Standing at the top of the stair well wearing my bunk mates clothes to scare him at the abandoned factory sleepover after our scary "Clone vat" movie watch party but I forgot he put a curse on his clothing to act like puppies when ever they see him so they rip themselves off my body and bound down the stairs to greet him and start barking and im just naked at the top of the stairs and afraiud and embarased and but instead of being angry he steps up to me and stwrts to. .. .... we start kissinf
Dorian: How’d it feel to change?
Cole: First…I was afraid.
Dorian: nods understandingly
Cole: I was petrified…
Dorian: Wait
Varric, in the distance: giggling
We are receiving unconfirmed reports that it is bedtime. Citizens are advised to get into their pajamas and remain on high alert
Anonymous asked:
Where the hell are you that all this stuff happens to you? Your account is a wild ride and I'm one hundred percent here for it
Yesterday a guy outside my grocery store showed up in a buckskin jacket and a Canadian flag cape with half his beard shaved off and got into a yelling match with a gay dude about who owns the rainbow, but I ran into him later and it turns out he’s a really cool dude so Idk where I was going with this but yeah this is just my life.
Today a totally different guy showed up, drank milk and vodka in his car, rolled down the windows, started BLASTING AC/DC, and began playing what has to be the worst flute solo I have ever heard in my life. He played for half an hour and then turned off the music nd left. Didn’t even step outside.
People accuse me of lying for internet points, and I swear to the fucking Lord I am not capable of making this shit up.
Like….. It would sound too fake to lie about
Ready to bet the real difference between your life and the rest of the world isn’t the amount of weird stuff happening to you, OP. It’s that you actually pay attention to it.
@leafenclaw YES THANK YOU
SUPER LATE UPDATE but rainbow guy later met me in the park and gave me a bag of broken glass and told me we were reincarnated soulmates, so. That took a few off of the initial ‘really cool dude’ verdict.
He also got arrested but that was unrelated
hello from the commission stacks:
yall sure do be spending money on some of the things in the world
i'm not complaining, but dang does it make explaining my career to my late sixties chinese migrant parents
difficult
its 2am and im at the point where im "hm do i hate every line ive ever drawn or do i merely need to do the unconscious"
the colour scheme is planned to be lasagna
Love that Disney CEO Bob Iger says writers’ and actors' demands are "unrealistic,” as he was paid $498M over the last 5 years, 384 times as much as the average writer.
He lives so lavishly that he published a love letter to his yacht…
Solidarity with all the workers on strike. Make this scumbag pay.
Okay kids buckle up for the INSANE story I just heard from my little brother
**As a disclaimer my brother is a cis straight dude who only dates the most basic white girls you can find. He's very emotionally aware but doesn't linger on his emotions, just processes them and moves on (this is wild to me)**
He calls me on my break just to say hi, that he’s driving back to Denver from visiting his girlfriend, to which I respond “didn’t you break up with your girlfriend (of like a month) last month” and to which he says “yeah I have a new girlfriend, we’ve been together four weeks but I went up to spend the weekend and meet her friends” and I’m like ok great this is already ridiculous
So we’re chatting and I’m teasing him about how he doesn’t sleep with people on first dates and he says that he’s changed his policy, it’s just that he won’t have sex with them if he’d rather be doing something else, so I joke that I’ve had that where I’d rather be watching the show Chernobyl (true) and he says “yeah or watching a movie with my housemate” and I say hey bud that’s kind of gay and he says yeah I actually had a weird gay moment last night
And I go oh???? And he goes yeah, I was at the bar with the girlfriend and some of her friends and one of them was a guy and we were hitting it off, doing a little flirting as you do with your bros at the bar~
And then my cis straight brother goes on to explain that sometimes when you’re out with the homies and you’re having a good time and the vibes are right you just give em a little kiss, like just a kiss on the mouth between bros, “no tongue or anything like that but just to express that you’re close and having a good time”
I’m like “My dude that’s not a thing” and he’s like “between confident straight men it is” and I’m like “NO IT’S NOT"
