Help me.

2000(when I was a new born): my dad hated the thought of my mother being pregnant so her constantly physically abused her to get her to miscarriage. He also verbally abused her because she became an alcoholic (because of him abusing her, he then blamed his abuse of her on her being an alcoholic) he also continued to verbally and physically abuse her, after my birth. After I was born as well as being an alcoholic she began abusing pills, to deal with the pain. My mum was too afraid to get help because he threatened to put pictures of her drunk in public places.

2001-2003( when I was a toddler): My dad continued to abuse my mum, and force me to watch. He threatened that if I called the police he’d kill her. He continued to blame her for his anger and abuse and my mum continued to pop pills and drink.

2004-2007( early childhood): my dad continued to abuse my mother and she continued to pop pills and drink. She began drinking and taking pills more and more often. To the point that she would run away in the night (drunk and high on pills).my dad and I had to follow and chase her around the streets in the car, to get her back home. This began to happen every night. This is also around the time I began remembering what he called me (slut, whore, worthless, a mistake, failed abortion, leech, maggot etc.) he was also a control freak and wouldn’t let me go to my friends’ houses (even with my mum), especially people of a different nationality or religion.

2008-2009:everything got worse. He began threatening family, he told me that he would “I’ll get your slut-whore grandmother and shot her up her cunt, then take pictures and put them around the house”. He continued to abuse and my mother continued to abuse pills and drink.

2010: my mother and I ran away, to live with her side of the family. We then got dragged into family court which took his side.

2011-2012: I was forced to live with my dad and rarely saw or spoke to my mum ( he wouldn’t let me). This was the the year a first attempted suicide. I took the full force of his abuse and he blamed everything on me. He also had a go at me each day for telling the family court what had happened.

2013: my mum sobered and didn’t drink or take pills, so she moved in with us (to protect me) and the abuse intensified. Late that year (around Xmas) my mother and I got a restraining order on him( he tried to defy it, but his case was denied)

2014: in the near future the restraining order expires. I can’t stop cutting , I’m scared of myself, I’m scared of my dad, I’m scared for my mum. Please help me.