i haven’t used this blog in a really long time, so much so that my age in my bio is out of date by two years. i’m pretty much firmly out of my marvel phase. it was important to me while i cared, but i don’t care anymore, and that’s okay. maybe i’ll come back to it one day. probably not.
i’ve been thinking a lot about this blog, however. a lot about the experience of running it. i’ve gotten amazing messages- people telling me i helped them embrace their identity, that they enjoyed this blog and my sense of humor, and they admired me for standing up to transphobes.
i’ve also gotten a lot of not so great messages. my inbox is still full of harassment, and i delete most of it. i’ve been called insults and slurs for stating my opinions- or sometimes for just existing and trying to have a good time. and sometimes for stating facts. some of the people who have harassed me on my post i dont engage with. some i did. some of them were pedophiles and terfs and they were harassing me over a comic book character. i was a teenager when i made and used this blog.
if this blog has helped you at any point, i’m glad. truly i am. i’m just reflecting. i don’t really know if i want to ever come back to this blog, even if i started to enjoy marvel again, simply because of the level of vitriol i endured by being an openly genderfluid teenager with loud opinions.
i don’t think i should have had to be an inspiration for standing up to transphobes harassing me. i think i should have been able to be a sixteen year old who liked marvel.