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Cured of My Mental Illness

@gothoffmymeds

I care more about being spoiled about what Chocolate Guy is making at the start of his tiktok videos than I do about Marvel movies. Don't post "chocolate guy makes a ____" in the description, I want to see him pour chocolate into an egg mold and then 2 minutes later be like "oohh shit " when I realize that it's actually a life size chocolate model of himself making a life size chocolate model of himself making a solid chocolate model of himself making a

today a first grader walked up to me, set a piece of paper down on the table in front of me, and said “homework time! it’s your homework.” and i said “alright, what do i have to do for homework?” and he said “hmmm… draw the best dinosaur you can do.” and so now i have that on my plate for the evening

I hate the "Oh ur posting without tags? how is anyone supposed to find ur post🥺" warning shit tumblr does now. the hand of god will deliver me unto others

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why is explaining a villains sad backstory always taken as an effort toward excusing their actions. why does the conversation need to involve the question of excusing anything rather than just making their present behavior way more interesting by complicating their feelings or their motivations. why is acknowledging complicated feelings or motivations taken as apologism in and of itself. why is everyone so incredibly boring

There's a handful of notes on this going "well fuck you, do you know how hard it is to BE the speaker and not have anyone greet you?" and uh, yes, yes I do, because I did those stupid ass soft skills/resilience/insert other assorted nonsense workshops for schools for a living for a while, and I still agree with this.

The key to being an effective speaker is the ability to understand your audience. You need to understand people in order to build a rapport with them. And you need to build a rapport with them in order to effectively guide them from where they are, to where you need them to be.

So. Here is the situation from the perspective of the audience: this random person, whom they have never met before and do not care about, is being paid by employers/school powers that be to come speak on a thing. In other words, the speaker is the one benefitting from being there. Meanwhile, the audience has likely been ordered to be there, for no immediate, tangible benefit in return. It is early in the morning, they are sleep-deprived and under-caffeinated, they have a shit ton of stuff on their to-do list, they are unconvinced whatever the speaker is going to say is going to be of any use or relevance whatsoever, and so they see this talk as a waste of time that they could instead be spending on sleep or at least finishing off things that are actually necessary for work/school. And now this rando, whom I repeat, is supposed to be the service provider, whose presence is already a pain, is asking for even more effort on the audience's part by asking them to smile and be chipper. All before saying a single other word that might convince said audience that they are going to get any benefit whatsoever out of being there. Fuck that.

You gotta understand, you are not some rock star that people are already invested in and actively want to see. Those get to do the "scream! I can't hear you! LOUDER!" thing. The fact of the matter is, you are probably someone your audience has no interest in seeing, and until you give them a reason for wanting to be there, you cannot ask them for even more emotional effort. That's not going to endear them to you.

I am by no means a particularly great speaker, but I can tell you now that I have gotten far more immediate rapport and engagement by simply going "hello hello, morning, how is everyone?" and then when I get the predictably unenthusiastic mass groaning and grumbling, and unenergetic "morning"s back in return, replying "heh, big mood. It's final project season innit; how sleep deprived are y'all? --yeouch, intense, well I'll try my best to keep this as painless as I possibly can; I'm here today to talk about--" etc etc. Simple, sympathetic, and while it's not the most energetic and enthusiastic thing in the world, it puts me on "their" side and opens a connection that I can build on for the rest of the talk, instead of instantly making my audience feel 10x more tired and hostile.

If you are not a speaker being paid to be there, but are instead someone giving a presentation for an assignment or presenting a paper or whatever, then I've found that being sincere and a little self-deprecating, possibly just a tiny bit vulnerable works pretty well: "Oh god, so full disclosure, I don't speak very often and I'm sweating bullets right now, and also I tend to babble like a bullet train when I'm nervous so if at any point you cannot understand me please ask me to slow down, but I have a thing I need to present, and I think it's pretty cool, and hopefully you do too." Your audience has probably been in your shoes before, and are now inclined to be nice to you out of sympathy.

In both cases, it's about understanding your listeners and where you stand in relation to them and using that to build that initial connection. You cannot demand connection; it never fucking works.

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Idk how to explain to some ppl but even in the most futuristic communist utopia where money and jobs aren't a thing anymore and we abolish all societal hierarchy, you can never revolutionize away the power dynamics between children and their guardians.

