When I look in the mirror I see a Unicorn

Compilation of some of my favourite vines. In no particular order.

mmmMMMAAAAAAAAA. my snek likes to scream at the world

So last night was Food Night. As usual, Penelope was being a butt, but eventually decided that she wasn’t interested in having dinner. So I went to toss the rat in a baggie.

Apparently I got distracted by something in the meantime, cos when I went to bed a few hours later, all my stuff from the shelf over her tank was on the floor, and her tank was empty.

Great.

So search the shelves, search the floor, search the drawers. Under the bed, in the hamper, behind the catbox. Still no Penelope. Call my roommates to help me and we flip the bed. Nothing.

Now I was pretty certain she couldn’t have gotten out of the room because the door was shut and there’s no clearance for her to squeeze under, and we were in the living room so there was no way she could wiggle past us.

Commence flipping of the couch and tossing the bathroom anyway.

Just as we’re about to start tossing the guys’ room, one shouts out he’s found her.

THIS BITCH

had been sitting behind the curtain

watching us look for her ass for over half an hour at 3 in the morning.

Just downright disrespectful.

That’s absolutely hilarious 😂

My smol child

you’re gonna want to unmute this

Family gathering.

MOOOOOM, AUNT CAROL IS HEEEEEERE

Aunt Carol is fucking ripped.

reblog if you love aunt carol

Da work station. :P

I can’t fucking breathe. Holy shit. This is basically my entire personality and interests in a video. I will never recover from this.

STOP IT

I can’t even pretend for a second this isn’t something I would do lol

POSSESSED !

Simple, but meaningful image.

My version of an engagement ring

Throwing Q-Tips at Cat (source)

are cute dates and rough sex too much to ask for