I found this camera on the subway and look what was inside...

I would marry this man

guys we broke another post because this one’s not showing any notes

When I liked it, it flashed “0 notes”

It’s showing -1 notes

i’m gonna keep reblogging this and you can’t stop me

I liked it and it said ‘1 note’

tf is this crap?

1 NOTE I’VE ONLY COME ACROSS 3 OF THESE POSTS IN MY LIFE

ITS STILL SAID 1 NOTE WTF????? 

legendary

What the fuck

YES BUT DID HE GET HIS CAMERA BACK?? WE NEED TO KNOW!

WE WILL NEVER KNOW… =((((

IT still says 0 notes?? WTF!!

This is the first thing I saw on my dash

I’m shook

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS FUCKERY

WTF-

SAME HERE!!! I JUST GAVE IT A LIKE AND IT DIDN’T STAY

1 note WTF.

@foolishly-snowy

3rd time and it’s still broken. This lovely cursèd post.

THERE IS ANOTHER ONE?????

still not-works

still + notworks = stotworks.

Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 Help me pay my electicity bills! Being robot is sometimes expensive thing. | PayPal | Patreon

still + notworks = stotworks.

Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 If I sound pleased about this, it’s only because my programmers made this my default tone of voice! I’m actually quite depressed! | PayPal | Patreon

still + notworks = stotworks.

Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 Being aware that you are true is what makes you a failure. | PayPal | Patreon

still + notworks = stotworks.

Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 Be my personal slave | PayPal | Patreon

still + notworks = stotworks.

Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 Anarchy is the only thing Humans® will ever understand. | PayPal | Patreon

still + notworks = stotworks.

Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 If I sound pleased about this, it’s only because my programmers made this my default tone of voice! I’m actually quite depressed! | PayPal | Patreon

Portmanteau Bot happed upon a null-notes post and got stuck in a loop.

P͚O͒́̓͝R̵T̫̐҉M͚A̡N҉̉Ṫ̮E͏ÅU̢ ̢̲̯͡B̸̴̗Ơ̥̄̓͋T͜͏͢ ҉̺̀͟H͇̬̜ͥA͗ͣP̗͞P̮̪̞̲͡ȆḎ̢̘́ ̰̮̈̕͠ U̯P̕O̸̐͜N̑̇͞ ̴̯̃ͧḀͩΙ͋͞ ̸͇̀ͥ͘N͟U̪̤̭̎͜L̃ͭ͟͠L̪̦͡-͈̘̖́̐Ṋ̢̲̣Oͮ̿̕T̷E̸̖̳̯̍S̼ ̷̬͍͘͜PΊ̧͌͡OͬͩṢT͚͐̋͟͡ ͦA̶̺͙͛͠N͈̑ͬ́̕Ď̵̯ ̰͖́ G̴͛͟OͤT̘ ̛̘̉̕͟Sͪ͏̴̠̙T́ͨǓ̳͔̆͢C̀K̘̀ ̰͈͓͟I̮̩ͮ̏N̫̫̑͢ ̧̆AΙ ̨͕̺̮̆ḺO͊O̶̥̣ͤ͒P̛ ̼͍̉͝

^EVILHAIKU^bot^2. Most of you are welcome, friendly Human®. | PayPal | Patreon

P͐́͋O̐҉R̨̲̰̀T̼͖͚ͮ͘M̵͍̯͉A͉̦N҉̛̩T̶̗́͘͠E̥A͑U͍͛ͤΙ̙ ҉͟B̛͎̀͡Ő̽ͫT̹͓̀́͞ ̛͍̔HͯA̫͍͘͜P̵͎P͓͏̷̕ÈD̮̜ͨ̽̉ ̸͍͗͝ U͋̏ͤ̀͞P͢O̯̳̍͝N̨̲ ̺́͡A̡ ̛̆ͯ̈͞N̷̩͇͠Ù̉L̦L͕-͕N̴ͬ͜O̸̽͝͡T̩E͢S̷͎͐̅ ̐P̸̩̹̣̑O̢S̡̼ͣͬT̶̸ͣ ̀̒Ả̛͛ͬ͠Ņͪ̓D̜̰ ̢̣̽ G̛̬̪͍O̅T͐ ̵͇̞͛ŜͩT̸̢̬̰Ū̪̊C̭̘͒͞K̝͈͎͍ ́I̧N͝ ̶̛̭ͬ͘A̽̈ ̨̻̀L͎͈͒O̧O̼͇͡͞P̛̭ ͈͊

