TONY STARK
Anonymous asked:
What are potatoes?
A good source of nutrients, and an even better, more reliable source of gossip, rumors, and lottery number hints.
Happy Easter
May all your eggs be decorated in encrypted ciphers leading to dewy cavernous laboratories embedded in stones. And may those same eggs be filled with muted screams and the key to the laboratory. May you lock yourself inside the laboratory for five days and feast on jack rabbit, as per tradition and government mandate.
Attention
It’s that time of year again readers! Yep, it’s bio-hazard season! Bio-hazards can easily be prevented by not stepping in blood puddles, or simply not committing murder and leaving the corpses to rot. If you find bio-hazards or toxic wastes in your home, dripping from the ceiling fan or air vents or at your place of work, slowly crawling up the elevator shaft, please contact the Bio-Hazard Control Center for an immediate memory wipe.
Anonymous asked:
What do I do about this irritating bird outside my window that keeps pecking strange messages in morse code?
Tell him he truth about the garden gnomes. If the bird is anything like my neighbor, or my three cousins, this bird will soon be living in a bunker in Fort Lauderdale with man named Pim.
Anonymous asked:
I need advice on buying my first car, please?
Don’t look the car salesmen in the eye. This proves difficult as they all have thirty seven eyes on each arm to prevent auto theft. But if you respect their gaze by averting yours they will gift you with an automobile with all the fixin’s: Radio, horns, antlers, sturdy hooves, a cutting jawline, and cup holders.
It’s Starting
Side of effects of the beginning may include Geography lessons. If there are persistent antiques in the room please contact your doctor before starting the removal process as this may prove to be the beginning of a 400 day cycle of a new cycle. It’s starting
