Thinking about Nancy going to Emerson, freshly broken up with Jonathan and finally free from Hawkins and the streets that have never stopped haunting her, ready to leave it all behind, only to start feeling so incredibly lonely.
She makes new friends and a part of her loves it, loves how light and easy life can feel. But another part of her feels so goddamn isolated from them because they don't know, they don't understand, and she'll never be able to share anything with them about the experiences that have changed her whole life forever.
And then there are the nights. The nights when she lies alone in the dark. The nights when she goes out and has fun. The nights when she gets drunk. The nights when she's with her friends until her friends leave and she's still there, in some club or at some party or wherever the fuck she's trying to stop feeling lonely that night.
And then there'll be a body, – a person, but in essence no more than a body – there'll be eyes meeting hers from across a room and there'll be something to drown out the loneliness, someone who might be her future but who's probably just another escape.
And it always goes the same: they leave the party, stumble towards the closest bed, take each other's clothes off while Nancy has already forgotten the other person's name; and Nancy doesn't even know what she's craving but it sure as hell isn't this.
And when she lies there, underneath or on top of some person – some body – going through prescribed motions and wondering why it never stops feeling performative, she always ends up thinking about blue eyes. Blue eyes in a freckled face, a simple kohl line underneath them. Painted lips in a smile so radiant it manages to ignite something inside of Nancy that she thought was snuffed out forever.
It always comes back to Robin. Robin, who ended up going to college in Indianapolis because she is nothing like Nancy; Robin, who chose to stay close to Hawkins while all Nancy could do was run away. Robin, whose voice she still hears every week when they call, but who she hasn't seen in months. Robin, the only person she actually craves to wake up with. And she wonders what the hell she's even doing in Boston.
Inspired by the song Those Nights by Bastille and that feeling of unfulfilled yearning