my favorite thing about cats is how you can literally see the moment the switch flips in their heads and they enter the Sillyzone™

i’m obligated to accept friend requests from people i knew from high school because otherwise how else would i see shit like this posted in earnest

Where’s the little felt coffin to put their little felt baby in after none of these things cure them of little felt polio?

the year is 2023, marie kondo holds j*ff b*zos by the skin on the back of his neck in front of a public gathering

“does this one spark joy?” she shouts at the restless audience, they boo in response

she snaps his spine like .5mm mechanical pencil lead and throws his lifeless corpse to the crowd, they cheer in response

Homeless Cat Opens Its Eyes For The First Time In Months, Stuns Everyone With Their Beauty

Cotton the cat was alone on the streets, starving, disease-ridden and close to death. His eyes were scabbed over with mange and he was being eaten alive by mites, finding any kind of food without the use of his eyes was next to impossible. But then his guardian angel arrived.

With lots of care, Cotton has finally opened his eyes

klaus being told he’s dead vs klaus having to go back living

i’m crying????????? he’s suicidal but no one in the show seems to notice or care

you wouldn’t think someone would be able to get typecast as a delinquent junkie who somehow gets super powers but my man robert sheehan has managed it

Robert Sheehan by Bartek Szmigulski – Rollacoaster Magazine (S/S 2019)

Klaus + not at all funny, very sad lines

AAAAAAAA PLAY WITH SOUND AGAIN OMG MY HEART

my fave

i can’t stop laughing that gif is perfect

my brain: remember when u were really attracted to the dude from phill of the future when u were a kid?

taviv ullman:

my brain: cuz u still are. 

When he was on Disney channel he went by Ricky Ullman but then later went back to using his unambiguously ethnic Hebrew name and I’ve always thought that was very sexy of him

Apparently his name is Raviv not Taviv. Since you can’t edit other people’s posts. Damn Phil.

I AM WEEPING

hot take: moms need to learn how to listen to and comfort their daughters without making everything about their own traumas

a classic example

daughter: hey this thing you do bothers me very much and i wish you wouldn’t do it

mom: well my parents abused me and im not even as bad as they were and i had to sit through it so you gotta sit through whatever i do to you too

a common variant

mom: well i’m having a really hard time right now and you know that i’m doing my best and that i didn’t mean to hurt you ergo you are in fact the asshole for asking me to consider your feelings and change my behavior during this hard hard time i’m having

least favorite

mom: fine. you’re right and i’m wrong and i’m a horrible person. there. are you happy now?

see also

mom: you can’t be mad at me. you’re not allowed to be mad at me. i can’t stand it.

Last two are definitely my mom and hence why he don’t talk.

have y’all ever had communion bread that was just so….nasty? like i know we have to suffer as christians, but do we really need to have whole wheat bread as the body of christ?

my old church used hawaiian bread. my standards are high

Some old housemates of mine were Syrian Orthodox. At their church different members of the church took turns baking the bread that would be consecrated for the Eucharist. This was all well and good until one woman baked raisin bread. This led to the memorable occasion of a rather flustered priest, who had not seen the bread until that moment, declaring, “This - except for the raisins - is the Body of Christ.”

EXCEPT FOR THE RAISINS omg

Raisins are just dried grapes though, and wine is his blood so really its like a two in one shampoo & conditioner except with jesus

I know we’re talking about bread here but nothing is grosser than the dry flaky wafer of Christ.

This shit used to hurt me so much. Now when I go shopping I don’t even touch shit unless I know I want it lol cus I know that pain

i’m that person you see folding something and putting it back after i’ve looked at it lol

^^^ And if I can’t fold it back perfectly they’re gonna at least see that I tried.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^

All.of.this

Worked in retail almost half a decade, and let me tell y'all this is daily, not just Black Friday or summer sales.

I’ve had people look me straight in the eyes while they knock over a perfectly folded stack of shirts off a table so they could put down their Starbucks cup. People leave food, drinks, diapers, used pads and bandages, even one time an actual syringe on tables.

I’ve had people destroy entire displays and complain about how dirty and “why don’t employees respect their own store” while I was directly next to them frantically trying to fix what they, themselves, just messed up.

This shit is so ingrained in me now that I fixed displays while on vacation in Disney World for a full half hour.

And before anyone says anything, no, actually picking up after grown adults that should know better, it actually isn’t my job to clean up after you all day. We have customer service, check for product, work the registers, keep the bathrooms clean, deal with angry customers, try to prevent shop lifting, and keep the store running. Recovery (fixing displays) is supposed to be low on our list because people aren’t supposed to be selfish shitheads. If you wouldn’t destroy your friend’s house, don’t destroy retail shops.

I’ve literally had people ask me if I work at several stores before because I’m cleaning up after myself??? like they are asking me for help and I’m like “idk I don’t work here” then they are like “then why are you cleaning?”

It’s,,, basic manners,,, to clean after yourself,,, what is wrong with people,,,

I fix clothes when im in stores too. I hate when people fuck up retail stores

i used to hate this shit when i worked at forever 21 🙄

At my job there are trash cans next to the self checkout under a little overhang so you can put your basket on it. Despite literally walking by a spot where baskets are clearly stacked, people like to shove it under the overhang. Thereby sending the trash flying everywhere. Like if you have to knock over a trash can in order to place the basket there do you ThiNk tHATs wHerE It GOes?!