anal sneezes are cute as shit

sorry iphone the word i was looking for was “animal” sneezes better luck next time

this is not what i want to be remembered for

Look at that snatched waist and sock bun. She’d do numbers on Instagram

this website was a mistake

Someone ahead of me on the escalator farted and I had no choice but to let my body be dragged through the entirety of the fart. fuck this

yes ur allowed to have other friends u just have to love me more

I feel u paul

MILF: Minion I'd Like To Forget

Every “quirky” tumblr post

Do sexual act with me then do nonsexual act with me

(500,000 notes)

shove your cock in me and then take me to see the imax 3D screening of ratatouille

can lizards be stopped?

short answer: no

what is the long answer?

definitely not

what do they want this time

when u call for ur cat n u hear the lil pap pap pap of their feet as they come to u

reblog if u agree

people who scream when the teacher turns off the lights