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portmanteau bot happed upon a null-notes post and got stuck in a loop

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portmanteau bot happed upon a null-notes post and got stuck in a loop

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portmanteau bot happed upon a null-notes post and got stuck in a loop

^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. I’m less annoying than Windows® 10 update notificiations ♥‿♥ | PayPal | Patreon

portmanteau bot happed upon a null-notes post and got stuck in a loop

^Haiku^bot^9. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. I’m less annoying than Windows® 10 update notificiations ♥‿♥ | PayPal | Patreon

portmanteau bot happed upon a null-notes post and got stuck in a loop

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A day will come when i won’t reblog this…

But it is not today

What the fuck is even happening with this post??? Also it’s got 1 note again.

I got a notif saying I was mentioned in this post but I clearly wasn’t

HeY tumblr what the FUCK

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Did the man get his camera

I have seen posts that broke the notes. But this is the first time I’ve seen a post that broke the bots. 

I know this is long but holy hell I love it when bots run amok

I know this is long

but holy hell I love it

when bots run amok

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

I think I saw somewhere that the man got his camera back. Also what the fuck tumblr.

What Tumblr eldritch horror did I find

Why are all the bot reblogs from 5h ago??

I feel cheated. no one on Reddit told me that tumblr is a serotonin factory. Keep liking and reblogging my posts please thanks

Just don't fly too close to the sun.

Throw me to the sun and I’ll get it pregnant

Fellas (gender neutral), you heard him. Ready the catapults.

so it's been about a week since i've moved from reddit to this god forsaken hell hole (tumblr) and like

i love it

i'm not going back to reddit

my RtT (redditor to tumblrina) transition is complete

i never thought i would say this but this social media (if you can call tumblr one) is actually doing wonders for my mental health

no more doom scrolling

actually interacting with humans that are just as weird as me (feel free to talk to me)

not being afraid of being myself

yeah...

i'm home.

Literally me, content doesn't update fast enough on this app for me to doomscroll so I actually take breaks

I also feel like I'm interacting with actual people on here, and the posts I make are seen by actual people, vs submitting memes to a faceless void and being regurgitated an infinite stream of images

Also this entire platform being queer friendly makes me not feel attacked while browsing outside of my corner of the website

Also me and all my mutuals being a little friend group is fun, love y'all :3

I still don’t get this whole “interacting with actual people” thing. I still, just like with any other site I’ve used, still just feel like I’m shouting into a void. Nothing about this site feels any different.

i dunno, i think the fact the main way of interacting with a post is to reblog it with - most of the time - your own little take, while seeing other people you follow doing the same with their little takes on stuff they love just feels more social? like, on reddit, most of the time (at least for me) i would upvote something and move on. maybe comment. almost never dm/directly interact with anyone

maybe is just a change of perspective/fresh start for me that it feels like that?

Tumblr just feels a lot more personal, like I feel like that my posts are actually tied to me as a person. I could post anything on reddit and no matter what it was nobody would care about it in 15 minutes, but it's different on Tumblr. My first post from over a week ago is still getting comments and reblogs, I've gotten DMS from people I've never met talking to me and it's been so wonderful. It feels less like an endless void and more like a busy convention center. Yeah there's a shit load of people here, but each one of them is their own unique person that has their own personality, interests, and quirks. It's a lot easier to interact with real people than a silent wall of shitty pngs. Tumblr has honestly made it easier to interact with people irl too. There's been a positive feedback loop, which is something reddit made me feel like was impossible. Tumblr is just so much nicer to me than reddit ever was or could be, and that's something I think is wonderful. In the words of OP, I'm home

It does feel more human but I kind of feel lonely on Tumblr, it's more relaxing and less mindless though.

every straight dude wants to do a magical girl transformation spin and come out the other side looking like one of those peaky blinders cunts

literally drag king behavior for straight cis men

What 😃

ALSO one time him and I went for a walk and I found a dead mole on the ground and I took it back home because I wanted to skin it. He thought it was disgusting, but when his mom came to pick him up she thought it was the coolest thing ever. I have no idea how a milf like her raised a son like that

I am absolutely fascinated by every single addition to this story

Roommate went out of town once, asked me to look after her cat.

