This is relevant once again. I apologize if you are a real human getting blocked/reported.

One of the best letters I’ve ever seen just popped up on my Facebook memories. Still makes me laugh.

As today is the 50th anniversary of the moon landing, it’s a great time to revisit Dinah from Devon’s memory of this historic event. And yes, still makes me laugh.

Today is the 54th anniversary of the moon landing, but Dinah’s diary entry is still absolutely magnificent.

OMG GRINDR UNIONIZING TOO????????

(link to bypass paywall)

After the Harry Potter show is finished airing, Jk Rowling is going to announce that Sirius was bisexual the whole time and you fucking airheads are gonna praise her for her bravery.

Toddler accidentally cursed himself into an identity crisis today.

He’s been crossing stuff out with chalk. He asked me to write his name for him, crossed it out, and had a panicked meltdown because he thought it meant he didn’t exist any more.

Every hour or so he asks me “am I [his name?]” and wants reassuring hugs.

I’m enjoying the implication that he was perfectly delighted with arbitrarily erasing things from existence until it affected him personally

That’s just how toddlers are.

my balcony blocks my view of the playground, but I heard one child yell "I FOUND A FROG" with a great deal of excitement and now there is screaming, so I'm filling in some blanks

situational update: a little girl screamed "LEAVE HIM ALONE" and now there's noises that sound suspiciously like a child getting wailed on by a wiffle ball bat

further update: parent has been called to the scene. distribution of fault is underway. bat appears to have been confiscated.

bat has been returned under the promise of not deploying it once more against brothers. the pause and "but tell him to leave the frog alone" tells me it will likely come back into play shortly.

as expected, frog was bothered again and frog warrior took up her weapon once more. all children are being collected to leave on charges of acting "like y'all have NO sense"

personally I stand with frog defender on this issue

#justiceforfroggirl

actual diary entry from when i was in 5th grade oh my god

5th grade you was correct about everything actually

We Love Deciphering First Days Of Kindergarten Handwriting

posting this isnt even a privacy issue bc these absolutely do not spell anyones names. go ahead, try to decipher them. you cant. i know what theyre supposed to say & there is no way in Hell that information can be extracted from this

[ID: the name line at the top of 3 different worksheets. on each is written a jumble of letters and other markings, none of which spells anything and most of which is totally illegible.]

when i say you cannot extract the information i mean You Simply Can Not. you think you can. You Cant. i do not have a Tom in my class

Baby names “🍄(➿pQ,” “b♓️r,” and “✝️⭕️〽️”surprisingly on the rise

Hello! My job involves inputting people’s information from forms they filled out by hand! Bad news! Adults are barely better!

This is so rad.

Lying to children is fun when they know you are being ridiculous. When you hold up a carrot like “guys look at this huge Cheeto” and they all scream “NOOOOOOOOO that’s a CARE-OTT!”

“What? No, it’s my giant Cheeto.”

“NOOOOOOO!”

When I was a camp counselor a fellow counselor claimed that any silly camp song we sang was “his next hit single” and we should all follow him on SoundCloud and he stuck by this daily and it never ceased to amuse both the adults and the children.

When children are small and learning to count and you say the numbers out of order? Peak comedy.

“How many toys are there? Let’s see… oneeee, twooo, six!”

“NO! One two three!”

“What? Are you sure? Let me try again. One, two… six?”

“Noooooo!”

Once reduced a toddler into a fit of giggles by singing “A B C D E F Q.”

I’ll never forget the time my parents said they were going out for a few hours, and left my siblings and me at home by ourselves (ages 9-14), and instead of going nuts or just sitting around, we all rushed and did our hair and makeup and got dressed as fancy as we could; sister pulled out the wine glasses and grape juice and made an hors d'oeuvres platter, another googled how to play poker, pulled out chips from a different game, dimmed the lights, and we set up a fancy 4-person gambling den at the kitchen table and played until my parents said they were on their way back with dinner. Then we quickly picked everything up, washed our faces, changed back into our casual clothes, and pretended nothing ever happened. They never found out.

How does anyone hate kids they are so funny I sold tickets to incredibles to this little girl and her mom and she’s like mom are we sitting next to each other and the moms like ya and the kid screamed YES so loud it broke my ears

The other day I was bringing an older gentleman up the hill in a golf cart and we drove past this huge YMCA group of kids like 100 kids and driving past the first chunk like 10 of them yelled out “let me on” in unison and then since I’m driving so slowly to be safe, halfway in some kid leaned up and said “do you play fortnite” and I told him I played a little and he just pointed and shouted “THIS GUY PLAYS FORTNITE” and then like 20 kids started talking to me all at once about fortnite

A kid asked me if I lived in the ambulance. I said yes.

The hero we deserve

When I was on register at Kohl’s a little girl came through with her grandma and she was so very excited to tell me the meaning of her name (I think it was like warrior of god) and she begged her grandma for her phone so she could google to find out what my name means too

i wear two spinner rings on one finger and one time at my last job a young girl (probably 6-8) said “your ring is very pretty” and when i showed her it was two rings she GASPED and said “does that mean you’re marrying two people?!”

