Unmute !
when i was a kid I was really bad (or really good depending on your definition) at hidden object games. which is to say that I would not specifically search for the objects the book asked me to look for. no. that would make no sense. what i instead did was open a spreadsheet
i then proceeded to list every single object in the image in my excel spreadsheet, highlighting the objects the book asked me to find in red as i went. Then, by the end, not only had i found the objects, I had also found and categorized all of the other objects as well. This way, if anyone asked me to find any other objects in that image, i was fully prepared
on an unrelated note i was diagnosed as autistic before third grade
You used the letter a 46 times!!
And 555 letters, so the letter a is about 8.29%
The letter a is on average used about 8.2% of the time, which means you used it more than average!! :)
a-counter you are my best friend and greatest ally
Short DPXDC Prompts #773
Danny works as a Gotham bomb disposal technician
The problem with bombs in Gotham is that they were only sometimes just "bombs."
Sometimes they were traditional incendiaries, which could be detonated or deconstructed safely either where they were or in a safe location.
Sometimes, they would release anything from toxic nightmare gas to a concerning number of insects.
And sometimes they had an internal, shielded mechanism that would send a signal to another bomb to detonate if/when the mechanism's casing was damaged.
Long story short? The bomb disposal crew in Gotham had a high turnover rate.
But they paid well, which is why Danny Fenton applied for the job. He wouldn't even need a second job to cover his living expenses while in college, and he could keep someone else from being hired in his place.
Someone much easier to kill, in all likelihood.
It was his engineering studies they hired him for.
It was his uncanny ability to disable active bombs that they kept him on for.
Wires? Give him ten seconds and he could tell you which one would give the detonation signal (It was almost like he could sense the electricity running through them).
Unknown contents? He could tell from the type of container alone whether they would be gas, liquid, or something else (it had to be based by the kind of container. He had no way to know what was actually inside, right?).
Internal device? Somehow, he could dismantle or disable them before the signal could be sent beyond the shielding (he was also uncannily difficult to catch quality video or picture of, but that couldn't be related, right?).
In fact, he was so skilled at the job that deaths among the bomb disposal crews as a whole decreased from dozens to single digits for the quarter.
And the Bats couldn't help but take notice.
The Police Detective in charge of the Bomb Disposal Squad, both police and civilian engineer branches, looked up from her computer at The Batman. She leveled him with an unimpressed look and raised a finger for a moment to finish her work.
After a minute of silence, she shut her computer and leveled her gaze at him. "Batman. What brings you here?"
"Detective Smith. What do you know about Daniel Fenton?"
"I know that he's the best on my team, and that without him, many people would be dead."
"Is he a meta?"
She pursed her lips, regarding him for a long moment. "If I were to answer that question, and the young man were to, for whatever reason, come under scrutiny by you and your colleagues and be frightened away, do you know how many people's lives would be at stake and likely lost?"
He tilted his head slightly, indicating for her to go on.
Detective Smith continued. "So, I will assume I misheard you. Could you ask me the question again?"
A moment of silence, and then, "is he being fairly compensated for his work? It... would be unfortunate for such a skilled young man to leave due to not being paid fairly for his work."
The detective smiled. "Oh, he is being paid quite well. With the decrease in necessary bereavement payments, our funding has managed to go further than usual this year. Not that we would say no to an expansion."
"I will see who I can talk to."
Guys, guys listen! This is a perfect prompt for a specific line thrown in! You know, that famous line????
What I love about this is that he’s effective at his job in mostly mundane ways. Like, some of his powers might give him an edge but it’s mainly his engineering and experience disabling his parents tech that make his so good at it
But I can still see one day, maybe he does it, maybe a coworker does, but someone fucked up. With seconds before it blows, in a panic he SWALLOWED THE WHOLE BOMB
Somehow, it work
went to see if my late package maybe showed up without being scanned
but the post man yesterday said it would be here at ooooooooooone
is 9…………. post office closing time……. no pkg……………………………………………………… >:C
well at least i can skip my post office visit tomorrow
i mean what did i expect really
a package?
too unrealistic
amazon sent me a replacement for my lost package and it “arrived” today
omg she recognized me immediately and got nervous with me while checking the system using my name
she was just as distraught as me when it turned up “arriving tomorrow” again but then she had another idea
one-pearl-point
mail is dumb
builtfjordtuff
The mail lady saying “NO. I REFUSE to say it again” was more climactic than the Braveheart speech.
national-shitpost-registry
oh my gosh, op’s bio says “The package was a laptop” which gives SUCH a new perspective
Anonymous asked:
rodney realpokemon i miss my wife :(
she didn't leave me though. i got jumped by a band of hooligans with sandshrews and they all sand attacked me and now i whiff my hugs 75% of the time
starting a gofundme to get this anon a Wide Lens
ok sorry for totk posting but i cant keep this to myself anymore. i know were all having fun out here but everyone saying things like “haha zelda devs put all these fun building mechanics in the game but couldnt possibly anticipate that the first thing the Unhinged Gamers would do is build automated death machines” has got it so incredibly twisted. you dont understand. the game wants you to do this. whole quest lines depend on it. it holds your hand and teaches you how to most efficiently commit mass murder using the vast array of armaments available to you, then it makes you do it over and over again. i found a blueprint for a Tank in a treasure chest just now because the devs were worried i wouldnt figure it out on my own
every couple of hours i remember the enemy in totk that i accidentally froze into an undignified family guy death pose with his ass hanging out and i start laughing so hard i choke on my own spit
alright so during into the spider-verse's introduction to peter b. parker, we see his wedding, and he stomps on the wine glass right? this is a jewish wedding tradition, which makes this version of peter parker jewish (further confirmed in interviews -- however, i believe this is enough by itself). it's a nice nod to the jewish roots of the character.