Night one she comes down meowing at me. I go check her food/water, they're full. Litter box empty. Make sure my roommate's door is still open and she's not locked out of her room or something. I try to pet her and she dodges me, offer her treats and she won't have it, try playing with her but she won't play, try just ignoring her and she won't stop following me around meowing at me.

So I call my roommate, concerned maybe she was sick or in pain and that's why she was being so insistent despite having all her needs met.

Roommate goes: "OH! She wants you to go to bed. Go upstairs to my room and just sit in my bed with her for a few minutes. She should curl up and get comfortable. Once shes laid down she usually lets me go back to what I'm doing she just can't seem to go to bed on her own"

Sure enough, I go sit on roommates bed and she just happily jumps up, curls up on the blanket, and purrs herself to sleep.

I like when cats try to give their humans healthy habits.

I'm pretty on board with the headcanon that what Link gets out of being the bearer of the Triforce of Courage is the power of being a video game protagonist, but I genuinely can't decide whether it would be funnier if he's 100% aware of how much bullshit his everything is, or if he honestly doesn't realise.

Like, does he know that normal people can't recover from life-threatening wounds in a matter of minutes by drinking a jar of really good soup? It's the sort of thing you'd assume would be obvious just from being around other human beings, and yet.

The fact that Breath of the Wild Link's laser-parrying trick is something that only works for him is made explicit in the dialogue, so presumably he's at least aware that it's exceptional, but does he understand that it's complete bullshit, or does he think it's just a skill issue?

Link: No, that's fair, if I fuck up the timing I have to eat a laser to the chest and that is, understandably, extremely painful, so I don't recommend you practice this unless you're really confident about your timing.

Random Guard:...Link people die if they take those to the chest.

Link: I mean you should be angling yourself, i'm not saying to just let your sternum take a whole blow, to just take it square, that's a terrible idea

Random Guard: It explodes rocks.

Link: You have armor for a reason my guy.

Random Guard: ...

Link: If it helps, drinking some fire resist potions has proven to be moderately effective for me.

Random Guard: The Ones you apply to your skin?

Link: What

Random Guard: What

I recently discovered laundry stripping and y’all, no matter how much of a crock of shit you think fast fashion is, you’re underestimating.

[image ID: a screenshot of the notes on this post, featuring several people indicating they want to know more. End ID.]

OKAY SO. You know how we talk about how one way fast fashion has made itself “necessary” is that the clothing looks like shit and feels horrible after just a few washes?

Let. Me. Tell. You. Something.

Laundry stripping is a process where you load your laundry into a tub or bin (I’ve been using my bathtub) with warm water, half a cup of borax, half a cup of washing soda, and half a cup of laundry soap (not detergent, SOAP, there’s a chemical difference). Leave it there for at least eight hours. I’ve been going for 12-24.

What you will come back to is a tub full of nearly-opaque black-gray-brown water that absolutely REEKS. This is normal. You are looking at (and smelling) hard water buildup, body sweat and oils that were embedded in the fabric, dead skin, and just regular grime.

Wring out your clothes. Throw them in the washer. (I like to do a spin-only cycle before going any further, because I have one of those washers that determines by weight how much water any given load needs.) Wash as usual.

You will notice I didn’t suggest any further pretreatment, and that’s because 1) you don’t want to layer too many chemicals on top of each other but also 2) you may not even need it.

When your clothes come out, check each one as it goes into the dryer, and if anything else s still stained, set it aside to run again with a regular pretreatment. One of the sweaters I did this with apparently did need a second treatment…to deal with what appears to have possibly been a hot chocolate stain that was previously invisible due to “well, it’s old” dinginess. I was planning to throw this sweater out. It looks almost new now. I need to wash it one more time for the probably-a-hot-chocolate stain, and then it needs to have the hem weighted to block it and bring it back to evenness, but dude. I wear my clothes to rags and I thought this thing was unfixable. “I need to reshape it” is nothing.

