Jack And Jack Af

Set your WIFI password to 2444666668888888, when your friend ask just tell him it’s 12345678

i sat here for like 10 minutes trying to figure this out.

WEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH

This cat is named Fuku and he is deaf! He doesn’t know how noisy he’s being. His Instagram username is maruelmoruru if you want to see more of him!

HARRY IN STOCKHOLM (via louisfeatbebe)

Why tiptoe into hell when you can backflip into a cannonball. I like Mackenzie’s style.

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?” The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.” The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.” The man says, “All right, all right. I’m *dying* to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?” The monks reply, “You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.” The man sets about his task. Forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, “I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.” The monks reply, “Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.” The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, “The sound is right behind that door.” The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, “Real funny. May I have the key?” The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst. Finally, the monks say, “This is the last key to the last door.” The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound. But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk

Originally posted by disneyasastrology

BWAHAHAHAHAH. 

the way i learned this, it was always told through spoken word. And you’d do the door thing for ages. AGES. literally just making up any old material. ‘behind the foam door is a door made of spinach’ that kind of shit. Go on until whoever is listening has already begged you to stop and has now gone on to pleading, clutching your shirt on their knees pleading. And when you finally said the last line? People went fucking nuts Like there was a good chance of just getting the teeth knocked out of you after telling that joke.

A friend of mine did that shit for 30 minutes on a camp once. The entire fucking bus just exploded in anger when she finished. It was a fucking massacre. 

The soccer gender pay gap is ridiculous

MOTHER OF GOD

ARE YOU FUCKIN

OH GOD ITS BACK

DEAR GOD THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE TUMBLR POSTS IN EXISTENCE.

YOU THINK JUST THE NOISE IS FUNNY AND FITS WITH THE GIF REALLY WELL

BUT THEN

THEN

THE LYRICS START

seriously i have almost crashed my car into a telephone pole, becuase I suddenly thought of this post and started laughing uncontrollably

Watching this makes me happy

I did not see that coming

yoooo

This is the greatest thing ever the kid recording is losing his shit lmao

tag urself im the kid that starts dancing in the end

Fun fact, I have a green foil star balloon that I was given at the zoo and it’s still fully inflated without ever being refilled.

Funner fact? I was two years old when I got it, making it a 16 year old balloon.

I may be carrying a balloon that is older than a fair few of my followers right now.

Thought I’d update you all. It’s now 18.

hands down the best twitter story ever

bonus

It got better

I’m so mad because this worked

help me roger

Reblogging myself because

Originally posted by gifs-for-the-masses

Reblogging myself because… what was that? Five minutes?

O_O

………my friend has made me curious

help me roger

Update: after I reblogged this someone messaged me offering me tickets to the sold out Hausu screening with a Q&A and autograph session with the director

let’s do it, roger

Roger helppppp

I need you Roger!

Old but still one of my fave memes

“lol is everything offensive these days?”

Source

the creator of deadpool being explained who deadpool is will still be my favorite of all the memes

Reblogging for adorable shark and ‘boop the snoot.’

rip vine :(

No this is really is the one compilation to reblog.

I hit reblog so fast there was a tsunami in the Pacific.

This is like installing Windows on a Mac.

I am physically required to reblog this or my heart will stop beating.

oh my god

Who wouldn’t want to sit with a baby crocodile for a bit?