hello and welcome to my brain

the most overlooked aspect of this show is that god is a preteen girl

He’s trying his best!

god bless everyone involved in this

“Years ago a friend of mine had a dream about a strange invention; a staircase you could descend deep underground, in which you heard recordings of all the things anyone had ever said about you, both good and bad. The catch was, you had to pass through all the worst things people had said before you could get to the highest compliments at the very bottom. There is no way I would ever make it more than two and a half steps down such a staircase, but I understand its terrible logic: if we want the rewards of being loved we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known.”

— I Know What You Think of Me, Tim Kreider for the New York Times

after YEARS of seeing this quote online and finding it to be the most deeply and resoundingly profound writing i finally found the source article and absolutely nothing could prepare me for this opening paragraph

Animal snaps

sometimes a family is a single mother, a #woke lesbian, a dumb teenage boy, a gorgeous 25 year old dancer, a rich canadian, and a sad jewish doctor

The one thing you had going for you is that you’re all woke and shit. Kind of counters the whole lame virgin thing.

I was about to say “how do you know someone has done that unless it’s you, OP” but then I recognized the name and I went on twitter to check and sure enough he was my creative writing professor in college

No one gonna talk about how he called catholicism, Catholic canon

You know that’s the origin of the term “canon,” right?

00.04

if you c*nsor anything in a post you are l*gally required to put all of the omitted v*wels at the end as a footn*te

*eeoo

Okay th*n. *f you’r* sure about th*s. 

Old Macd*nald had a farm.  

*eieio

i’m going to shatter you like glass

FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT UHURA IS A GODDAMN ENGINEER, WHICH IS WHY SHE WEARS RED. SHE IS THE COMMS OFFICER BECAUSE SHE KNOWS HOW TO WORK THE EQUIVALENT OF THE SHIP’S HAM RADIO—THAT’S TECHNICAL WORK. SHE IS NOT KIRK’S SPACE SECRETARY.

And she speaks a bunch of languages and she’s so smart that when she lost her memory of everything, she learned it all again really quickly (with nurse chapel which was so cute)

Honey got skills and she’s a genius 

And she knows how to play the Vulcan lyre too!

Also, friendly reminder that Nichelle Nichols felt like quitting because of all the racism among the pay rates and production team, and fucking Doctor Martin Luther King Jr. himself wrote to her to convince her to stay because Uhura showed that there was a strong, valuable place for black people in the future. 

y’all know that john mulaney quote “the things crazy people say mean nothing to them but everything to me?”

every time i hear that quote, i think about how i got this light-up pen

i got this pen four years ago when i was working as a barista at starbucks. I was on the registers and taking the order of this woman, who ordered a nonfat latte, because she was “watching her weight”

so this guy behind her, whom no one was talking to, for some fucking reason says “wathing your weight? but what about the wait for your watch?“ (which is a completely unhinged response. like just complete Mad Hatter nonsense)

anyway this lady gets really uncomfortable and of the five people (me, him, her, the other checker, and the customer at the other register) who were now sucked into the uncomfortable silence, i decided that i should alleviate the tension by saying “you can’t wait for a watch; you don’t have the time”

and then he said “oh, quick girl!”, gave me that pen, got out of line, and left without ordering anything 

You pleased a mad fae trickster

The Beatles did not have a fuck to give

I can’t even name 5 Beatles songs and I find this hilarious.

They just loved messing with people. And I love them for that. They trolled before trolling existed.

this is literally the best video on the internet

are those the fucking jonas brothers

SPOTLIGHT: Titus Kaphar

For his exhibition at Jack Shainman Gallery, Titus Kaphar presents a painting show titled “Drawing the Blinds,” along with an extension of his 2011 Jerome Project titled “Asphalt and Chalk.” The former maintain’s Kaphar’s practice of bringing history into the present, and traditional artwork into the contemporary conversation.

Keep reading

Finally, some good fucking art.

Ooh, I quite like this. 

my ex told me a story today about this girl he went on a date with last year named santana who he spent a shitload of money on for an expensive ass dinner and won her all of these stuffed animals at an arcade who told him she wasn’t looking for a relationship and rejected his goodnight kiss and never spoke to him again and tbh i almost went

I can feel…the serotonin and dopamine dropping…i need to make…Crafts

i must make…

B…

B e a d l i z a r d

I have seen these things for years but never knew how to make them so I must thank op for this new knowledge

op has given me the best gift possible

ive been making them for four days

Never forget the guy who didn’t remember to hit anon before sending himself hate mail

Never forget. Never forgive. Never stop reblogging because HAHAHAHAHA.