our cat is a MENACE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Recently discovered, fully by accident, that the trick to feeling like you have more time in the day is to actually do shit with the time that's there, which seems fake and wrong and it's frankly infuriating that it works >:|
I think my favorite bit i do with customers is when white women are like ‘i dont know what to getttttt’ and i hit them with the ‘you should be bad~ 😈’
Saying ‘you should be bad!!’ In like Gay Voice to a white woman at starbucks has like the same psychological impact as going like ‘who’s a good boy?’ To a dog. It makes them so excited in a really endearing way.
DID YOU ALL KNOW THAT YOU CAN DO WHATEVER UOU WANT WHEN YOURW MAKING ART ISNT THAT WILD
i have no defense against this. you've got me
the fish in an aquarium when you feed them their pellets
This too is yuri
diversity win! these birds that hate eachother are transgender
Does anyone wanan play ants with me?
OK can i be the crumb
FUCK no your the wet soil pile
Defining yourself by your romantic relationships is so unhealthy like what if he dies sis what then
the friar to juliet when she came to talk about romeo
the "you aren't friends" really sells it.
anxiously explaining to my friends that i won't go to drag brunch not because i'm anti-drag but due to my terror of crowdwork
tumblr deleted my last confessional post so here’s a new one:
when i was like 6 my grandparents got me an awesome dollhouse (playmobil haus 5301 if anyone needs to know). for some reason, i had in my head that one day, god would shrink a bunch of people until they were the size of polly pockets and the world would be so cruel and scary for them. so every night i would pray to god that if he did that, that he would please put the tiny people in my dollhouse so i could provide for them. and every night, in case it happened, i would put water in a little cup for them and make their little beds so they’d have somewhere warm to rest after finding out they would be tiny forever. i told my friend in school about this and he said “oh my dad’s a wizard dont worry he can make them grow again” and then i felt at ease and never worried about it again.
hate the way brits say penalized. PEENalized. wtf.
is this one of the words americans say wrong on purpose because they don't want to say a naughty word.... that big naughty word.... you cannot say it... they won't let you say it... im gonna say it...
wrong on purpose? wrong like "penalty"? wrong like "penitent"? y'all out there saying "pee-nalty"? you gonna throw me in the pee-nitentiary? dear god.
Are you gonna suck my "pennis"?
onlinebeast you rapscallion !
I never go on twitter (because, you know, it’s twitter) but I just had a look at it to check up on Hank and I’m glad to see he’s being *extremely* Hank about this
wizards are predisposed to evil bc that's just what academia does to you
the worst is wanting to create and create and create but being trapped in a body that is so so so so tired
Just remembered how my old boss used to say “allied forces” any time dragon flys showed up when we were out working in mosquito infested swamps
i rate fox emojis
a solid fox. good rendering. looks soft. 9/10
an adorable stylized boy!! i’d give him my wallet. 11/10
a simple boy, bold lines. but lacks personality. 6/10
she is adorable and well-groomed. i love her. 10/10
this thing ravished my trash can and stole my first born. 4/10
a tiny boy! hes shaped like a friend. 9.5/10
she is round and kind. i trust her. 10/10
a distinct style, though he too lacks any depth. 7/10
he is kind. but something behind is eyes is hiding something. 8/10
darkness consumes me. 0/10