Avatar

Gay Raccoon

@gayraccoonthing

Little gay raccoon feller. Only the gayest :)
Avatar

Show Me Your Pets Please

No, the emporium wasn't hacked. It's still me and I wanted to bring some happiness to your dashboard. This is Izzi, she's my co-worker/shadow. She is usually under my desk asking politely demanding me to hold her. Can you see her little mad face? You can't get too close or she will lick you to death. When you see me publish a new product or reblog something on the emporium there is a 87% chance I'm holding her. You are probably thinking is this some clever marketing ploy. He's trying to trick us into buying something. Corporations don't have dogs.

I don't really have a good answer for you. I have no new products to mention nor any coupon codes to give. I just wanted Izzi to be famous and I thought I'd abuse my power to make it happen.

Now, can I see your pets? Puppies, Kitties, Fishies, Bunnies, Birdies, I want to see them all.

This ⬆️ is Dash. He is literally the bestest boy ever, he loves everyone and everything. I'm pretty sure he couldn't bite someone if he tried. He is so so so good. But he has a little bit of trouble with setting boundaries, if a dog is playing with him he won't stop even if he wants to because the other dog is having fun and it is so sweet but also I wish he would just stop for his own good. I love him so much. His favorite holiday is the 4th of July!

MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS AS WEAPONS

Piano:

- drop it on someone

- hit someone with a keyboard

- the strings could strangle someone (or maybe cut their throat? the thin ones)

- ammo for a catapult

Melon:

- smash it on someone's head

Smash mouth melon cover goddamnit! Lull your opponents into a false sense of security by playing them a nostalgic song and right when they close their eyes to sway to the music, BAM! Bash their brains in!

I saw that this was part of the pilot script and I was called by God himself to doodle it.

Avatar
7-umbrellas

Awww

i’m sick of this shit

EVERYONE ELSE HAS GOTTEN A HUG

P L E A S E

b r u h 

they had it 

and then they took it out???

THE WRITERS JUST L O V E SWIPING STUFF RIGHT OUT OF OUR HANDS DON’T THEY

Avatar
intp-again

WHERE DID YOU ALL FIND THE PILOT SCRIPT

welcome to corrupt officials brawl, where all your least favorite government officials can fight! Inspired by @goverment-agency-bracket

I am your mod [insert name of your choosing here], and please use he/xe pronouns for me

some ground rules:

  • Real people are allowed (dead or alive), and this is not limited to just real people so characters as well, the only things not allowed are controversial fandoms
  • if a submissions funny enough I’ll include it even if it isn’t a government official (ex: guy from my school who started a country)
  • Contestants will be chosen of off if I feel like it, if they’re funny, how often they’re submitted, or how good the reasoning is
  • bracket will be seeded to the best of my ability
  • the amount of people in the bracket is decided by how many you guys submit

some characters with automatic entry’s:

  • Ben Chang (community)
  • Donald trump
  • Gov (wttt, he’ll probably get knocked of first round but idgaf he inspired this)
  • guy from my school who started a country
  • McCarthy
  • Nixon
  • Ford
  • Raegan
  • Jesse Helms
  • Newt Gingrich
  • Kissinger

let the games begin!

Idk who to tag for exposure ima be fr with you guys

This is the reason we got polls

Avatar

🦀 WE THE CREEPLE (CRAB PEOPLE) 🦀

Do hereby declare That we want to be paid better  And have to work fewer hours

And that Roberd should have to share with us his fruity cocktail beverages that he’s always walking around with for some reason 

WE WANT PINK DRINKS! WE WANT BLUE DRINKS! AND WE WANT PLENTY OF TIME BETWEEN SHIFTS TO DRINK THEM! 

Will you sign our petition?

Reblog with your support!

#CRABUNION

— The Bargaining Crabmittee

Crink, Ibble, Pree, Smorp, Thisp

If you don't stand for the crab union you won't be standing at all anymore

gxldslvgs-deactivated20130516
Avatar
pizzaforpresident

why are people even questioning obesity in america

why is your tea liquidised?

Avatar
gallifreyanprincess

….. Where exactly do you live that the tea isn’t liquid?!?

ENGLAND. WHERE IT IS IN A BAG AND YOU MAKE IT YOURSELF.

image

like what do you do with already liquid tea? Microwave it?

Avatar
paradoxsocks

No it’s sweet tea you drink it cold

Avatar
abbysrwk

WHO DRINKS COLD TEA???

HAVE YOU NEVER HAD ICED/SWEET TEA BEFORE?!?

Avatar
yourlocalpsychopath

so i reblogged this from a british person and i’ve been laughing at their tags for 600 years

image
image
image

England, you stole tea from China.  You’ve had it a mere 4 centuries compared to their 30+.  Don’t play like you’re some kind of authority.

Avatar
starkinglyhandsome

[skeletons ooh-ing]

Avatar
uberfaenatic

Shots fired. World War Tea has officially begun.

Englad doesn’t own anything

Avatar
dad-monster

except that time we owned most of the world

Avatar
dangerbooze
Image
Avatar
that-artgirl

If I stop reblogging this, I’ve gone to the other side.

Avatar
that-duck-in-paris

I have only seen this legendary post in screenshots, so today is a blessed day.

HAH

BOSTON TEA PARTY PART 2

Avatar
autumnneedstostop

HOLY HELL I FOUND IT

Avatar

And this is why I love Tumblr

Avatar

Drinking cold tea is like drinking cold hot chocolate. Sure, you *can* do it, but you *really shouldn’t*

Avatar
brownirisandcurls

Behold concerned Brit. Chocolate Milk

I only see this on pinterest omg….

Avatar
weestarmeggie17
Avatar
hermiones-enchantment

BEHOLD THE GREATEST TUMBLR POST

“world war tea” is the best play on words i’ve heard in weeks

this post is a wild ride from start to finish

I haven’t seen this since chocolate milk was added. Is that really just an American thing? You’re missing out guys!

Avatar

😂😂😂

Cold tea

Cold hot chocolate aka chocolate milk

Cold coffee

I mean, do yall even know about cold water or is that an American thing too???

YOU GUYS DRINK COFFEE COLD AS WELL???

Does the rest of the world not use ice cubes? Do y'all not have freezers? What is going on?

Just thought I’d put my 2 cents in this post, it’s iced tea and not sweet tea. Idk what Americans r smoking 💀

I’m relatively new to Tumblr but it seems like sort of a big deal that I found this post so I’m gonna reblog

Avatar
twink-servant-of-baphomet

Imagine not liking iced tea- actually im gonna go drink some now

I don’t even know what to say…

Avatar
grangerstarkid

i drink iced tea every day >:)

Avatar
dontcallmeashlynn

Iced tea is brilliant but hot tea is nice too

Avatar

Behold concerned Brit

World War Tea Situation

This post is a relic

Me seeing this for the 14th time in my 5 years on tumblr and seeing more notes and comments but still reblogging it since it’s literally a World Heritage Post

date of origin: November 5th, 2013

Avatar

The legend has crossed my dash.

I have never seen this post and I’m so glad I have now 😂😂

I’ve only seen this post in screenshots

I feel special being apart of something.

Sometimes when I think about brands on tumblr I think of them like the little cousins that walk into your room while you're talking with friends that you just have to let join and they start talking about weird shit and you're just like, 🙂 very cool.