Diluc: Do you want to go out after this drink?
Venti: Why would you want to take me out on a date?
Diluc: It's 3 am I need to close the damn bar hurry up.
Hc that in the modern/high school AU Benny boy gets sick so often that the teacher thinks that he's faking it but no, he's actually sick that often (some students think that Bennett is just a rumor or ghost story told by other students)
Kaveh watches cartoons all day AND does all of his school work
My first experience with a Kaeya Main as a Diluc Main (Genshin Co-Op is wild bro)
Cyno: I think I have ligma
Tighnari: What’s ligma?
Cyno: LIGMA BALLS!!! So basically, let me explain. Ligma isn’t a real disease or a real word but it sounds like one. So it’s like an easy way to get someone to ask “what’s ligma” because it sounds like you have a disease or illness. So then when someone asks you say “ligma balls” (which phonetically sounds like “lick my balls”) it’s easy to lure someone into a funny joke and then it insinuates that they want to lick YOUR balls. So this is pretty hilarious on a multitude of levels. Firstly, (obviously) the other person doesn’t want to lick your balls, so it’s funny that you made them say something which demonstrates their desire to lick your balls when they in fact do not want to lick your balls. Secondly, it’s onomatopoeic, almost an onomatopoeic pun, so it’s pretty funny that “ligma” is phonetically interchangeable with “lick my”, at least in an certain accents. It may be difficult to achieve the same result with different accents, as some accents will hard pronounce the “ck” whereas others will omit the “ck” into a “g” sound, taking slang and cultural pronunciations into account, resulting in “ligma” instead of “lick my”. This makes it easy to fool those who are used to “g” pronunciations as a replacement for the “ck” plosive, or other variances. Do you get it?
-in the teapot-
Xiangling: uh, traveler, why do you have a statue of guoba??
Traveler: why don't you have a statue of guoba.
Xiangling:
_____
It's a conversation piece*
honestly, tartaglia is gonna be so mad when he finds out the unknown god nerfed the traveler. What do you mean you used to have wings? YOU USED TO HAVE A GOLDEN SWORD??
Tartaglia like: hey who's/where's the unknown god. I just wanna talk
-the return of the dodoco phone-
Venti: *rummages through his belongings, trying to find the ringing sound, before reluctantly picking up* alice?
Traveler: no?
Venti: ah! traveler! Well, this is surprise. Are you in fontaine right now?
Traveler: yes and-
Venti: so, how is it? I hear the water is great this time of the year. Hehe~
Traveler: no listen, i need help-
Venti: furina?
Traveler: yes!
Venti: should i send mommy or daddy archon to aid you?
Traveler: *deadpan* don't ever call them that again.
Venti: ehe~
Traveler: please ask zhongli to send yanfei, it's important. Pretty please?
Venti: hmm... sure, i'd love to,
Traveler: great! Then-
Venti: -unfortunately, i'm currently in solitary confinement with klee so-
Traveler: stop, you can't fool me, solitary means only one.
Venti: well, I'M in confinement, klee is keeping me company.
Klee, in the back: DOES THAT MEAN ARCHONS DO HAVE A MOMMY!??
Venti: ...traveler, i'll call you back.
neuvillette, gloomily: my archon wears me as a scarf sometimes when i'm in my otter form.
yae miko: my archon ghosted me for centuries without contact because she had her sister die in her arms.
neuvillette:
-oh this one is interesting-
Charlotte: ...again, it's such an honor to get an interview!
Neuvillette: *reading a book* sure.
Charlotte: so. What does our chief justice do in his free time?
Neuvillette: oh, i have no free time.
Charlotte: pardon? Oh, but-
Furina: NEUVILLETTE!!!
Neuvillette: *drops book* apologies, but i must end the interview here. Someone will lead you out.
Charlotte: euh...
Neuvillette, outside the door: QUOI!? QUE VEUX-TU!!?
Furina: NE ME CRIE PAS DESSUS, POISSON!!!
_____
*what? What do you want?
*don't shout at me, fish!
Translate helped me a bit but i'm 90% sure these are right, or at least, could be.
Feel free to stick to the results of this poll.
I have like, 50 euros left but like. I can probably sell the rights to my firstborn child (which would be hilarious)
Paimon:Fontaine is finally right in our sights!
Aether:I guess we need to start coming up with an idea to meet with the Hydro Archon.
Dramatic light hits
Furina: *atop the elevator* Helloooooo my good bitch! Welcome to the nation of hydro!!!
……..
Paimon:*whispers* This place feels unsafe. It’s been 5 seconds and she scares Paimon more than Ei.
Aether:I’m glad we’re both feeling it.
Furina:I can hear you!!!
Are you really enjoying what you're writing if you're not acting out an entire sad conversation that you have yet to write, bringing yourself to tears through it?
CAN U STOP CAN U MAKE HAPPY CHARACTERS FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE
Happy characters are not really happy if they have never experienced sadness.