Writing this to hold myself accountable for calling my therapist tomorrow. I haven't been to a therapy appointment since dad died. It's been over a month since it happened and I still can barely get out of bed. Wheeeeee depression.

Austin's dad is visiting this weekend and he's been asking me questions about how my wifi works for literally 30 minutes. I just want to take a nap with no one in the apartment.

Look at this precious floof.

My tumblr is basically just a Dead Dad Blog now, so sorry everyone.

Here's a photo of my tiny cat in a tiny bed with a blanket to make up for it.

I know it's my own issue and it's not his fault and I'll bring it up with the therapist, but lately whenever Austin screens calls from his dad I get so furious. I'd fucking kill to be able to talk to my dad again.

A few updates.

My new job is going super well. I can't believe I'm being paid to edit and write and do literally nothing else. IM BEING PAID FOR THIS.

Also I'm officially obsessed with murder podcasts and true crime books. I'm sure my therapist could connect some dots between suddenly losing my dad a month ago and my sudden obsession with violent death but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Still miss my dad. I worry about my mom being alone. Austin and I had talked about moving out west in a few years but now I'm terrified of not living near my mom.

I did...something to my Achilles' tendon either while running or in yoga. It hurts when I'm in down dog. So hopefully that goes away soon because yoga is the only thing keeping me from eating my grief.

MOST IMPORTANT. I started using The Ordinary's Peeling Solution a few weeks ago and holy fuck is it amazing. So much crap comes out of my skin and then I GLOW. Highly rec for any skincare addicts who like messing with acids.

I just realized it's been a week since I checked Tumblr.

Hi everyone!

Bagels have become my grief food of choice. I hope you're happy, dad, your daughter will never fit into her pants now.

So today was my first day at my new job. I went to yoga afterwards and during yoga I thought "oh crap, I need to call dad and tell him how the first day went." And then I remembered I can't call him. And then I cried on my yoga mat.

Does anyone have any recs for hair masks for dry, crunchy winter hair? I just got it trimmed and it's still crazy dry from this weather.

Officially done with my job! I bought velvet pants as a congrats-to-me present.

2017 started off shitty, what with my mental breakdown and stay at depression camp and all, and then it got more shitty when my best friend's dad died and my sister had a traumatic miscarriage, but then the year wrapped everything up nicely with my dad unexpectedly dying. So. Overall 0/10 would not repeat and would like a refund.

I get personally offended when Austin and I go to the bar together and afterwards I'm like "let's get shitty late night food" and he's like "nah, I want to be healthy."

Like shut up and eat a chili dog, you athletic asshole.

This is my favorite photo ever of Agatha.

I wanted to go to yoga this morning for the first time in two weeks but it snowed last night and I don't feel like cleaning off my car uuuuuuugh.

blueinaseaofred replied to your post: Back when I gave my two weeks notice at my current...

I'd put good money on them emailing me and asking me if I could please please pleeeease do my entire job freelance after I leave while they find a replacement.

Back when I gave my two weeks notice at my current job I told them very clearly that my last day would be Jan 3. They keep referring to my “last day on the 5th” and when I correct them they say, “Hmm...I’m pretty sure we discussed it being Jan 5.” 

NO IT’S THE 3RD I HAVE IT IN WRITING. 

Nobody ever told me how fucking tired grief makes you. I could sleep all day and still need more sleep. 

Well my sinus infection has cleared up but now I have a massive head cold and a fever. Hopefully I'm getting aaaaall of this shit out of the way for a less shitty 2018? Maybe? Please?