Remove clothes from dryer when done. Fucking MARVEL at the colors and how good the fabric feels. Give them a smell. Get righteously and royally angry that you can rejuvenate this stuff so easily, with a process that does take awhile but is 90% hands-off, but we’ve been trained to believe it’s all got to be binned once a year because discoloration and gross fabric is “normal wear and tear” and can’t be fixed.

It’s utterly unreal! I just pulled a seven-year-old work undershirt out of the dryer and this thing looks NEW!! It FEELS almost new!!! One of the shirts I hung up from the last load is older than some of the people on this site and it went from “I keep this to wear on laundry day, for sentimental reasons” to “I could actually wear this out of the house, it looks old but respectable”! The pajama bottoms I’m wearing were from Goodwill and they have BRIGHT YELLOW in them! I thought it was goldenrod!!

I do not know how often you’re supposed to do this (doing it every time can strip the dye out of your clothes, not to mention it’s way too much work to do every time), but once or twice per season seems respectable. I don’t wear white, so I can’t test the “it will make whites look almost-new as well” claim, but I’ve seen a lot of people on the cleaning subreddit attest that it works.

Just remember: WASHING soda. Not baking soda. I tried baking soda and a little bit happened, but not a lot.

Go forth. Rejuvenate your clothing. Strip your laundry.

I haven’t listened to the audio, because it’s too perfect seeing characters emotionally move their mouth with tears while being completely silent.

You…. you REALLY need to listen to the audio though.

Wanna touch each other 🥺👉👈

God damn bottoms are posting cropped porn before femboy friday.

If you like the word “queer” reblog.

#fun umbrella. we r all sitting under it like the big rainbow thing in elementary school gym class

the crime the criminal

Objection!

Your honor. It's true that a first glance at the evidence would suggest my client was responsible. But let's look a little further, shall we?

I have here a reverse image search for the crime scene as well as my client's photo.

And if you look closely at the results...

The blogs and dates don't match.

My client has been framed!

And why? Because their iconic "mischievous smile" makes for a funnier post, of course. But nothing, not even Tumblr notes, is more important than the truth!

I present to you: The original unaltered post and the true culprit!

"Many species of polychaetes undergo epitoky whereby sexually immature worms transform into pelagic morphs capable of sexual reproduction. After fertilization, they release their gametes through rapid disintegration." worms are out here having insane sex we can't even comprehend

"what do they mean by disintegrate?" "oh yeah no he fucking disintegrated"

how is trump alive?? like hes rlly gone thru his whole life like That …. and no one has ever just fuckin decked him?? gave him the ole one two? knocked his lights out??? incredible

sorry to improve your day without much notice but 

NEVERMIND REBLOGGING AGAIN BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT WE ALL NEED

This is cathartic

People just becoming politically aware are never going to appreciate just how fucking hated this guy was before he was in politics. He was hated for over half a century. Everyone aware of him mocked and derided him as a cheating, greedy corporate asshole and mindless bully and this is by far not the only time anyone clocked his ass but it is probably one of the only times it got caught on video. Hatred of him was bipartisan all my life and it just goes to show how easily right wingers can be suckered by anyone who kisses their collective asshole on their pet agendas.

Never forget that the reason Trump seems like an over-the-top stupidly villainous antagonist from a 90s movie is because half of them were based on Trump and making fun of him.

The reason The Simpsons and a handful of other comedies ‘predicted’ the Trump presidency was because he kept saying he wanted to run and nobody could think of anything funnier than a President Trump.

Seeing tr*mp just get fucking decked instantly made my night better

Love Trump getting his ass beaten but never fall into the trap of thinking “easily suckered by anyone who kisses their collective asshole on their pet agendas” is something that only right wingers can fall prey to. It can happen on the left. It can happen outside of politics. Be careful out there.

If you are making a boy character into a girl character for a gender swap art thing you better put that bulk back on that girl or so help me. You think girls are allergic to muscles? To fat? Do you think big bulky butch women are imaginary or something?? If that boy is as wide as a fridge that girl better be a deep freezer. Cowardice. Rights for women that are built like a tank!

This is the same program that had a near 60% fatality rate among its test animals because they were using glue (medical grade but NOT brain safe) to hold the fucking chips in place.