So there we’ve got my brother having casual queerplatonic relationships with his homies at the bar, and he’s telling me this and I’m obviously speechless, so he goes on and he’s like “so because this guy and I were hitting it off I go in for a little kiss and he fucking swerves me” and I’m like yes my guy but because my brother is actually very good with respecting boundaries he was like “ok man great communication, won’t do it again"
BUT
Apparently my brother and the dude and my brother's GIRLFRIEND who has been there the WHOLE TIME go outside (I assume to have a cigarette but he didn’t tell me that part) and the guy turns to my brother and is like “man I should have kissed you when you offered it” and my brother is like “cool good shit man” like in the most bro way possible and then the guy grabs his face between his hands and just PLANTS a big one on his mouth
And THEN the guy panics and shoves him down on the ground!! And my brother has the normal reaction to being shoved on the ground unexpectedly which is to say “what the FUCK” and the girlfriend says “what the FUCK” and the guy goes “what the FUCK” and leaves
And my brother ended the story there and was musing on it like "this guy obviously has some complexes to work through about his sexuality, no confident straight man kisses another confident straight man and then panics and runs away”
Which took me out at the KNEES lol
And that, dear readers, is the batshit story my brother told me!
OH MY GOD AND
AND
I told my coworker this and they were like I’m actually shipping him and his roommate and I was like HUH because I hadn't considered that and then later my brother sent me a photo of his housemate wearing sexy handcuffs
There was a HUGE raven on top of the church and when I stopped to take a picture it swooped at me, so I figured ‘oh shit I disrespected the unseelie’ so I apologized as it flew away and ten minutes later I got hit by a car but like, really gently, so what I mean to say is that the Fair Folk are real and they are willing to dish out warnings
YOOOO IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS PICTURE
GUYS I TOLD YOU I HAD A PHOTO OF IT
FUCK YEAH
In a statement to The Post, a spokesperson for NBCUniversal claimed the tree work is simply an annual ritual at this time of year. “We understand that the safety tree trimming of the Ficus trees we did on Barham Blvd. has created unintended challenges for demonstrators, that was not our intention. In partnership with licensed arborists, we have pruned these trees annually at this time of year to ensure that the canopies are light ahead of the high wind season,” they wrote. “We support the WGA and SAG’s right to demonstrate and are working to provide some shade coverage. We continue to openly communicate with the labor leaders on-site to work together during this time.”
If those trees were pollarded annually, the cut areas would NOT look like that. There would be big knobs of old growth at the trimming sites. Not seeing any of that here. The way those trees were topped (not pollarded, which is a very careful process that has to begin when the tree is immature) is excellent way to kill them due to loss of hydration, open sites to infection and parasitism during the best time of year for both, lack of nutrition due to so little greenery and new budding growth being left, sunburn and other exposure damage, and a myriad of other possibilities. Plus, if they were topped annually, they would not have the lovely drooping branches seen in the other picture but would have tons of vertical suckers instead.
This is what an annually pollarded mature tree should look like:
If this was done by the city, the public works arborists should be protesting in front of city hall and screaming their heads off right now. I'm not hearing about that, so... Tree law!
The Studios: *speak*
Botanists and other Tree Experts:
My mom said when she used to go to business meetings at GM in Detroit in the 1980’s, they would close the sidewalks to “repave” them whenever the unions were preparing to strike, making it more difficult or impossible for them to protest outside. This is a thing, this has been happening for decades. They know what they’re doing.
Bad elven bitches that love each other are 100% my weakness
after inputting some complex algorithms into my super computer i’ve determined what tumblr will look like in the year 2020
drbrianbae
i love how this comes back after every shitty update staff makes
I think Viscount Varric SUCKS because it's a wasted opportunity. For the hero's journey.
