Lmaooooooo

i mean, C is a pass

anyone would be lucky to date me. i was “a pleasure to have in class”

I love posts like this that require like six levels of meta understanding to comprehend them.

I’M SCREAMING

ur dick ft my mouth

if we being honest, rihanna doesn’t seem like the best person to text in a crisis

I feel like she’s the type to text back 5 hours later like “you good? 👀”

no reason for yall to hate raccoons theyre just tiny dogs in need of a loving n caring home

dogs dont have hands

Last night i had a dream Lady Gaga and Beyonce both simultaneously tweeted out a telephone emoji and every single gay in America immediately began rioting in the streets

My therapist asked me what I thought my abusive ex was up to nowadays, and apparently “the fuck do I know,and the fuck do I care?” Is the right answer

Why did this get so many notes

Because we’re proud of you.

Mom’s potato staring at me across the room

this dog looks exactly like what renaissance era painters thought dogs looked like

something: *is none of my god DAMN business* me: 🔍👀📝

if u can’t handle me at my worst, u don’t deserve me at my longest yeah boi ever

What doesn’t kill you gives you a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a really dark sense of humor.