here goes...

I know barely anyone will read this. And that’s okay. But I need to put some stuff out there because if I don’t, who knows if I will ever start to work on my dreams.

It’s exhausting having the dreams I have. It’s exhausting to want a different life for myself every day. I do love the life I have, don’t get me wrong. I really don’t have that much to worry about. I have a loving family, a roof over my head, food, clean water, friends, and support... but I don’t feel fulfilled. I look at the world around me and I know there’s so much more out there for me. 

Every day I think about what it would be like to be able to travel the world. I go back and forth between wanting a lush and lavish life where I can afford expensive and extravagant vacations and just wanting to leave it all behind for a life of adventure and mystery. 

I’m so confused every day. I’m dropping out of college because I just can’t decide what I want to do. I look at my country and I’m so sad living here. I know there’s so much more for me than this city and state. But at the same time, I leave my parent’s house and cry because I know I’ll miss them. I don’t know what I want or how to get it and it’s so frustrating and confusing. 

I think more and more every day about how I can live a truly happy and successful life. And every time, it comes back to exploring the world. So no more putting it on the back burner, today I start. Today I start looking in to what it actually takes to live the life I want. And a way to share that with others. I want to positively impact the world. I want to positively impact everything around me. 

So,  I know this was a mess, but I needed to get it out. Today, I start focusing on what I really want. And how to get it. Today I start on my happiness. Today and every day.