I found this camera on the subway and look what was inside...

I would marry this man

guys we broke another post because this one’s not showing any notes

When I liked it, it flashed “0 notes”

Red, White, & Royal Blue (2023)

twitter is good for showing me how they do things to hedgehogs for example anesthesia & x-rays

child handling for the childless nurse

My current job has me working with children, which is kind of a weird shock after years in environments where a “young” patient is 40 years old.  Here’s my impressions so far:

Birth - 1 year: Essentially a small cute animal.  Handle accordingly; gently and affectionately, but relying heavily on the caregivers and with no real expectation of cooperation.

Age 1 - 2: Hates you.  Hates you so much.  You can smile, you can coo, you can attempt to soothe; they hate you anyway, because you’re a stranger and you’re scary and you’re touching them.  There’s no winning this so just get it over with as quickly and non-traumatically as possible.

Age 3 - 5: Nervous around medical things, but possible to soothe.  Easily upset, but also easily distracted from the thing that upset them.  Smartphone cartoons and “who wants a sticker?!!?!?” are key management techniques.

Age 6 - 10: Really cool, actually.  I did not realize kids were this cool.  Around this age they tend to be fairly outgoing, and super curious and eager to learn.  Absolutely do not babytalk; instead, flatter them with how grown-up they are, teach them some Fun Gross Medical Facts, and introduce potentially frightening experiences with “hey, you want to see something really cool?”

Age 11 - 14: Extremely variable.  Can be very childish or very mature, or rapidly switch from one mode to the other.  At this point you can almost treat them as an adult, just… a really sensitive and unpredictable adult.  Do not, under any circumstances, offer stickers.  (But they might grab one out of the bin anyway.)

Age 15 - 18: Basically an adult with severely limited life experience.  Treat as an adult who needs a little extra education with their care.  Keep parents out of the room as much as possible, unless the kid wants them there.  At this point you can go ahead and offer stickers again, because they’ll probably think it’s funny.  And they’ll want one.  Deep down, everyone wants a sticker.

This is also a pretty excellent guide to writing  kids of various ages

i am the very model of a modern gay millennial i have a tumblr blog and a prescription for estradiol i've problems economic, psychological, and medical and sympathies political which border on heretical

I’m very well acquainted, too, with squabbling over media

On discourse I’m regrettably the new encyclopedia

I know the petty crimes of many YouTube personalities

and who’s been cancelled over slightly retrograde mentalities

I’m very good at diagnosing narcissistic tendencies

and calling out fictional people for interdependencies

in short in all things unimportant yet somehow perennial

I am the very model of a modern gay millennial.

A crested eagle tangled up with a snake in battle

the Aztec were right, that is absolutely an omen worth building a city for

do you know how rare it is for me to have a post on my main blog that breaks 1k notes? this is is really the one the people have chosen?

THIS WAS NOT MY WHOLE MEAL. I WAS JUST GONNA ADD IT TO INSTANT RAMEN. DON’T KICK ME WHILE I’M DOWN.

Being an actor keeps me sane. Yeah I have to work a day job but know what? When my day job is stressful and I want to scream I get to go hey wait. I have a scream scheduled at 7:30 tonight. Gotta save up. And then I go back to what I was doing.

I have a scream scheduled, I have a kiss scheduled, I have an argument scheduled, I have a making up scheduled, I have a sing and dance scheduled, I have a get slapped in the face scheduled, I have a cry scheduled, whatever. It’s all good.

Something something the Greeks were right about catharsis.

ohhhhhhhhhh my god and when you argue you always have a comeback, and when you make up there’s no lingering anger, and when you scream you don’t have to hold back, and when you get slapped in the face you know you’re safe, and when you cry you know all will be well.

Oh and if it doesn’t turn out and your character dies or something well then you can go to the greenroom and have a snack and that’s good too.

Everyone saying “oh like bdsm” or “oh like larping.” Yes. Humans thrive on imagination and play in many ways.

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Not aware that 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company.

Boy: ‟Dark in here.” Man: ‟Yes it is.” Boy: ‟I have a baseball.” Man: ‟That’s nice.” Boy: ‟Want to buy it?” Man: ‟No, thanks.” Boy: ‟That’s my dad outside.” Man: ‟How much did you say the baseball was again?” Boy: ‟$250.”

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom’s lover are in the closet together.

Boy: ‟Dark in here.” Man: ‟Yes, it is..” Boy: ‟I have a baseball glove.” Man: ‟That’s nice.” Boy: ‟Want to buy it?” Man: ‟No, thanks.” Boy: ‟I think I just remembered something I needed to tell my dad.” Man: ‟How much did you say the glove was again?” Boy: ‟$750.” Man: ‟Fine.”

A few days later, the father says to the boy, ‟Grab your glove. Let’s go outside and toss the baseball!” The boy says, ‟I can’t. I sold them.” The father asks, ‟How much did you sell them for?” The son says, ‟$1,000.” The father says, ‟It’s terrible to over-charge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I’m going to take you to church and make you confess.”

They go to church and the father alerts the priest and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.

The boy says, ‟Dark in here.” The priest says, ‟Do not start that shit again.”

JEFF WE TALKED ABOUT THIS

s/o to this skeleton babe from 1936

This is a really poignant illustration of the seductive nature of glorifying war but that is a LOOK and she is SERVING it

I've seen Death depicted as a card dealer or other sort of gambler, a guy in a suit, a farmer, a robed apparition, and any other number of things, but this? This has to be the best Death I've seen yet. An old seductress saying "hey kid, don't you wanna die in a trench for a government that doesn't give a fuck about you, just like your dear old dad?" This goes hard as fuck.

Transcript (thank you to @witchstone for sending me the missed and/or unknown words/places)

Hello! I'm back to show you how to make one fashion blunder after another starting with these pyjama pants. Which are so big each can be used as a sleeping bag. And then, from the children's department, I got this tiny little vest. Please have a look at my pecs, I went to the gym today. Look how tight that one is.

Okay, too tight around my big pecs. I then went and got this vest that came from Dolly magazine 1970's Christmas Edition. Fix my hair, clap clap for that.

Nope, I'm not going out in pyjamas anymore. I decided I would just put on these plain ordinary jeans. Doodgewone jeans for any occasion and just have a look at that. That's not too bad. And then bring out the slippers, because I'm still quite keen on the nightwear thing.

And then check if I can dance, yes I can as long as I don't move my feet. And back to 1970s where I got this jacket from the old man down the road. He said I could use it, but I said no not today, I don't wanna wear it out too soon. Found a little bag from the girl down the road again and now look at me!

I look like the gay plumber from Pofadder.

THIS IS BRILLIANT.

Bard dueling

☕☕☕☕☕☕

“Ohhh, dadgummit!” Jack Schmitt tumbles over into the lunar dust during the Apollo 17 mission to the Moon, December 11-14, 1972.

worth noting that this is the most recent living person to have walked on the moon

fucking cringe

you post cringe on the moon once and then no one ever goes back there

it would take 2.3 million years for Jeff Bezos to earn his $183.3b net worth working 24 hours a day at New Mexico’s $9/hr minimum wage.

That’s 11.5 times longer than the human race has existed.

Purgatory Prime