Varric, for all his attempts to distance himself from dwarven nobility, has a vERY DWARVEN TENDENCY. to believe that the home is about the walls. He's so ride or die for kirkwall. He was born there. Everything he knows is there. To him it's guilded, because despite being the product of a banishment from Orzammar, Varric lives a very privileged lifestyle. He can see when there are wrongs, when things suck, but has no desire to change them. They're all the way over there, they don't touch him. This is his house.
And then this group we have in da2—ALL of them are from somewhere else. It's easier for them to spot when something is wrong. And it makes Varric nervous when you suggest doing something as bold as changing it! He has a lot of ghosts, and if people start moving the furniture, they might let one loose.
It's the same way Varric is so great at ignoring Hawke's potential status as an apostate, especially one who agrees with and works with Anders closely. You could be doing it the ENTIRE seven years and he acts surprised when it all comes crashing down, and Hawke would never, would they? They saved his city once, they saved his house, why would they allow it to be broken? So it must all have been Anders.
FAST FORWARD. Kirkwall...does not feel right. Varric sits in his favorite places, eats his favorite meals, but now it's so much emptier. And the grief makes the walls feel small. If he wanted to get away from Cassandra, he could have. He went willingly aWAY.
And then ALL of inquisition happens. It's huge. A literal earth shaking event, led by some new upstart, some accidental figurehead. Its agents are from the entire world and it's the entire world at stake. And it still is! Varric learns who he is without Kirkwall, without Hawke, without Bianca.
And then I'm supposed to believe he just. Goes back? Sits in the Keep all alone shuffling papers? No I think that's bullshit. Varric is too big for Kirkwall now, and I think he's better for it.
btw its absolute fucking crime that loz always takes place in a time period where it is literally impossible for link to ever play fortnite
things that i think would change link legendofzelda’s life if he had access to them
- a skateboard
- rock candy
- those energy drinks that taste like sour patch kids
- minecraft survival mode
- they/them pronouns
- basketball shorts
- a therapist
- these earrings
your move, mr nintendo
Hey guys! The WGA is asking for people to sign a petition aimed against Universal. Treegate isn't the first union busting tactic Universal has tried.
They started a construction project that "just so happens" to block some of the sidewalks and forces picketers to walk in the street. The government told Universal they need to install safety rails to replace the sidewalks. A demand Universal has so far ignored.
Please sign the petition for Universal to install the safety rails and reblog.
i know its the mets, but this is the coolest shit i’ve ever seen a human being do
futureblackpolitician
Wtf????
Smoove with it too
meqabitch
This is the kind of shit you see in anime that shows that a certain character is stronger than other characters.
“Pathetic. You can’t even hold the bat you dare step to the plate? Have you no respect for the sport?”
reminds me of this gif
Baseball players are to be feared
thenamesdiondra
Reblogging for the last one
^Same for me
They just kept getting progressively more “woah”
much woah
lord-blongus
Oh my god this is a lucky universe
every time this post comes around, my favorite part is the “I know it’s the Mets” qualifier at the beginning lmao like how baseball that this zillion note posts starts with “sorry for putting this hellteam on your dash, bUT”
Y’all have no idea how hard I was trying not to laugh in class at that poor bird
funnierabbit75
They…they just blew up a fucking bird…
Ball’s dead. Bird’s dead. I’m dead
World Heritage Post
personally my favorite thing about Mr. Bird Evaporator is this imagine being the poor fool tryna rob this man’s house only to be instantly transported to the same dimension as that bird
He does photography now, and I guess just in case you’re booking him wondering “is it that Randy Johnson?” … here’s his logo:
Dude popped that bird and made it his whole personality. And you know what, I respect it. I’d do the same if I had that to my name.
The short shorts and crop top keep my body cool and aerated with maximum freedom of movement while I stay inside day drinking and playing video games all day
Holy Robes for the Vacationing Soul.
It was 98 degrees Fahrenheit outside today.
Me, sometimes, out of nowhere, at no specific time and for no specific reason.
Does this work for you?
I can do this all day
Plus one I made for my friend, 17.
Can you make the dr pepper one w the trans shirt. The first one validated me enough but i
For this guy