By 夫人不吃鱼
He's got the power of LIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And stubbornness.
{Check out my comics below}
"why do we even have that lever" is made funnier by the fact there are only 2 levers to begin with (disguised as a pair of tusks on a statue)
i find the implications hilarious:
- kronk only had to remember the location of one lever, and couldn't even manage that
- but on the other hand, it's easy to get two identical unlabelled levers confused, this one's on yzma tbh
- yzma only needed to make one lever to begin with, but she actively chose to turn the second tusk into a functioning trapdoor. she could have just...just not connected the second tusk to anything. it didn't need to have a function
- upon reflection, this also answers the question itself: "why do we even HAVE that lever?" it's because yzma herself specifically designed it as a booby trap. "why do we have that lever?" because yzma had it built to keep people out of her secret lair! yzma made the very purposeful choice to put that lever there! and then both she and her inept henchman immediately forgot about her own booby trap! yzma that is YOUR LEVER!!!!!
why do we even have that lever? because you built it yzma. these are the machinations of your own design yzma! YOU ARE TANGLED IN A WEB OF YOUR OWN WEAVING YZMA! YZMA THAT IS YOUR CROCODILE!!!
shout-out to everyone in the notes claiming that kronk pulled the wrong lever on purpose. you are so right, this is the face of a himbo who knows what's up
#the best thing about kronk is that he is very very competent just at nothing in his actual job description #yzma keeps him around so she can be competent-passing in comparison but she is ALSO a dumbass! #dream team
why aren't there more mysteries that take place in nursing homes & retirement communities. i want to watch a group of deranged retirees-cum-amateur-detectives combine their powers of:
- decades of life experience
- boredom-fueled busybody shamelessness
- access to the most gossipy next-door-neighbors in existence
- "I am too old to be arrested and/or give a shit" attitude
and solve crimes. this should be an enormous subgenre.
flattered that my tags passed peer review:
#their sidekick/Watson/pet hacker is a 15 year old grandkid who hangs out with gram gram on the weekends. her only power is that she has above average search engine skills and flexible knees--which is completely sufficient to round out the group's skill set.
#they involve her in heist style operations. on the rare occasion she gets caught housebreaking she explains her grandma locked herself out of the condo and asked for help getting in. then this sweet slightly addled old lady shows up and explains she got the address mixed up, it's so confusing when you're old & all the houses look alike and oh she's so sorry to have caused so much trouble!......and meanwhile the teenager is rolling her eyes bc she's aware gram gram was a highly successful career criminal & con artist for 50 years.
ANYway gimme a 80+-year-old con-artist-turned-amateur-sleuth who loves getting older because people are less suspicious of little old ladies (#this all takes place in florida naturally)
because of the many, many comments, i have now read all of the Thursday Murder Club books. I am pleased to report they are DELIGHTFUL.
if you like charming/stubborn old ladies and grumpy/shy old men who solve (and commit) crimes for fun--here you go!
(this series is also fun and poignant and contains senior citizens embracing modern values & the changing world & and basically living their best lives at 70/80+. and it's great.)
I demand vampires with parent issues. the parents in question have been dead for 7 centuries but their immortal offspring still bring them up every week in therapy
and no i don't mean their vampiric sire aka the rando who bit them in the woods one night and fucked off. i mean like the 14th cent stonemason who refused to let his kid apprentice with a traveling bard, because that's just not solid steady work, not like this here cathedral we've been building for generations, this is a respectable family business my lad, a blessing fallen right into your lap! and you going on and on about the hurdy-gurdy. traveling minstrel indeed!
• An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.
• A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.
• A bar was walked into by the passive voice.
• An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.
• Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”
• A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.
• Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.
• A question mark walks into a bar?
• A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.
• Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."
• A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.
• A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
• Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.
• A synonym strolls into a tavern.
• At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.
• A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.
• Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.
• A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.
• An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.
• The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.
• A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.
• The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
• A dyslexic walks into a bra.
• A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.
• A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.
• A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.
• A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony
- Jill Thomas Doyle
A zeugma walked into a bar, my life and trouble.
*raises my hand to ask a question* what if we collectively refused to refer to AI as 'AI'? it's not artificial intelligence, artificial intelligence doesn't currently exist, it's just algorithms that use stolen input to reinforce prejudice. what if we protested by using a more accurate name? just spitballing here but what about Automated Biased Output (ABO for short)
I've been informed that in australia, "Abo" is a slur against Aboriginal people. therefore a respectful and clear differentiation must be made:
- when spoken aloud, 'A.B.O' (Automated Biased Output) should have the distinct pronunciation of an acronym (Aee-Bee-Oh).
- the written form becomes a little trickier in the age of social media, where periods and capitalization are often considered optional. therefore, i would suggest a less common punctuation mark to distinguish the acronymic version of "Automated Biased Output"
in summary: a more descriptive, respectful, and practical term for Artificial Intelligence is, quite logically, A/B/O
patient: bleeding from every orifice and in respiratory arrest
house’s shoes:
July 25, 2023 - Striking stuntman Mike Massa walks in the SAG-AFTRA picket line while on fire. [video]
So, so, so badass. What a chillingly powerful message this sends. People have been lighting themselves on fire as a form of protest for centuries, but this might be the first time it’s been done by a professional who knows what he’s doing while under the supervision of professionals who know what they’re doing.
not as an act of self-destruction but as a display of skill
I'm in awe
PHYSICAL INSTRUMENT: Ten meters of polished steel, baby. Imagine the speed. Your mind races at the thought of conquering this children's play equipment. Take the plunge. Go down that slide.
If you want to keep up to date and help pay their fines, Food Not Bombs Houston keeps their instagram current with what is happening and how you can help!
my toddler is 3 years old and wont eat anything other than fine porterhouse steaks and sweet port wine
you need to discipline your child. port is a horrible choice for the main course and wildly clashes with a rich béarnaise.
dude hes three….
bumblespam-hdd
And uncultured. Get a new child
I saw that picture of Joe Biden finding two coins on the ground again today. His face in it is so haunting man I have no idea what emotion he’s experiencing
Just pure rapture
what now, son? what are you going to do now? im here to tell you that ive taken your tokens. i have both of your tokens, boy, and you know where im going to take them? two words: skee ball. you don’t even know how powerful i am, you don’t even know the powers i possess with this two piece of silver. ancient magic, son. ancient magic- don’t mess with ancient magic, or you’ll get the horns. just an old phrase from back in scranton. jill get in the car