sad damp men

redditors coming to tumblr is gonna create a spike in people figuring out they're trans that will rival even the first 6 months of quarantine

it's ok, boys. i was once as you are. let the questions bloom & the answers enfold you 🌸

PSA to newcomers! if you:

then uhhhhhh you might want to think about that a bit! if any of those things rang a bell, then DM me and we’ll chat about it 🩵🩷🤍 😘

And always remember -- you never need the "whole thing". Gender identity and expression are both vast spectrums.

It's way more useful, rather than trying to answer the big question of Am I Really A Girl (tm), to break it down into individual subunits:

To use myself as an example: I genuinely hated the way that testosterone made me feel, emotionally and physically. Going on testosterone blockers was a way to solve that problem.

But I like my facial hair, especially after estrogen, so I kept it.

If you feel like aspects of being your assigned gender are painful to you, but you're not sure you're Really A Woman/Man (tm), figure out what'll make you happy and just do that. Take my hand, and join me in the big wide world of gender homebrewing.

Some nonbinary identities? Some nonbinary identities!

'Genderqueer' in particular has a lot of overlap with 'nonbinary', and a lot of people use both (for instance, I use agender, genderqueer, nonbinary, and transgender), although there are differences! 'Nonbinary' is by far the most common term for those who don't exclusively identify as one binary gender or the other (63.1% according to the 2023 Gender Census; genderqueer came in with about 35%), 'genderqueer' is less common but still important as hell.

Genderqueer, specifically, can be seen as the loud reclamation of 'queer' as a gender identity. This is my gender (or lack thereof), and it's queer. Binary or nonbinary, trans or cis, if your gender is queer, then the term genderqueer could work for you. There's a good post on it here that articulates it nicely.

Examining some misconceptions:

Do you have to be androgynous to be nonbinary? You do not! A lot of nonbinary people enjoy androgyny, a lot specifically desire androgyny, but there are a lot of other nonbinary people who are perfectly content and comfortable presenting as their AGAB (assigned gender at birth), as a different gender full-time (ie. an AFAB person presenting masculine full-time), etc. Gender presentation does not equal gender identity, and that goes for any gender identity.

Aren't nonbinary people all teens? Not at all! I worked out I was nonbinary in my late twenties, and am now 36. Judith Butler published Gender Trouble, one of the first major publications to look at nonbinary identities, in 1990, when they were 24 (they're now 67 and still identify as nonbinary), and Riki Wilchins coined the term genderqueer in the mid-90s, when they were in their 40s!

Do nonbinary people have dysphoria? Some do, some don't. Some have physical dysphoria, some have social dysphoria, some don't have either. Some take hormones, some get surgery, some change their names and pronouns, some change their presentation, some don't. The same goes for binary trans people - dysphoria is not a requirement for being trans. The only thing that makes you trans is identifying as a gender other than the one you were assigned at birth - the rest is down to human variation.

Don't you all have blue undercuts and incomprehensible pronouns? You can do your hair however you like forever. As for pronouns, anyone can use any pronouns they want, cis people included! I know cis people who use they/them because they enjoy their gender being irrelevant to how people see them. I also know a lot of nonbinary people who don't use they/them! There are no universal pronouns that are going to be 100% accepted by everyone - in the 2023 Gender Census, only 74.5% used they/them, with 42.5% using he/him and 32.7% using she/her. A full 11.5% didn't use either of those three, and there are a bunch of linguistically fascinating pronoun sets that many feel more comfortable with.

These pronouns aren't proper English! Stop changing things! Nah. First, language is ridiculously fluid. We come up with new vocabulary all the time. Imagine if in 1974, someone told Bob Kahn and Vint Cerf they couldn't use this neologism internet, that'd never catch on? And some of these terms are significantly older than a lot of people realise - the singular they was first used in the 14th century. 'Ou' was first used in 1789, 'thon' used as a gender-neutral pronoun in 1858, and 'ze' in 1864. The Spivak variations (popularised in 1991 on LambdaMOO by Michael Spivak, but in use well beforehand) had an early example in 1890, and I personally use the Elverson set (ey/em/emself) as my secondary set (after they/them), first developed in 1975. These are long histories, and you can choose whatever makes you most comfortable from within, old or new, common or uncommon.