You can write laws on paper that children are equal to adults til the cows come home but children will always inherently be dependent on their caretakers. and that's not even a bad thing? that's just our species' life cycle. instead of having huge litters of offspring hoping some statistically make it, we tend to have a single baby that we parent intensively for many years. I think we need to focus more on fixing the ways adults treat children as children than trying to legislate children into mini adults for them to be heard. Like you can't abolish the social structure of family that's like trying to abolish friendship or love, my friend that's the human condition.

needle/pin sharpener.

no really, squeeze it. Does it feel like it’s got sand in it? is’s sharpening sand. Stab the tip of your needle into it back and forth and it’ll help put a sharp edge back on a pin or needle that’s been blunted by use, or has a little bit of rust on it. It can’t fix anything worse then a little of either, and won’t work on something REALLY blunted, but its a lifesaver.

also it is a pepper

It's not a pepper and it's not for sharpening!!

It may seem like it should be a pepper, since that would go better with the flavour of a tomato (and the mass produced modern ones are admittedly more pepper shaped), but it is and has always been a strawberry. Here are some antique emery strawberries, which are much more strawberry shaped, and some of them have seeds.

And it's for cleaning needles, not sharpening them. I can't imagine how jamming a blunt needle point around in a bunch of loose grit could possibly sharpen it in any significant way, and all the historical sources I've seen only talk about cleaning.

"Every sewer's work basket or work box should contain an emery bag, as shown in Fig. 2, through which to push a needle when it becomes rough, squeaks, or sticks in the material. An emery bag is usually shaped like a strawberry and consists of a rough denim bag filled with emery powder, which is a very hard material used for polishing metals. Such a bag may be purchased for 5 or 10 cents in any store that sells sewing materials. Needles often become rusted from the perspiration of the hands or from being left in damp places. The beginner may use a small emery bag to remove rust; or, a small piece of emery paper may be used instead."
"Use an emery whenever your needle does not slip through the cloth easily."
"An emery bag is inexpensive and is useful to keep needles polished and smooth. If the hands perspire and it is difficult to push the needle through the cloth, running the needle through the emery will relieve the condition."
"It was very hot to sit and sew. The needle would get sticky in spite of all the little emery strawberry could give it, and Beth's fingers had never felt so clumsy and uncomfortable."
"She polished her needles to nothing, pushing them in and out of the emery strawberry, but they always squeaked."

This patent from 1873 mentions an emery slab for sharpening pins, which is quite different from a cushion, and which sounds like it actually would work for sharpening.

"C is a slab of emery or other sharp and fine grit, for sharpening needles or pins"

Then later down the page it also says

"E is an emery cushion, secured in the body of the holder A, and is used for polishing needles and keeping them smooth."

So. Strawberry for cleaning. Not pepper for sharpening.

Gentle reminder - modern sewing tools are made from treated or plated metal, or stainless steel. In terms of human civilisation, this is a wild advance of technology. Needles are some of our oldest tools; rust was formerly ubiquitous, and attacked every form of everyday metal. A rusty needle tears fabric, or worse, stains it. The luxury and technology of rustproof needles and pins - forgotten in a few generations of human memory - and yet it is remembered in the strawberry. Memory is stored in the strawberry!

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Unfriendly reminder that all you idiots being like "yeah just pirate media now, fuck corporations!" posting links and just openly telling people where to download pirated media are why it's so hard to find safe, working sites for it anymore.

I've been doing this shit for over 20 years and the availability has gone down as it's become more mainstream. The more you publicly talk about all these sites the less there are. Shut up. Tell people in private or don't tell them at all.

every time I see LGBTQ discourse I think about that post that said masc cis lesbians get kicked out of bathrooms as cruelly as trans people do so why the fuck are some lesbians transphobic , and I think about how homophobes won’t check for your sexuality before calling us slurs and I think about how my local dyke March considers anyone who identifies as a dyke a dyke because fuck rainbow capitalism we are here to fight for our lives and I think about how my best friends are bisexual and I think about how lesbians have been loving each other in ways that the gender binary has never been able to understand(and never will) and I think about that post that says the worst thing the right did was convince queer people other queer people were the enemy

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the most powerful thing i've done is convince my mother that my binder is a "modesty bra" sjfhekdjdjfhjdj i fully have that woman believing that this is a common thing among my classmates who like to dress modestly, which inspired me to follow that trend. i've been telling her this since ~2014 and she still says "i washed your bra for you ^_^" when she washes my binder for me