I have this necklace with a mermaid on it that I wear to work a lot and I got asked by a kid if it gave me magic powers. I leaned in real close and told her in a low voice it gave me magical girl powers but it was a secret. She got this real serious look on her face and said to her mom “that lady has superpowers, don’t tell anyone or the government will take her away”.

The other day i had to give a speech at my school despite my horrific fear of public speaking and afterwards i had kid come up to me and say well done to me. It was so cute.

god I love tiny kids

there was a kid in one of our science camps and he spent the whole week in a lab coat and goggles screaming “CHEMICALS” at the top of his lungs. he wouldn’t even tell us his name for the first two days just screamed CHEMICALS instead.

I was watching these kids at church today and one of them screamed and threw a toy car into the wall and it broke and the other one looked over calmly and said “does your insurance cover that?”

I was taking the drink order for a family at work and I asked their kid what he wanted to drink and he just looked at me with a completely deadpan expression and said “vodka” and me and the parents just fucking lost it

kid I used to babysit asked why my lips were different (she was two), and when I told her that it was because I was wearing lipstick, she yelled, “MAYA, I WANT LIPITZ.”

I work in a school and every time I draw anything on the board (I am a terrible artist and usually resort to stick men), the kids will all go ‘I love your picture, that’s a great drawing Miss’. So blindly supportive.

One time my younger brother ordered a “non-alcoholic fanta” at a hotel bar and the bartender lost his shit and I was never the same man

When I was student teaching, I was taking my fourth graders back from lunch and noticed one little girl looking longingly at the playground, where the younger kids were having recess. She heaved a big sigh and said, “I used to be that free.”

oh my god little kids in the library are the BEST one time i was looking for a book and a little girl tried to help me cause we always help HER find the books she wants. sometimes when i’m helping them check out they’ll tell me about the books they’re getting. i know so much about dog man.

oh man! another hilarious thing kids in the library do! they will straight up TELL ON THEIR PARENTS!

mom: the book was like that when we checked it out

child, innocently confused: i thought (little brother) did that though?

dad: yes that’s our correct address and phone number

child, barely paying attention: we MOOOOVED!! :D

parent: we never checked that book out

child, trying to be helpful: yes we did, that’s the one we lost at grandma’s house, remember?

me, fighting laughter and trying to decide whether or not the enter the child’s testimony as official evidence or not

I know I’ve told this story on Tumblr before, but one of my favorite retail experiences was when I was stocking shelves once and dropped a couple of small plastic toys, and a little girl ZOOMED up, grabbed them, held them up to me, and when I thanked her, said “I’m closer to the floor, so it’s TEAMWORK! :D” and zoomed off back to her mom

I was telling a kindergarten class (4/5 year olds) that we’re hosting a book fair next week and they would need to ask their parents for money. One girl very excitedly told me she has “one money” in her piggy bank. Her classmate, vibrating with excitement, said, “I have TOO MUCH money! I have ten dollars!”

a little boy, maybe around 7, looked at our piano at the museum and asked me very politely, “why doesn’t it have all 88 keys?”

I googled it for him after the tour, because even I didn’t know how many keys a piano was meant to have, or why this one had fewer (earlier pianos were just Like That, seems to be the answer)

we love baby nerds in this house

a marathon route ran past my apartment this morning and from my window I heard a small child yell at the top of her lungs, utterly bewildered, “WHERE ARE THEY ALL GOING???”

Once I was in a play where my prop was a tray of cookies. The cookies had to be real because we ate them in the scene and since they were my prop, I was in charge of making sure nobody ate any off stage so we wouldn’t run out of them before we even got to opening night.

Well, half way through dress rehearsals we start running the scene complete with cookie eating and it turns out we have plenty. More than we’re going to need for the show. So the 9 year old in our cast (who had shown admirable restraint up until now) walked up to where I was guarding the cookie tray backstage during a scene neither of us were in.

She silently looked at the trey and then up at me as if she had also done the math that we had a cookie surplus. I silently took out two cookies and handed one to her. She looked back into my eyes, said “We must never speak of this.” and then turned and scampered away.

I almost choked on my cookie

The two year-old is now a solid two and a half. Just now, he was sitting on the couch playing with his pretend flip phone and he frowned and said “for gods sake. My battery is empty.”

The other day at breakfast I asked him if he was going to eat any more of his oatmeal and he said “no, I think I’m just gonna move on with my life.”

Today we were walking along and he asked me “How many Octobers is it today?” I told him it was the 21st. 

He tried a bite of his hot soup at dinner and made a face and said “Mama, my soup is a little too temperature for me.”

Upon being served 1% milk for the first time, instead of his regular 2%: “is this water?”

Me: “no, it’s milk”

Kid: “but are you sure?”

Came up to me the other day, the middle of his pants totally soaked, and said “mama, I’m having a situation called ‘I peed in my pants.’”

