open rp

“I just love shoppin’! How do ya’ll think this outfit looks on me?” Grandpa Spankenheimer said as he came out of the dressing room in an Elvis costume.

“Grandpa Spankenheimer,” the Whiterun guard said sternly, “You have committed crimes against Skyrim and her people. What say you on defense?”

“Golly gee, surely you must be mistakin’ me for someone else! I’m just tryin’ to try on some funny costumes!” 

open rp

Cousin Mel was plotting to steal grandma’s store once again when suddenly the doorbell rang. Who could it be?!

It was Michael Phelps at the door.

“I thought you were better than this Mel.” 

Cousin Mel scoffed. “Hah. Nice sunglasses tan, dweeb!” No one, not even Michael Phelps could stop her. She was GOING to get Grandma’s store, even if it meant killing grandma.

Suddenly, Grandpa jumped out from behind Michael Phelps! It was a deploy all along! “Cousin Mel! I cannot let you steal Grandma’s store from under our noses! It’s time I finally stand up for our family..”

“I can’t believe I fell for that trap! You’re too late, Grandpa! This weird creature thing gave me enough money to buy out Grandma’s store! You’ll never win! I WILL have that store!!!!”

“I knew this day would come…which is why I always come prepared…”

“…goodbye, Cousin Mel.”

open rp

Cousin Mel was plotting to steal grandma’s store once again when suddenly the doorbell rang. Who could it be?!

It was Michael Phelps at the door.

“I thought you were better than this Mel.” 

Cousin Mel scoffed. “Hah. Nice sunglasses tan, dweeb!” No one, not even Michael Phelps could stop her. She was GOING to get Grandma’s store, even if it meant killing grandma.

Suddenly, Grandpa jumped out from behind Michael Phelps! It was a deploy all along! “Cousin Mel! I cannot let you steal Grandma’s store from under our noses! It’s time I finally stand up for our family..”

“I can’t believe I fell for that trap! You’re too late, Grandpa! This weird creature thing gave me enough money to buy out Grandma’s store! You’ll never win! I WILL have that store!!!!”

“I knew this day would come...which is why I always come prepared...”

“...goodbye, Cousin Mel.”

open rp

Cousin Mel was plotting to steal grandma’s store once again when suddenly the doorbell rang. Who could it be?!

It was Michael Phelps at the door.

“I thought you were better than this Mel.” 

Cousin Mel scoffed. “Hah. Nice sunglasses tan, dweeb!” No one, not even Michael Phelps could stop her. She was GOING to get Grandma’s store, even if it meant killing grandma.

Suddenly, Grandpa jumped out from behind Michael Phelps! It was a deploy all along! “Cousin Mel! I cannot let you steal Grandma’s store from under our noses! It’s time I finally stand up for our family..”

open rp

“I can’t believe it’s already almost October!” Cousin Mel said to herself. “How am I going to try to steal Grandma’s shop this year….?”

*Michael Phelps looked up from his pool with a concerned face*

“Wait Cousin Mel, don’t you know that stealing is wrong?”

“I don’t care! I deserve to be RICH!!!!”

*Ryan Lochte emerges from non-Olympic pool*

“Hell yeah”

“Now THIS is a man who understand me!” Cousin Mel was delighted. “Will you help me make millions?!”

*Mark Spitz also emerges from the water*

Cousin Mel, do whatever is right in your heart. I’ll support you no matter what

“Thanks, boys! You’re definitely invited to my Grand Opening Luau at my new shop, Cousin Mel’s (located conveniently where Grandma’s store used to be!)”

“Ryan! Mark! Who the hell invited you all here?”

“Mel, don’t listen to them! All (Ryan) they speak are lies.”

“WHOA now hey there golly gee just wait a minute! Grandma’s store ain’t going nowhere, Cousin Mel! So long as she’s alive, that store belongs to her!” Grandpa Spankenheimer chimed in. “Please listen to Olympian Michael Phelps! Don’t try to swindle Grandma’s store AGAIN!”

open rp

“Golly gee! It’s been almost two months since Christmas! I wonder what the new season of spring will bring me…” Grandpa thought aloud. Suddenly, he heard his back window being shattered…! Was it destiny or a thief ??

It was one of my raptors. We must find it.

“A raptor?! What age are we living in?!” Grandpa was boggled. How could dinosaurs still be roaming the Earth?

golly gee what happened to my voice?

open rp

Grandpa Spankenheimer was beside himself. He missed Grandma. He needed a new beautiful lady in his life, but who could fill that role?

hay grampa

Grandpa suddenly felt strange. He no longer had the hots for a beautiful woman. “Hey there, handsome!” he said with a shaky voice

hope u like porcelin clowns that play songs when you wind ‘em up

“H…How did you know?!” Grandpa had never told anyone about his porcelain clown fetish before. His palms felt clammy. He had to tell him…but couldn’t find the words.

because since they’re wind up porcelin clowns that play music

THEY’D RATHe R 

S I N G

Suddenly Grandpa’s mind went blank. Sing?! Did he just say....

S I N G ? !

open rp

Grandpa Spankenheimer was beside himself. He missed Grandma. He needed a new beautiful lady in his life, but who could fill that role?

hay grampa

Grandpa suddenly felt strange. He no longer had the hots for a beautiful woman. “Hey there, handsome!” he said with a shaky voice

hope u like porcelin clowns that play songs when you wind ‘em up

“H...How did you know?!” Grandpa had never told anyone about his porcelain clown fetish before. His palms felt clammy. He had to tell him...but couldn’t find the words.

open rp

Grandpa Spankenheimer was beside himself. He missed Grandma. He needed a new beautiful lady in his life, but who could fill that role?

hay grampa

Grandpa suddenly felt strange. He no longer had the hots for a beautiful woman. “Hey there, handsome!” he said with a shaky voice

open rp

i’d kill for one of grandma’s fruitcakes right about now!

here i am

Golly gee thanks!