Do y’all know how many times I’ve listened to Florida Georgia Line’s H.O.L.Y.  without realizing it was supposed to be an acronym? Too many times. I’m slow.

Senator: How quickly do you delete data when a user deletes their (sic) account?

Zuckerberg: Uh... as quickly as possible. I’m not sure... as quickly as possible.

This is not very comforting testimony.

“We do not sell our user’s data.” Really?

Food Log 04/09/2018

Black-eyed peas + Rice + Green Beans + Apple + Beets 361

Egg 70

Cottage cheese + Cantaloupe + Cereal + Cut veggies 366

Salad + Popsicle 68

Rice + Brussels sprouts 140

Oatmeal 133

Cabbage 60

Total 1198

Food Log 04/08/2018

Cottage cheese + Celery + Cantaloupe + Beets + Brussels Sprouts 194

Oatmeal 163

Apple + Egg 136

Eggs + Spinach 169

Rice + Mixed veggies 208

Subtotal 870

Beer 150-200 (? I never know how to count my alcohol. It’s a porter, and I assure you there is nothing light about it.)

TBA 150 (Maybe 3 fig newtons or maybe a 2nd beer. Haven’t decided yet.)

Total 1200

I had a supervisor tell me today that (paraphrasing) I had resting bitch face. In our subsequent 15 minute dialogue, I had to practice smiling at said supervisor (not even making that part up).

But you know what made this really weird? Said supervisor is a woman. I’ve been told countless times over the years to lighten up, that I look prettier when I smile, that I should be friendlier; I’ve been wracking my brain and I cannot come up with a single time that I’ve heard it from a woman.

My initial thought was that maybe it was more genuine advice coming from her; but at the same time, shouldn’t she of all people realize how uncomfortable “you should smile more” can be? Does that make saying it even worse?

(I know I’m overthinking this. It was weird.)

I asked myself “should I go talk to him?” and I realized that I just wanted somebody to say yes, to give me permission to go talk to a guy I really, really like.

And you know what? I sucked it up and went and talked to him for TWO HOURS and it was WONDERFUL. I’m like walking on air right now.

I had a dream where he told me he liked me, maybe even loved me.

Then I woke up and had to reconcile that happy thought with reality. Time to go back to playing cat-and-mouse with him. (Insert frustrated noises here)

Food Log 03/27/2018

Cottage cheese + Apple 154

Black-eyed peas + Quinoa + Zucchini + Cantaloupe 247

Wrap + Rice Krispies treat 510

Italian food (500?)

Cocoa + Cucumber + 2 Popsicles 103

Egg + Green beans + Cantaloupe + Oatmeal 331

Total 1845 (?)

Second lunch is killing me here. I’m not even hungry; I’m just bored.

Food Log 03/26/2018

Salad + Zucchini + Cantaloupe + Cottage cheese 178

Oatmeal + Egg 224

Mediterranean food - 400-500 tops; I’m bad at estimates

Snapple + M&Ms 240

Granola bar + Jelly 205

Banana + Yogurt 200ish (didn’t weigh the banana; I’m guessing here. It was actually a pretty little banana - could maybe be an overestimate)

Cocoa 21

Black-eyed peas + Quinoa + Broccoli + Cantaloupe + Popsicle 259

Total 1727-1827, ballpark

I braced for this one to be gory, and it was. But I’m trying to be honest here. I actually feel a lot less bad about it now, because it doesn’t look as bad on paper as it does in my mind. (Again, I realize that worst case scenario I’m at or below maintenance relative to my activity level. Still hurts - I know I should have stopped with the junk after that lunch; I’m bad at turning down free food.)

Food Log 03/25/2018

Salad + Zucchini + Cottage cheese + Cantaloupe 165

Oatmeal + Apple 223

Hot chocolate + Cabbage + Egg 230

Black-eyed peas + Cantaloupe + Green beans 182

Popsicle 20

Quinoa + Mixed veggies 202

Egg + Rice cake 112

Popsicle + Cucumber 67

Total 1201

I need a drink so bad right now, y’all. It’s unreal.

Food Log 03/24/2018

Salad + Cantaloupe + Cottage cheese + Zucchini 168

Oatmeal + Hot chocolate 180

Apple + Cucumber 108

Doughnut 190

Cabbage + Quinoa 181

Broccoli + Broth + Black-eyed peas + Rice cake 198

Popsicle 20

Egg + Green beans + Cantaloupe 155

Total 1200

PSA: Being skinny enough to fit all the clothes on the clearance rack doesn’t guarantee anything about them being flattering. Sometimes (most of the time) it’s not you, it’s the clothes. Not worth beating yourself up.

Food Log 03/23/2018

Salad + Egg + Prince Edward medley 164

Oatmeal + Apple 225

Subway “240″

Bastard child of a doughnut and a croissant 270

Oatmeal + Cantaloupe + Cocoa 207

Rice cake 50

Popsicle + Cucumber 43

Total 1199 (Not gonna win any prizes for nutritional quality today, but hey...)

Dear pickle manufacturer,

Serving size: 3/4 of a pickle spear? Really?

(I, too, like to round down to zero :p )

Food Log 03/22/2018

Salad + Cottage cheese + Prince Edward medley + Clementine 165

Oatmeal 153

Cut veggies + Apple 114

Eggs + Cereal + Peas 367

Subtotal 799

Box Lunch (Dinner? Is “Box Dinner” a thing?) ?

Total IDK I mean, I know it’s over the 1200 I wanted for the day. I planned the first part of my day around it, and I feel pretty okay with myself overall. I didn’t go crazy when I got home or throw in the towel and just keep eating. At worst (highest) estimate for calories in the box meal (and I’m really bad at guestimating this), I ate at maintenance calories for today relative to my activity level. This is okay. Back to the grind tomorrow.

Food Log 03/21/2018

Salad + Cottage cheese + Zucchini 149

Oatmeal 154

Cut veggies + Apple 145

Quinoa + Lentils + Broccoli + Cocoa 240

Egg + Quinoa + Green beans + Apple 223

Popsicle 20

Oatmeal + Mixed veggies 264

Total 1195

Food Log 03/20/2018

Salad + Cottage cheese + Strawberries + Zucchini 155

Oatmeal 155

Cut veggies + Apple 140

Lentils + Broccoli + Rice cakes + Cocoa 256

Egg + Quinoa 170

Popsicle 20

Oatmeal + Egg + Green beans + Clementines 304

Total 1200

I haven’t studied anything because I don’t feel good.

I don’t feel good because I’m anxious.

I’m anxious because I haven’t studied anything.

Food Log 03/19/2018

Salad + Strawberries + Zucchini + Cottage cheese 175

Oatmeal 157

Cut veggies + apple 124

Lentils + Quinoa + Mixed veggies + Hot cocoa + Popsicle 324

1/2 Tollhouse cookie 80

Egg + Rice cake 120

Polenta with tomato, spinach, and basil + Clementine + Strawberries + Popsicle 220

Total 1200