“My therapist didn’t even blink an eye when I talked about my suicidal thoughts and plans. In that moment I felt like nobody would be able to stop me and it wouldn’t matter.”

“people make me sick when they ask about my future, like, bitch I don’t want a future, I wanna die. I’m planning my suicide not my future, you dumb.”

• resting
• eating
• sleeping
• talking
• not reacting immediately and running when your name is called
• not showing face expression they want to see on you
• not replying immediately to them
• not looking a certain way
• existing in clothing they would dissaprove of
• being anything less than perfect at something
• existing in a messy room
• laughing
• being excited
• crying
• feeling pain in any visible way
• showing any emotion that would put attention to you
• showing any kind of emotion that is not convenient to them
• showing trauma symptoms
• showing any kind of trace of abuse they inflicted on you
• being yourself
• getting hurt
• getting sick
• being mentally ill
• being unable to withstand some kind of pain or discomfort
• refusing to withstand provocation
• not willing to tolerate insults, humiliation and shaming
• defending yourself when attacked
• defending yourself against physical abuse
• having human needs
• requiring some sort of resources to survive
• taking space
• having wants and desires
• showing anything but obedience and respect to those who never deserved it
• wanting freedom
• wanting control over your time, your body, your life
• wanting to be cared about
• having your own point of view
• having your own opinion
• not killing yourself
• existing

“No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, show up, and never give up.”