We all know "Hawke Brainrot", which is regardless of Hawke's personality/actions, and whether the NPC in question loves or hates them, they are still practically scrambling for their undivided attention/approval.
We have Not discussed "Anders Brainrot" in which people see this manic exhausted spidery man and say "Well now that ain't right. I must mother him." One of the gifts you give him in Awakening is a scarf. Big Bad HoF went no this man cannot survive the winter—without THIS come here bby. A spirit of Justice saw how shit his life was and went "I think you need my professional help."
Obviously Hawke has it, they have the funds to keep Anders comfortable like an eccentric debutant crafting a particularly luxurious guinea pig habitat, but they can also just bring him into THEIR house and pile blankets on him and kiss him on the mouth.
NO ONE had it worse than Varric though, he was bending over backwards. Jumping through hoops. Hawke where is your sad scarecrow man, I must see the scarecrow man. Is he okay. Do not tell him I asked this.
I know this was meant as a joke post, but I'm going to actually go ahead and take it semi-seriously and say that Anders Brainrot™ is an actual thing, canonically.
The templar who hunts Anders down in Amaranthine, Ser Rylock, apparently has been doing so consistently for most of Anders' escape attempts — almost to the point of obsession, like a kind of Javert to Anders' Valjean. Anders jokes over Rylock's multiple attempts at apprehending him, but when you step up to defend Anders and choose not to hand him over to the Templars, she goes ahead and says this:
"I do not know how you inspire such loyalty, Anders, but it will avail you naught." - Ser Rylock
A templar actually states that she doesn't know how Anders inspires such loyalty in people, implying that this might not the first time this has happened — Anders inspires devotion in people to protect him, or in the case of Ser Rylock, an obsession to keep tirelessly pursuing him.
Also, let's not forget First Enchanter Irving's favoritism and bias towards Anders. He took pity on Anders when the boy first arrived in the Circle, and made it a point to respond to Anders' first few escape attempts with softness and kindness:
Taken from Anders' 'World of Thedas vol. 2' entry:
"Anders made his first attempt to escape less than six months after arriving at the Circle. When he was caught, he was brought immediately to Irving. When asked why he escaped, Anders replied that he had simply wanted to go home. Irving took pity on the tearful boy and decided that punishing homesickness was unnecessarily harsh and would only serve to deepen the child's hatred of the Circle. Irving has Anders escorted to his room and counseled the templars to treat him with greater kindness."
"After his first try, Anders made no recorded attempts to escape for more than a year. But the second time Anders slipped away from the Circle, it took the templars three weeks to find him. The next time, it took over a month. To elude the templars, Anders displayed an ingenuity and resourcefulness far beyond his years and was described by Ser Hadley, one of the many templars assigned to hunt him down, as a "skinny, blond headache." Luckily for Anders, his friendly manner and easy charm had by then endeared him to many at Kinloch, including First Enchanter Irving. Most saw him as nothing more than a spirited young boy with a troublemaking but mostly harmless streak in him."
"Irving in particular looked upon Anders with sympathy and made valiant attempts to help him become accustomed to life in the Circle going so far as to arrange some time outdoors for well-behaved apprentices. There is no indication that Irving's good intentions had any effect on Anders. Years later, the first enchanter would remark that perhaps his approach had backfired. The kindness he showed to Anders every time he was returned to the Circle simply proved to the boy that he could get away with most anything. When asked if he regretted not punishing Anders more severely, perhaps with Tranquility, Irving only sighed and would not discuss the matter further." - emphasis mine
First Enchanter Irving paid Anders so much special attention, he had arranged for outdoor activities specifically for Anders' sake (which Anders took advantage of to make another escape attempt, as we learn from Finn in DAO's 'Witch Hunt' DLC 😂). The First Enchanter of Kinloch Hold himself wasn't immune to Anders' influence.
After Anders joins the Grey Wardens, who operate outside of the Circle jurisdiction, you'd think the Circle would finaly leave him alone. Like, oh, he's the Grey Wardens' problem now, he's out of our hands, let's leave him be and focus on capturing non-Warden apostates. But no, what do they do, they actually send a Templar to infiltrate Warden ranks to keep an eye on him?? Just how deep must Anders Brainrot in the Circle and Templar ranks be, that they can't even leave him alone when he's among Grey Warden ranks?? Why send a whole-ass trained Templar to stalk him when they could be spending their resources hunting apostates who aren't Grey Wardens?
Basically //Regina George voice "Why are you so obsessed with me him?"
Anyways, this proves that nobody is immune Anders Brainrot; he inspires obsession, devotion and loyalty in people because nobody can resist a sopping wet cat of a man and are compelled by the violent urge to either protect him or possess him (or in the case of Justice, both).
