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have courage and be kind

@gentle-hunny-blog

a sweet little girl in a sour big world.
sfw mostly; tagged nsfw
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“i dont want my fp to hang out with anyone else they should hang out with ME!”

okay 

1) who the fuck said they had to hang out with you

2) what the fuck does it matter if you dont want your fp to hang out with somebody YOU DO NOT OWN THEM THEY ARE NOT YOUR PROPERTY

3) stop being controlling and respect the fact that your fp doesnt want your attention 24/7 and doesnt want to be in your company 24/7 and IS ALLOWED TO HAVE OTHER FRIENDS/PARTNERS OTHER THAN YOU.

YOU BEING BORDERLINE OR HAVING A MENTAL ILLNESS DOESNT GIVE THEM THE AUTOMATIC OBLIGATION TO GIVE YOU MORE ATTENTION THAN THEIR OTHER FRIENDS

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There are nights I lay in bed, hoping for a miracle to occur, hoping for you to light up my phone screen. That hope is what is slowly killing me. I live on every single day yet I am dead on the inside; I am not living, just surviving. I fight the voices and I fight the demons in my head, they’re whispering, telling me how much more people would like me if I had just died, reminding me of how much of a failure I was. There were nights I needed your reassurance, condolence, love and for you to sit and fight with me, but I never asked. I would never ask. I would not burden you. My love for you grew every day, I was aware of how much it was draining me and I was aware of how much it killed me every single day, but it was okay. It was okay because I chose you over myself, to have you was worth the pain. I saw the world so brightly in your crystal green eyes which burnt so vibrantly, but not tonight. Tonight I will chose myself, I will fight alone, I will hope for a life where I do not have to be dependent upon somebody, who makes me feel badly for being this way. Tonight, I will fight alone and I will love myself.

An excerpt from a book I will never write. (via i-am-my-own-murderer)

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thatfeelwhenyourfp
Anonymous asked:

tfw ur fp is always busy because they have a life and all you have is bpd so youre sitting there wondering if they havent opened your message because theyre busy, they hate you, or theyre dead

thatfeelwhenyourfp answered:

.

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mercready-deactivated20191125

Bpd like ordering at McDonald’s and when they ask what emotion u want ur brain’s just like “can i get a fuckin uhhhhhhhhh”

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do you like to see the sun or to sit and read? i like to watch my wounds fester in slow, slow motion and don’t be silly spare your politeness you would pay to see me tear my skin apart pay to see the bones protrude.

a.h.// a charge for everything (via boringblood)

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when u split on ur fp but u also realize u would never in a million years leave them so ur feelings actually dont even fucking matter and they never will

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i feel like i’m always faking it. i feel like everything i’m doing, i’m doing it for attention. even when no one’s there and no one’s looking, i’m still always hoping someone will notice how broken i am. and i feel like such a horrible person because of it

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bpdstudying-deactivated20180102

Do you ever wonder what bad thing you did in your past life to deserve what is happening to you now?

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binkydoll-deactivated20170821

I love you, I love you so much. I do. I really do. I love you and I can’t breath. I love you in my dreams. I love you in my songs. I love you in me. I love you. I really do. I love you so much and I can’t stay away from you. I love you and it hurts. I love you and I love it. I love you and I always will, because I love too much, and you are my love.

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Me thinking about a time when I wasn't getting attention for one milisecond: yikes :/