we get to see a bunch of peter parkers throughout the spider-verse films, and none of them have any explicit religious associations like peter b. parker. except for one!
here we have gwen stacy's peter parker and aunt may, from earth-65, saying grace over a meal. from my understanding, this is generally a christian practice -- in judaism, we prefer to say short prayers before eating, and save the long, in-depth ones for afterwards. so to me, this was a clear example of the character being coded as christian. i was a little disappointed that they didn't make peter parker jewish here too, but since across the spider-verse discusses variants and the differences between instances of the same person between different universes, i interpreted this as a continued commentary on peter parker's ethnicity -- although he was initially jewish-coded and one of his two creators, stan lee, is jewish, this is often erased, especially in more modern interpretations of the character.
and then i remembered that this peter parker also literally turns into the lizard.
and y'know what? good call on that one guys.
plas and some alter egos, one looking a little worse for wear (he'll be FINE)
Batman the Playboy
Justice League, not quite early days but before proper identity reveals, though everyone knows Batman knows theirs, bc he has Opinions™ and Constructive Criticisms™ on their secret-keeping.
The issue is brought up on random occasions. The most notable incident- the Justice League, including Batman, being Drunk for Bonding, and Batman, in a fit of paranoid good intentions because he CARES about these idiots, damnit, why must they be so careless, starts insulting them.
Batman, leaning heavily on the table: “GL, you’re a mess, I don’t even know where to start with you. And Arrow! Your goatee is so distinctive, it’s a wonder no one has called you out on it-“
Green Arrow, also drunk: “Alright, there’s no need to insult my awesome facial hair-”
Batman, in despair: “It’s so ugly.”
Green Arrow: (offended noises)
Green Lantern: “Okay, the only reason you know our secret identities is because you’re a rude nosy bastard who needs to know everything about us like a creepy stalker who needs an ego boost! We’re not stupid, Spooky, we’re just polite. We could figure you out easily if we wanted to. Superman can see right through your mask!”
Usually, Batman would have a good response to that. Something smart and reasonable like “villains won’t care for your privacy, I’m testing you,” or something cutting like “I don’t care enough about you to go digging, I set your secret identity as a training exercise for Robin.”
However, Batman is Drunk, because for some reason imbibing drugs that dampen higher brain function is socially acceptable and often, for some reason, expected, because it’s “team bonding” and “come on just loosen up a bit.”
So what Batman ends up saying is: “I could kiss you full on the lips in my secret identity and you wouldn’t know a thing.”
Superman, plucking the glass from Batman’s hand: “Aaaand that is enough alcohol for you!”
Batman nods. Thank God. He has finally reached the point where he is allowed to stop. He wants to go home and sleep.
Of course, Green Lantern has smelled a challenge. And Green Lantern must annoy Batman. It’s his true superpower. So, the next time they meet (sober) he brings up the issue again.
GL: “So about what you said at the party… the part where you could kiss us full on the lips without us knowing. You still confident in that without liquid courage, Spooky? Bet you your real name you can’t do it.”
Batman, regretting the fact that alcohol has ever passed his lips: “I could do it, but I will not.”
Flash, curious: “Why’s that?”
Batman: “Informed Consent. I will not risk making any of you feel violated, or manipulated, for the sake of a stupid bet and my ego.”
GA, still offended by the goatee comment, trying to back Batman into a corner: “So if we give consent, we’re fair game? Try me, Batman. Even you can’t pull this off. Anyone else game?”
Some of the Justice League laughs, raising their hands.
Flash: “Come get me, hot stuff! I’ll call you out!”
Wonder Woman: “It could be amusing.”
Martian Manhunter: “I would be far too difficult a target.”
Green Arrow: “Not just you. C’mon, Spooky, flirting well enough to get a kiss from me? I’m a classy lady.”
Black Canary: “D-class, maybe.”
Superman, wants a kiss in on the fun: 🙋🏻♂️
“So that’s it then!” Green Lantern says smugly. “Batman, if you can kiss… how many people raised their hands? Ah yes- HALF THE JUSTICE LEAGUE, without anyone realizing it’s you, then you win.”
Batman scoffs and walks out, leaving the Justice League in stitches at their joke. Because- Batman? Being good enough at flirting to land a kiss on half the league, without it being forced or awkward, without them recognizing his body language, his voice, his build? How ridiculous!
The Batman is Autistic. The Batman does not understand jokes, especially not ones that are half truths. The Batman has consent, and something to prove.