Isn't this all very... permissive? Yep! You can do whatever you want forever.

Some sources:

Happy gender exploration!

Some poor suffering gobs!!

I love these and I wish to adopt them.

The last goodbye

Wolfwood: does a gay lil pose that pisses you off

EEEE MY SILLIESSSS

that post that was like "even jiang cheng's fans don't like him in the novel" is so funny to me like actually i love him more and not in an apologist way in a people should apologise to him way i will fight people with a sword for my emotionally dysregulated king you don't speak for me

OMG.  @satonthelotuspier​, YOUR TAGS.  TT^TT #jiang cheng#OP is right we do not apologise for jc in this house#this bitch never had anything to apologise for and I will never consider myself a jc apologist#if you don't like him fine  im not losing sleep over it#but lets not pretend its for some morally superior reason#tis either bc hes a threat to your faves relationship#or his very real very human response to visceral trauma and more loss than a single person should ever have to deal with that doesn't fit u#idea of pretty suffering#I love wwx so much so this isn't in any way reducing what wwx felt or dealt with#but every bit of grief and mourning fans facilitate wwx as being allowed to feel (yes#he is allowed too)#never forget jc had even more right to those emotions#that was HIS family HIS sect HIS legacy HIS core that was destroyed HIS torture (almost to death - never ever forget they didn't know if he#would even survive) at the hands of an enemy he had shown up alongside WWX#I think I'd be a bit fucked up and not in a pretty uwu way too after all that#JC got tough and unfeeling on the outside because he had to - for his own survival and that of his sect#his family#his legacy#his nephew#and under it all was a man who still loved too much#a man who cleaned the weapon that had orphaned his nephew religiously because it belonged to the shixiong he#just wanted to come home and apologise to his family#so he didn't have to feel so guilty about still loving anymore#a man who stuck his neck out and interfered in jin sect politics just to keep his last blood relative#the boy his sister gave birth to#safe - and give him a fighting chance at keeping his sect and his life#I'm normal about jc sure#sorry op#this got out of hand

“Isn’t there somebody you forgot to ask?” meme but it’s Jiang Cheng

:)

TrigunAU where everything is the same, except they wear the Barbie and Ken outfits for the whole series.

little ch.19 ww redraw or smth

best saint to pray to for stealing my neighbors xbox

patron saint of pissing off neighbor

coolest saints

list of catholic burglars

how to earn forgiveness for stealing xbox

can priests play halo

Best trick I ever picked up. Seriously.

I have also learned this is great for [PICK A COOL NAME FOR A SHIP] and [LOOK UP THE FACTS ABOUT OXYGEN LEVELS] and [WHAT’S THE WORD] and [DOUBLECHECK CHARACTER’S EYE COLOR] and ALL KINDS OF THINGS.

Anything that isn’t critical in the moment, and could be filled in later while I’m currently trying to burn through writing pages that will be lost if I don’t get them out right now? Brackets.

This is seriously the best advice, and it really helps put it into perspective that the first draft is just that- a draft. There’s no reason to agonize over a particularly tricky bit of writing when you could just leave it in brackets and skip to the good parts, the parts you’ve visualized. I also use brackets for [fact-check this], [use a stronger verb], [is this in character?] and other notes as I write, just so I don’t forget what I want to work on when I go back and edit. 

This works for academic writing too. If you know where you’re going just leave yourself notes to fill in later. I do this all the time,

I use this all the time, can recommend

we can argue about queer rep in media until the heat death of the universe (and we will!) but u gotta admit: when someone says ‘the gay pirate show’ or ‘the gay vampire show’ or ‘the cartoon with the girlfriends with magic powers’ and you have to say “which one?” it feels pretty good

Quite late but twewy still on the back of my mind

SPIDER-MAN: ACROSS THE SPIDER-VERSE

— 2023, dir. Joaquim Dos Santos, Kemp Powers, Justin Thompson

*doesn't post about/draw a character for 50 years* i am basically the CEO of beinf a fan of this character

Hey! Question for writers. How do you do that

we dont know either

(inspired by ofxanadu's work save a horse on AO3)

Daybreak/Sunset at the Field of Michael

Some visual ideas.... I'm OBSESSED