because it’s hard to track the offspring of your male family members, there are sometimes major fights when a family sees an infant with familiar markings in another family’s clutch.

Between mating seasons, their culture is extremely food-oriented, because everyone is growing and silkworms eat nigh constantly. They spend most of their lives outdoors but sleep and shelter from bad weather in large family dwellings made from wood and the remains of the silk cocoons of prior generations.

everyone is really vibing with the silkworm aliens I see

Once the birds had learned how to initiate video interactions, the second phase of the experiment could begin. In this “open call” period, the 15 participating birds could make calls freely; they also got to choose which bird to dial up. Over the next two months, pet parrots made 147 deliberate video calls to other birds. Their owners took detailed notes about the calls and recorded more than 1,000 hours of video footage that the researchers analyzed.

[ id: screenshot from the linked article: "Two weak, older macaws, for example, became very close and even called out to one another "Hi! Come here! Hello!" from their respective screens" followed by a fucked up crying emoji man. /end id ]

funnytwittertweets
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Related: at a neuroscience conference I was at once there was a talk on how the "microslippages" against your fingertip when you lightly pinch something are generally enough for you to work out exactly how much force to grip it with to lift it without crushing it or dropping it.

[ID/A tweet by Cliff 🦖 [dinosaur emoji] Jerrison (@ pervocracy) saying "one of the most amazing things a human brain can do is when you shake an opaque bottle and get an idea of how full it is by how the weight shifts. there's got to be incredible math going on under the hood there" /End ID]