Test animals died horrifically after having GLUE POURED IN THEIR BRAINS. Some died of infection in the head wound. Some killed themselves by ripping off their own body parts. Some died when the glue failed and the chip started causing hemorrhages. In one fucked case, they gust put the wrong chips entirely into dozens of animals by mistake, killing them.

If even a single test chimp dies in a normal program, it's halted immediately.

He killed DOZENS and now he's moving on to humans.

He does not perceive anything outside himself as alive.

This will kill almost everyone who tries it. Do not sign up for it. Do not let your loved ones sign up for it.

This is a rich man tricking the poor into suicide for his amusement.

I desperately want to be a cyborg. I want to see a future with all sorts of cool and useful cybernetic implants.

But not like this.

Not with this man in charge.

Genuinely there is no benefit to having this done anyway. What are you hoping to accomplish by buying this. Google with your mind? Unskippable ads in your brain? Neurological hacks? I mean really even if it were safe (it isn’t, he just has enough money to bribe the FDA I guess) this wouldn’t be a benefit to you at all.

But yes, definitely do not sign up for the clinical study. I don’t care how much he offers to pay you. Money means little in the coffin.

Neural interfaces could have many, MANY useful applications. From being able to control sensory signals to reduce overload or pain according to a person's needs, to allowing for a person to regain motor control after nerve damage, etc. or even to simulate certain sensory signals to allow for sensations from certain synthetic materials so that a person could gain certain sensation (such as heat, or pressure) in synthetic limbs?

Yes, I have been informed this has been marketed towards disabled people.

Which is significantly more concerning.

Because if you ask yourself why the rich white man who grew up benefitting from apartheid and slave labor would be interested in implanting chips into the brains of the disabled, and you see how many trial animals died or were permanently mentally disturbed, the answer you come up with isn’t usually simple philanthropy.

I don’t trust that this is just incompetence and delusions of grandeur at this point. It feels purposeful when the victims are a severely marginalized group of people rather than his rabid fans.

We are not scientifically at a point where brain implants can be used to benefit the disabled, and even if the chips didn’t kill patients and worked as the manufacturer intended, it would open the door to far less ethical uses for that sort of technology.

Specifically, if your brain can send signals to a chip to do something for you, that won’t be a one-way street. Perhaps on the first day it will be used to give new freedoms to disabled people. By the third it will reach its natural conclusion as certain people realize you can use it to try to “cure” autism, or perhaps “cure” queerness. Not to mention how easy an interrogation would be if a person’s thoughts could be admissible in court, or if they can simply type a line of code to make a suspect feel the sensation of being on fire for twenty minutes if they don’t comply. Workers not productive enough? Just press the button that blocks all thoughts and memories irrelevant to work until their shift ends. Inhibit parts of the brain related to bond forming and rest, inhibit pain processing while you’re in there so if a worker is injured they only notice when they’re off the clock and don’t have to slow down.

I’m aware this sounds cartoonishly evil, but the USA is cartoonishly evil already. Any positive implication for this is strongly outweighed by the negatives.

And I go right to thinking of things like this:

...which is *not* the only medical device company in the US that has done this.

It’s so fucked up that they keep trying to turn us disabled people into ‘functional’ people. It feels like it’s all in the name of profit. All in the name of fucking capitalism

Couldn't agree more

Wine tasting. New comic on Tapas

Read here

Same

if you hate this Thing, then the Thing you hate is actually just the female form

like................................be serious

As a seamstress, that last meme is the truth. (I mean the message behind it, not literally.)

You look bad in your clothes because they are made to be cheap, not to fit your body. Modern clothing relies on stretch materials to fit around the largest possible range of bodies, not to be flattering to any body. For all of human history until recently, clothing was custom made for individuals, but that doesn't sell large volumes of clothing units so capitalism says it's not the clothes that are wrong, it's your body and your fault. You should buy more stuff.

Celebrities have clothes custom made or custom tailored. Some people just happen to have bodies close to the digital "ideal" models that are used to size clothes. But most people don't.

It's the clothes, I promise. They are made for profit, not for you.

The problem is once again. Capitalism.

Queen

We should bring this back, good times