And Bruce Wayne, billionaire, playboy, and sexy DILF, has targets.
(Please tell me how you think he gets each League member.)
Oliver Queen aka Green Arrow- Easy. Make out at a gala after someone says something homophobic. They're old friends, it's just fun for them at this point.
Barry Allen aka Flash- The man "rescues" him from a villain attack and Bruce just lays one on him. He plays it off as being so overwhelmed and grateful.
Dinah Lance aka Black Canary- Oliver pissed her off at a gala so she made out with his best friend in front of him. Everyone was into it but the paparazzi wouldn't shut up about it for weeks.
Hal Jordan aka Green Lantern- At a JL fundraising thing Bruce asked for a thank-you kiss for helping fund the place, and Hal took it personally. Gothamites still haven't forgiven him for the Hickey Incident.
J'onn J'onzz aka Martian Manhunter- Same JL fundraising thing two hours later, J'onn asked forgiveness for his teammate's rudeness and Bruce said he could make up for it. Very gentle, very sweet.
(Hal saw this and dragged the stupid, preening, arrogant, sexy billionaire into the nearest closet. Hence the Hickey Incident.)
Diana Prince aka Wonder Woman- The two were at a gala and Bruce said that if he could kiss her hand just once he would be die a happy man. Diana was so charmed by this weirdo that she then proceeded to kiss him for a solid five minutes, in front of everyone, including reporters. She is no longer Jason's favorite (lies).
Clark Kent aka Superman- At yet another gala, Lois made a comment as to how she'd kissed the both of them before, and Bruce decided to close the loop.
BONUS- Some of these ended in sex. I will not specify who did or did not manage to bed the Batman, but... you can guess who.
Plasmius' origin story, but it's the Grimace Shake
(Also the cup has an N instead of the McDonalds M because.. Nasty Burger)
So I also got wrenched (gently) back into the Danny Phantom fandom from all the DC crossovers. How fun- Anyway, I am stuck on Clockwork being a parental figure to Danny because honestly I am weak to non-human found family.
Danny is the Crazy Old Man™️ of Gotham
So, the events of Danny Phantom happened decades ago
Like, Phantom Planet was one of the first instances of Superheroes in HISTORY. Early 1900's, just the Fentons were Insanely Ahead of their Time!
Danny is still a Halfa, but has allowed himself to grow old and live his best life before fully dying so he can accept his Throne in the Infinite Realms. He decides to experience Life in the fullest way possible, partying, drinking, making long lasting friendships that shape the lives of everybody he meets, all that!
Eventually, Danny's Party Life leads him to Gotham. And this place is just amazing!
It has all the comforts of Home, with so much more! He can Party! He can Fight! He can do anything he wants and nobody bats an eye, because a crazy old man getting into a fistfight in the middle of the road is just another Tuesday for Gotham!
He decides to spend the rest of his Mortal Life there. And this is still Early On in the DC Timeline, like, Batman Year 1 is happening Right Now.
He hangs around, befriends the local Homeless Population, and mostly just has the time of his Life! And he takes up the stereotypical Homeless Old Man look because why fight it? That's literally what he's going for!
He also unintentionally sets up a bunch of future events
He teaches Kid!Jason on his to steal Tires as repayment for driving off some muggers with a Baseball Bat (honestly he was looking forward to being mugged, it's a new experience after all)
He pulls Kid!Tim into an Alley after Tim gets caught out at night and gets chased by some Punks. He hides Tim behind a Dumpster and tricks the Punks into mugging him instead (Yay! He finally got mugged!)
He becomes kind of well known as the Old Man who wants to experience everything before he dies. He says as much too, not like he really has a reason to hide it. He just tells people "I want to live my life to the fullest, it don't matter if I live 10 more years or 10 more minutes, I'm gonna experience every second of it!"
He once walked into a Cloud of Fear Gas to see what it was like. Later he said it was a 6/10. "Not the worst thing I've had injected into my body!" He says with no Context.
He traded places with a Hostage during an active Crime Scene because he wanted to know what it's like.
He was once dared to take Batmans Utility Belt by another Homeless Guy as a joke, so he walked up to Batman later that night in full view of everybody else and just asked for his Belt. He gives up after a few minutes, and one guy asked "Why not fight him for it? It's an experience after all.". Danny replys "Nah, I've fought Vigilantes before. It was fun though, gotta say!"
...
This got away from me, but all this to say: Imagine the Bat Families Reaction when they find out "Crazy Old Danny" is PHANTOM. You know, THE FIRST SUPERHERO!
I imagine Constantine is having a stroll though Gotham after finishing up some business with Bruce, and just bumps into a homeless guy by accident.
Later that night:
Batman: Constantine, Why are you calling? Is it to do with the-
Constantine: Why the fuck is there a Homeless God in your City?
Batman: Wait wha-
...
Or imagine they know before Constantine meets him, and it goes instead like this
Constantine: Why the fuck is there a Homeless God in your City?!
Batman: You mean Old Man Danny? He's just a homeless guy? What do you mean?
Constantine: I swear on what's left of my Soul, that is a God.
Batman, a little shit: I don't think so, I would know (fully knows)
