gummyblog

i love blocking people who misunderstand me and are snippy about it like BITCH... perceiveth never moere

im done explaining myself to you either you understand my whimsy or you're banished from the fae realm for being a stupid little twat

after inputting some complex algorithms into my super computer i’ve determined what tumblr will look like in the year 2020

i love how this comes back after every shitty update staff makes

googled my symptoms and turns out I have to have a pretty girl kiss me

i mean that is a succinct explanation, yeah

'the human body is perfect god doesnt make mistakes' what about wisdom teeth then. huh. gonna let those bastards grow in and fuck up your jaw for god. didnt think so

also the exploding appendix

there's an entire book about all the ways the human body is fucked up, but the highlights I remember are: -The blood vessels for our rods and cones in our eyes don't run behind them but rather in front of them. It's like putting the power cables *over* a camera's lens -the nasal sinus cavities fucked up during evolution. when our skulls shortened, we went from having a straight shot from one end to the other to having basically a basin which can collect mucus, which then has the actual exit for the chamber at the top of it. this normally isn't a problem bc cillia can work viscous mucus up it, but when we get sick and produce super watery mucus, it no longer works, which is why our noses get stuffed up. the book is called Human Errors: A Panorama of Our Glitches, from Pointless Bones to Broken Genes. I recommend it.

Most mammals can’t get scurvy. They make their own Vitamin C. But in primates, the gene to make it is broken. Normally, when an important gene breaks, the organism dies and has no surviving descendants, but when it broke a few million years ago, our ancestors were living in a lush climate with lots of fruit and survived the failure just fine.

Then humans invented fire and clothing, and moved to colder climates where fresh food was only available part of the year, and scurvy was born.

And our reproduction, oh heavens. There are SO MANY WAYS that human reproduction is fucked up that simply DO NOT APPLY to other animals, even the our nearest relatives, the great apes. When a gorilla is giving birth, she finds a nice hiding place in the trees, squats down for like half an hour, and pushes out a baby. Humans, not so much. In fact, the outcomes of unassisted childbirth in humans are so poor that most anthropologists agree that we must have invented midwifery in some form before we became fully human.

I HATE how tumblr brings up your old tags as you’re typing a new tag because I really don’t!! Want to remember!!! Some of the things I’ve said on this godforsaken site!!!!

tag this post with your first result you get when you type will

in recent events of that zoo losing the clouded leopard, it reminded me of the time i went to a large petting zoo and there was a free roaming little black sheep. cutest little guy i ever saw, soi went to the zookeeper nearby and said ‘i think its really cute how you have a sheep thats allowed to just walk around. ‘ then the zookeepers eyes widened and he grabbed his walky talky and ran 

twitter is like. DNI with me unless you are a perfect clone of me. and tumblr is like. hi. you share exactly one interest with me. would you like to subliminally influence each other's thought patterns through funny text posts until we develop a hive mind? yeah? cool.

somehow instead of saying "as a treat", I've started using the phrase "for morale", as if my body is a ship and its crew, and I (the captain) have to keep us in high spirits, lest we suffer a mutiny in the coming days.

and so I will eat this small block of fancy cheese, for morale. I will take a break and drink some tea, for morale. I will pick up that weird bug, for morale.

I'm not sure if it helps, but it does entertain me

evanescence bring me to life and britney spears toxic are sisters to me

do you see

well yes and no

#no thats amy lee lead singer of evanescence#the main character of my immortal is ebony darkness dementia raven way who looks a lot like amy lee#(AN if you dont kno who dat is get da hell out!)

came back wrong but its from the perspective of the person who came back

Seeing pictures of yourself -the real you, the one people miss, the one people look for in your eyes- is like staring into a foggy mirror. The parts are there, you think, but the details are lost.

Someone who loves you makes you breakfast. You thank him and eat it despite the fact the eggs are too crisp on the sides and missing much needed salt. He says its how you like it, but that just makes that angry, unfettered itch in the back of your brain grow stronger.

How I used to like it, you want to say, how I used to be.

You grip your butter knife harder and light catches the polished metal. The glimpse you catch of yourself in the cutlery looks nothing like the photo on the mantle.

I’d best be seeing that anti JKR energy for this twilight show too bc Smeyer continuing to profit off the Quileute tribe is not cute

I keep seeing people on Twitter being all "I'm sure they'll be more respectful and mindful of the Quileute tribe this time around."

Except, they won't be. Even if they get actual Native American actors to play these characters, even if they bring on a Native American to serve as a cultural advisor, it wont matter. Why? Because Smeyer appropriated a real Native American tribe and twisted their culture and history in her fantasy books for her own profit.

This fictional Quileute Tribe is and always will be disrespectful to the real life Quileute tribe.

The Quileute Tribe is still taking donations to move out of the immediate tsunami zone as of April 2023. Instead of directing attention to this TV series if/when comes out (and even if it doesn't honestly), please consider supporting the tribe financially here if you can afford it.

Me: *scrolls past this post*

Me: Oh my god it's a FORK lift.

Me: *begrudgingly scrolls back up to reblog*