Cool Kids

i’m learning very useful phrases thanks to duolingo 👀

“Translate this sentence: You are rich because of my rent, sir.”

hot person in the grocery store i’m sorry that i must bid you farewell but i’ve fulfilled my journey’s purpose in buying three bags of sweet kale salad i got what i came for and soon so shall you. now go on get. don’t make this more difficult. why can’t i quit you. i’m sorry it’s not our time yet but it will be. someday. we were built from the same star you know

women and fish would put aside their differences to beat the living hell out of me

love the implication that women and fish usually have some kind of feud

Boys lie so damn much. They can say “good morning” to me & I have to check to see if the sun is out.

Only female mosquitoes drink blood….. are you really going to use bug spray? Like a fucking misogynist?

they hate to see a girlbug winning

The universal human experience of packing underwear for a vacation like you’re going to shit yourself every day

Source: [x]

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okay but this is a power move above any other

It gets even better, because he was doing all of this on a pitch black night. This dude swam towards a lure, slapped at it with his glove, and when it got caught; he let himself float and tugged on the line so the fisherman thought he had hooked a 100+ pound salmon. Once he was finally up to the shore, he turned a flashlight on in the guy’s face and walked out of the water, saying “good morning, gentlemen. State fish and game warden, you’re under arrest.“

At this point, the guy who had reeled him in had literally fallen over in shock, and the other people with him were scared shitless. The warden whipped some citations out of a plastic bag in his wetsuit, made the trespassers sign them, asked if they had any questions, and then gathered all of their fishing gear. And he just. Walked back into the river. And quietly swam away, without another word.

This man is a legend.

warden coming out of his river to shame fishermankind

check out this salmon i drew in my lecture notes

hey here’s arizona senator sinema (a democrat queen!) killing the $15 minimum wage with a cute lil curtsy and probably doing an adorbs widdle pout behind her mask as she denies millions of workers a livable income, slayyy!

we should kill her

after this shallow defense she made, i think maybe it’s important to remember that kyrsten sinema was largely praised for both being a woman and the first openly bisexual US senator when she was elected. she basically campaigned on it, and has been riding off of the unconditional support she’s received from lgbt dems in arizona ever since. Sinema knows that she can get away with this bullshit, and she and others will continue to use her identity to deflect against criticism in this way. but she is not interested in the well-being of her state Or the people who defend her, and i really wish dems would quit falling for it! but i guess we hate to see a girlboss winning :/

fights I would pay to see: sigmund “everyone is attracted to someone” freud vs John “sexual desire is evil and cereal can and will fix it” Kellogg

Asked my mom who both has a MA in psychology and currently works for Kellogg’s to weigh in for the hell of it

enemies to lovers 500K slowburn

without a doubt the breakout stars of this election cycle are the 6′10″ lieutenant governor of pennsylvania and his rockabilly wife

he officiated one of the first gay marriages in pennsylvania, is committed to ending the war on drugs, and looks like thanos fucked jonah from veep. she is every single woman at a midnight showing of rocky horror. they live in a “restored car dealership” according to his website. i would die for them

i have never met john and gisele fetterman and i know almost nothing about them. but i know one thing for sure just like deep in my soul: he proposed at wrestlemania

lieutenant governor henry “lurch” rollins here doesn’t live in the official lieutenant governor residence, instead choosing to use it as a free recreation center and swimming pool for underprivileged children

once again: i would die for him

celebrities singing imagine was possibly the best thing to come out of this year. the way they came together to unite the working class against their stupidity while simultaneously permanently ruining The most condescending john lennon song in existence to the point of no return.. that was herstory right there

you’re laughing. the president is crytyping on twitter and you’re laughing.

some of yall really think politics is only about the presidency and it shows when you say shit like “i dont like biden so i wont vote” get a motherfucking vibe check and go vote blue so we dont have a conservative majorty supreme court for the next 30 years holy shit

wow there are really some of yall out here adding the absolute stupidest fucking comments onto this post huh!! the amount of people I’ve seen in the past day pull some shit out of their ass about “biden is just as bad as trump” is astounding tbh. 

firstly, the central points of this post are that you need to vote DOWN THE BALLOT because newsflash the presidency isn’t the only election and that voting biden does more than just him it also allows RBG to retire and gives us our first female vp and a progressive presidential cabinet. 