I don’t think I even told you guys about the six months he spent saying “fuck” instead of “truck.”

I have to laugh at the folks in the notes claiming this is fake because “no 2-yr old is that advanced”. My guys, I work at a daycare almost exclusively with 2-3 year olds and let me tell you some of the wild shit I heard this last week alone,

“Uhhh, i ASSUME we’re going to the playground soon??” -2.5 year old girl

“[3 year old boy] pushed me because he doesn’t have a manners.” -2 yr old girl

“Did you spill your water?” “No no no no it’s not a concern” -2 yr old boy (while running away, dripping wet)

Kids are hilarious and smarter than you think

If you don’t have a lot of interactions with young children:

All this, and also, they can tell you lots about their favorite things. My 2 year old nephew can tell you all about Star Wars (the 8 movies he’s seen at least) and loves going out of his way to bring up how Anakin was good and bad and good again when he died. Trust me, little kids learn and mimic and reenact all the things they get attached to. Also, he named his first fish Jengo Fett, and all following fish Boba Fett, so juries still out on how much he understands clones.

Kids pick up the language that’s used around and to them. Mannerisms too. They are tiny, efficient mimics and it will come out at the WEIRDEST times. Young kids will ABSOLUTELY say all the stuff listed here.

My cousin was somewhere between two and three, and I’d just arrived at her house, and she’s animatedly telling me a story of some kind, and I listen as I make my way through the house, get to the couch, and kick my shoes off. She stops dead in the middle of her sentence, puts her hands on her hips, levels me with a glare the likes of which I haven’t seen since, and goes, “WHAT are they doing there? Do you think the box at the front door is for DECORATION?”

Her mum, standing in the kitchen and watching all this, was GOBSMACKED. Apparently she said that exact phrase more often than she realised, and her kid had picked it up verbatim and started using it on unsuspecting guests (me).

(I got up and put my shoes in the box at the front door immediately)

My family’s lore includes the time my mother offhandedly said to Cousin’s son–who was maybe five–that Cousin’s wife certainly did have strong opinions about some minor thing, and the kid let out a sigh and said, in the driest and flattest and most world-weary tone you’ve ever heard, “Tell me about it.”

once i was helping with a class of 3 year olds and during drawing time one girl asked for a lion, specifically a lioness. i drew it and she just looked in silence so thinking she wanted a more liony lion i was like “do you want me to draw a boy lion next?” and she gives me this 🤨ass affronted look and says “umm she doesn’t NEED a man.”

Kids will do three things reliably:

From The Animation Guild on Instagram:

“Congrats to the WB and Cartoon Network production workers for filing an NLRB petition to unionize and demand voluntary recognition! Show your support to help them get the representation they deserve! #unionstrong #weare839 #production strong”

copying and pasting the comments i added to the disney tva prod unionization efforts post because this time, IT'S US, BABY!

if you're not in this job, you would never know how intense, involved, and straight up complex animation production is, but because it's mainly administrative, behind the scenes, and most skills are taught, production staff are often viewed as highly replaceable and unimportant. not everyone is nice to us, and more and more studios are stripping production personnel of our "corporate" status, meaning if the show ends or gets cancelled, studios aren't required to relocate us to another one. when this happens to artists, the guild protects them, but production will lose all benefits and will need to file for unemployment until they can find a new job (which isn't easy in the animation industry these days!). remember, a season of a show takes only about a year and a half to make. losing all benefits and having to file for unemployment every year and a half is NOT a way to build a career nor is it a stable and sustainable way to live!

because our roles in animation are rarely talked about, here's some of what production staff does:

STORYBOARD AND ANIMATIC

RECORD

DESIGN AND SHIPPING

POST

CONTRACTS

LEGAL, TRACK READ, TIMING, CHECKING, EXECS, ACCOUNTING

and this is all in addition to very stereotypical secretarial work like taking notes at meetings, managing the showrunner and producer's calendars, and maintaining a pleasant atmosphere for the crew (coordinating game nights, decorating the office, organizing parties or lunches, etc.). production is expected to know everything, what's going on at all times, and how to fix it, which is a lot of work and often, a lot of pressure!

tl;dr:

we're going to fight the good fight, so

SUPPORT PRODUCTION UNIONIZATION EFFORTS!

Tumblr you can't mock other sites for their follies While trying to copy those other sites it's like 'lol that guy is so dumb for walking off a bridge' and doing the exact same thing and yelling it's for the good of the site as you plummet

Like I wish I was kidding over how bad a take it is "we're going to laugh at Twitter for being terrible"

Then literally copy Twitter with its new ui

i spent an insane amount of time trying to make that gif on my phone lmao please validate me 🥲

when i saw this i couldn’t believe it didn’t have music

I hope to one day exude as much raw energy as this man does.

the god of chaos

What color is his shirt

I LOOKED HIM UP AND YA’LL DONT UNDERSTAND

He is a  fucking bull riding stripper….

A WHAT

*in the distance*