now for yall acting like biden and trump are the same im going to highly encourage you to do a few things. 1, go read biden’s policy platform. 2, go look at every politician and organization who has endorsed him… people like bernie and warren and obama… organizations like the congressional black caucus 3, turn on the news and go read up about how trump is sending in federal officers to brutalize peaceful protesters and how he threatened to send in the us military, and how he’s blocking the cdc now from collecting coronavirus data. 

does biden suck?? uhhh yeah no shit that really isnt news. am i happy that biden is the nominee?? FUCK no. but im not stupid ignorant or selfish enough to say some asinine shit like “oh well i dont like biden so you know what fuck it trump can stay” ???? what are yall planning to do exactly, storm the capitol?? redo our entire political system in the next 3 months???? oh my fucking god. this is the choice we have right now. biden or trump. that is your choice. im not asking you to like it but im asking you to pull your head out of your ass and understand that every single progressive politician and organization you support is begging you to vote biden because they understand that if trump is reelected we will NEVER have a chance at creating a better more progressive system. yall want to have a progressive president in 2024? 2028? then go vote for biden so we make it until then. oh my god. 

If trump wins the next election, we’re looking at a Conservative Supreme Court for potentially the rest of our lives.

We’re alreading removing the separations of Church and State through recent Supreme Court rulings. I want you to imagine future Conservative Supreme Court rulings on the following cases:

And that’s only the start of their list of demands. If they get those past, they’ll be back with even more extreme demands, and there will be no one left in a position to stop them.

So Trump has released a list of potential Supreme Court Justices.

A majority of those are Trump appointees. 

I am reblogging this again, for reference.

These are the people Trump announced to replace RBG, before she even passed away.

Now, these are the people being considered for the Supreme Court to make it a 7 - 2 breakdown. 

If Trump is re-elected, one of those people WILL take RBG’s seat. 

They will help lead a predominantly Conservative Supreme Court for decades to come. Some of them openly opposed LGBT and Reproductive Rights. 

I want to put below what AOC just posted on instagram today 9.19.20: 

https://www.instagram.com/p/CFU6sUHn73X/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

“Voting for Joe Biden is not about whether you agree with him. It’s a vote to let our democracy live another day. That’s what this is about. We need to act in solidarity and protection for the most vulnerable people in our society, who have already experienced the violent repercussions of this administration. And the reason we need to do that is because yes, the political middle is willing to sacrifice immigrants; the political middle too often is willing to play both sides when someone dies to police violence. Absolutely. That’s why we need to show up. We need to show up, because if we don’t show up, those people don’t get protected. Because no one politician is the answer. No one president is the answer. YOU are the answer. Mass movements are the answer. Millions of people are the answer. I’m sorry to tell you, you’re not going back to brunch. We’re not going back to brunch. That’s not happening.”

I also would like to add some of the positions that Biden has taken which are ASSUREDLY NOT THE SAME AS TRUMP 

This is progressive, this is a start. No presidential candidate is perfect. Voting is about choosing the candidate that is closest to change you want to see. VOTE BLUE AND VOTE FOR BIDEN

Sources: https://www.bbc.com/news/election-us-2020-53575474, https://joebiden.com/joes-vision/

idk who needs to hear this but when your english teacher asks you to explain why an author chose to use a specific metaphor or literary device, it’s not because you won’t be able to function in real-world society without the essential knowledge of gatsby’s green light or whatever, it’s because that process develops your abilities to parse a text for meaning and fill in gaps in information by yourself, and if you’re wondering what happens when you DON’T develop an adult level of reading comprehension, look no further than the dizzying array of examples right here on tumblr dot com

if you have cool weird parents you don’t get credit for being cool and weird. if ur mom raises lizards and teaches interpretive dance and named you Genesis Wizard you had an unfair advantage and, after adjusting for inflation, you’re a normie

Coworker: nice day out huh?

Me, who watched a 2hr documentary about the Hindenburg disaster the night before and is desperately trying to share the information i learned: yeah, a real nice day, not at all like May 6, 1937 in Germany.

Ima just leave this one here

That. Fucking. Part.